Summer's Point of View
I was here at the hospital for three consecutive days. Tomorrow would be my discharge since they're still examining me. Jake, Kyle and Fiona are the ones who take care of me alternately. Yola is the one who's taking care of Sunday. Sari and Aunt Sonia got their jobs but they still pay a visit.
"Do you get scared when you know?" I ask Jake who's currently peeling the orange for me.
"Yeah, who wouldn't be? Even Kyle and Fiona panics" He explains. He gave me the peeled orange and I started to eat it.
I smiled at the thought that there's someone who cares for me now. I smiled at the thought that I won't beg for people to be with me. But I realised it was because I was dying so they care.
"Do you want some fresh air?" I was brought up with his question. I nod and he helps me with the things that are needed. He even suggested that I shall get a wheelchair but I shook my head.
"I'm not someone who injured her feet and couldn't walk. I'm strong" I said. So we walked together with him still guiding me.
We walked to the backyard of the hospital. I just admire the scenery as it was great to be able to see these. I thought of what I could see when I died. Is it true that there's no heaven or hell and you would just be at the endless blackout.
"I wonder what I will see when I'm dead?" I even ask Jake out of curiosity.
"Hmm, I guess more beautiful scenery than this? Or a hotter place than this" He tackles.
"But what if there's no place like that? What if it's just a dark place?" I asked. That made him think.
"It's going to be even scarier to die. I just wish that there would be a place like heaven where kind, innocent and broken souls rests because it would be a pity for them to experience things like this in their life and death, "he said.
His answer made us both silent. I also kind of hope for that thing because it's really a pity if there's no such place like those. Like your living your life full of pain then when you die it's also just you suffering in a dark place.
"I don't want that," I said. I don't want to think of those thoughts anymore as it's making me shiver.
"I'm so sorry, I'm really sorry. Let's just think that God is always good for us and he wouldn't let us suffer more, okay?" He comforts me and comb my hair.
We decided not to talk about that topic again. We also sat down on the bench of the hospital as I'm getting dizzy. I think about the seven things that I want to do as I finished making the three of them and would make those four come true.
"I want to be at the church and confess my sins as I would get discharged tomorrow" I said and he just nodded while being on his phone.
"Okay, i would make it in time to be discharged," He said and that made me confused. Does he have a schedule for tomorrow?
"Do you have any plans for tomorrow?" I asked him. I can make my plans without him but it just made me curious.
"Yeah, my entrance exam for college admission will be tomorrow. I'm sorry, Summer. I really do, "he explains. That didn't make me angry at him, that made me angry at myself. I was a pain in the ass for him.
"No, no you shouldn't apologise to me. You should do your preparation for your examination and don't waste your entrance exam for me, please" I said and stood up.
I'm going to be in the room so he can leave and do his preparation for his exam. His exam would be so much more important than mine, i would die but his dreams won't.
"I'm in my room, you can now leave. I'm going to be capable of doing things on my own so don't worry about me, okay?" I said. He grabbed his bag and i thought he would leave but he pulled out his books and start reading those.
"I won't leave you, I can review here at your room" He simply stated that it affects my heart so much. There's still a person who wouldn't leave your side and would make you special in every way possible.
I just stared at him. I'm really hoping that he will be a successful person in the future. I would do my best to cheer for him in heaven. I would be happy and proud that I can already see him succeed.
"I'm going to be distracted, Summer. Stop staring please" He said shyly that I couldn't help but to laugh but minutes later I stopped staring at him and just opened my phone.
I played games for a while then I scrolled through my social media. This was my daily routine back then but I stopped doing this. I was really thankful for the existence of Jake and Kyle. I owe them big time.
Aunt Sonia sent a message and it was an invitation for Jake to go to our home tomorrow as they would plan to celebrate my discharge. That made me smile with tears as I haven't experienced something like this before.
"Aunt Sonia asks you to be at the house for celebration and don't be at my discharge time so you could spend it for your rest" I said without looking at him. He doesn't want to so I would just say it loudly.
"But you're my rest" He said that made me look at him and cringes. It is the most cringiest thing that I would ever hear and I wouldn't want to hear it again.
"Stop" I said with still a cringe face that made him laugh. I went back on my phone so he can also went back to his doings.
I scrolled through my gallery and there were very few as I didn't want to take pictures and for me it's also a waste of time. But I take pictures so they can have something that would be a remembrance for them. I also take a video but secretly as I don't want to bother Jake.
"If you're watching this, Jake. I love you and you're the finest man that I have ever seen in my whole life. You made me feel my first things in life and I'm so thankful for it. I hope you stay what you are and succeed in what you want. I'm always here for you, my lovely Jake" I said and stopped recording.
As I listened to those, I smiled bitterly at myself. I can't be there when he already succeeds. I can't be there when he's cheering and celebrating his milestone. I can't be there.
"I'm so proud of you, Jake. I really do" I said loudly. I put my hand in my mouth as I took a glance at him. He looks at me so I know that I bother him. I mouthed the words 'I'm so sorry' and made a peace sign. He smiled and went back to his doings.
After I got bored on my phone. I just peeled the bananas and ate them. I'm craving for peaches but I don't know who I'm going to ask for. I won't bother Jake because it's very important for him and I can't ask Kyle or Fiona because they also have plans right now.
"What's with a sad face? Does anything bother you? Do you want me to call the nurse?" He said and stood up. He wasn't going to really study because I am a distraction for him.
"No, I want you to leave already, Jake. You're not going to pass the exam because you're distracted by me. I can call the nurses on my own so leave" I said. He simply ignores it and goes back to the couch.
If he would ignore me, I would also let him stay in my room. I go to the desk of the nurses and ask them to buy peaches for me. I give them enough money and tell them that they can add fees on the bills of mine. The nurses nod and follow my request.
I would just eat the peaches in the backyard. And I really hope this wouldn't distract Jake and he would actually study for the upcoming exam.
I hope this time he can sense what my actions say. It is for his future as he would regret this if he didn't do it and failed at it. This would be the last wish that I want him to make so I hope he listens to me.