Summer's Point of View
I only remembered seeing my pedia when I was eight. I remember being scared because Fiona says that she saw somewhere that doctors would inject you with a virus so you would be a zombie.
"Mom, I am scared" I said when the doctor was instructing me to do something, I didn't know that it would be an x-ray.
"It would be fine, love. Don't worry I'm here. This would be a cure to your ill" She explains. I don't get it but i think i got a stomach ache and headache at that moment.
Now, I am in his office, waiting for him to arrive. The nurse practitioner said it when I asked her where Dr. Rivera's office is. I am scared about what I'm going to find out right now.
I'm also scared about the thoughts of someone finding out about the letter. I haven't opened it because I really don't have the strength to know. But after this, I would open the letter so that I would know when my deadline is.
I still have a lot of goals to achieve. I can't die. Not now, when things are going to get better. Not now, where I find the light in this darkness. I don't want to be the reason why my light would stop flashing. That scares me.
"Oh, Ms. Quinselt you're still alive" I think it was Dr. Rivera by his stance and looks. He seems older now and has a lot of wrinkles. I nod hesitantly at him. Does he know about my illness?
"Do you happen to know things?" I asked. He sighed deeply and sat in his chair. I was here getting anxious.
*Yes ever since I saw your medical exam when you were eight. I was really hoping and rotting to still see you grow up" He said. I was a bit confused, did my deadline occur when I was eight? Or what?
"There's a hidden letter from your parents. I would explain things briefly to you and I hope you'd understand, "he said and opened his drawer full of envelopes. Then he gets the envelope that states my name. He gave me the unopened letter.
"When you were eight, you got unconscious so your parents immediately went at me. Then we got to see your medical exam and the results are worse because you had cancer. But at that time it was curable. Your parents decided to get you chemotherapy twice every year but it stopped when you were thirteen. Your parents stop, "he explains.
"They stopped because they got into an accident," I said. He looked shocked and taken aback by what he just heard.
But I don't even remember getting chemotherapy in my life. I don't remember things like getting into those. I am more confused now. Is it because of the traumatic experience that made me forget about those things, i need to visit my psychiatrist.
"I'm so sorry for that, i thought they decided to not care about you anymore" He said.
"They would never do that. That's why Fiona said that I was the reason why my parents were crying. That's why they hurriedly went to the hospital when they knew I was hurt. Now I know, thank you Dr. Rivera" I said and went out of his office.
I immediately found a restroom and went there. I locked the door as I was breaking down. At this point, I was really the one to blame. I was not being careful. I was really careless about my health.
I hugged the letter and decided to wipe my tears. I went to check myself in the mirror as I sighed deeply. I remember that I need to act fine because Jake's waiting at the playground with his ice cream and hotdog. As he said to me.
"Act fine. You're still doing fine now" I said and went out of the restroom to book a car that would drive me to the park. The office was very far from our neighbourhood. It was more near to our old home.
When I went to the playground, I saw him patiently waiting at the swing, swinging himself bored. I smile at the view, he looks so gentle and he was dressed as a man. He looks nice while I look like a haggard hag.
"You patiently wait" I said when I went near him. He stood up from the swing and smiled at me.
"Of course, I will always do" He responded and held my hand.
"I didn't buy the ice cream and hotdog just like what I promised because I think they would melt half way" He explains. It's fine for me since if i were him I would probably do the same.
"Let's go to the convenience store and let's walk so we can know each other" I said.
"Is it going to be called a date?" He said shyly even looking down as he said that. I blushed at what he's saying.
"Yes, a friendly date" I like to tease him. He looks at me and pout looking like a child who doesn't get what he wants.
We went to the convenience store and he even teased me on the first time we saw each other here. It made me roll my eyes as he spits out every word that I say and mocked it.
"I hate you" That's what i just said when we we're at the counter paying what we bought and he's still not done with the mocking.
After that we went out and just walked. I love walking as I love riding the bike. It makes me feel like I was alive and still kicking. I don't have that much memory of walking freely because I always fear the people who would stare at me.
"Let's start getting to know each other, shall we?" He started and I nodded.
"One question only would be thrown at each other, no more follow up questions after that. And it would be only five questions. Deal?" I said. As I don't want to get caught about what I hide.
"Deal" He said excitedly. I gesture that I would be the first one to ask and he just nods.
"Okay, First question, I've been wondering about this thing. Why does your name Jake and why does Kyle named Kyle? Like why is there similarity there?" I asked.
"My mom wants us to be different from each other so she really get the different name for us so that it would not be a barrier to us to know who's who because she thought we're going to be identical one" He explains.
I get it now. I was always wondering about that thing since I first met them.
"I'm next, First question after summer what would you do? Go to college or what?" He asked.
I was frozen by his question. I don't see myself going to college nor see myself after summer. I don't get why but I have a lot of plans like going to college to be a psychologist and work at a mental institute but now I feel like I just want to survive the summer.
"Hmm, I will go to college after this summer. I would take psychology from medical school far from here and just take a dormitory room. That was my original plan" I said.
But I wished I would still do that… I would still have plenty of time left.
"Second question, why is it me that you're attracted to? Am I the first one you had a crush on?" I asked. And just noticed that I doubled the question. "Just take the first one," I added.
"I don't know. When I first saw you my heart instantly fluttered like you were the perfect creation that I saw. I instantly felt the urge to know you better. To treat you right and to protect you, I don't know, it's really cringe but that's how I felt" He explains and that sent shivers down my spine. It was the most genuine thing I ever heard.
"Me next, what did you feel when you saw me?" He asked excitedly.
I don't know what I really felt about him that day. Curiosity on who it was, fear, excitement, and anticipation for what he would do in my life.
"I felt a lot of emotions when I saw you. It was something that i haven't felt for years that i lived in this world. This might be the cringiest word that I would ever say but when I saw you I was excited, scared, anxious ,fine and happy. I don't know why" And that was what I really felt about him that i don't say up until now.
I'd swear, I want this moment to stop and just let us be together for a while because most of the time I only felt sad and guilty but now I feel other emotions when I'm with him. He make me feel alive once more.