Summer's Point of View
"My last question, how would you feel if you saw me dead?" I asked him. I was afraid of that question because I don't that think he would take it lightly.
"Summer, you know I can't let that happen" His words. That made me just nod, I really can't say it to him because it would hurt him knowing that I would die. And death is closer to mine.
"Yep, very well said. Let's go into our houses so we can rest, I'm tired" I said.
"I would ask my last question, right?" He asks. Oh, i forgot that he still doesn't have his last question, I got so nervous staring at him waiting for the question.
"Why do you say house when it's your home?" I was relieved that what I was thinking wasn't what he was thinking.
"Because I believe that home is a special place that is full of love while house is just a place where you live," I explained. He just nodded. My father taught me that lesson, that was his lesson every day before we go to bed so that if someone asks us how to differentiate those things we know how.
I hugged the letter. I plan to read them later as I would definitely rest first because I felt really dizzy. I would also definitely plan what I want for the rest of the days that i would remain in this world
When we went to the house, he gave me an invitation. I think it was an invitation to their birthday party. I quickly smiled at him and said my goodbye. Then i went inside and see Fiona in the living room, glaring at me.
"You are really a stubborn woman. You would definitely pay for the consequences of it" She said. I just nod at her, accepting what she just said. I felt really tired and at this point I just don't want to argue with her anymore.
I went to the bedroom and locked it, afraid that Fiona might see the letter that needed to be kept and hidden. I don't want to reveal it yet, not now, not soon.
I lie in my bed thinking about the things that have happened. Before I was alone, always in my bed not wanting to get out and socialise with people. Wanting to die and begging God to take me.
But now, I begged God not to take me anymore. To let me live and enjoy my life while I'm still here. Regret is always at the end. Regret is always at the very end. I have a lot of plans in life, I only waste my time blaming and hating the world back then. It was always my fault.
I wake up feeling heavy. I cough and cough but my throat is still itchy. The doctor said that a lot of signs are what I could feel since cancer spreads to me. I feel back pain, like my spinal cord is bending until it breaks.
I opened the window and I saw that it was already dark. I went outside to eat dinner. I was really surprised when I saw a dish inside the bowl, Fiona cooks something for me. I felt so happy thinking about it.
I ate and washed the dishes, getting ready to open the letters. I'm going to read mom and dad's letter first before the doctor. I was so nervous thinking about it.
Someone opens the door and it was Fiona. It was Fiona with Kyle making out? I hide behind the wall where it is possible they wouldn't see me. Is Fiona drunk and Kyle's taking advantage of it? I hope not.
They loudly went upstairs while I was left disgusted. Are they in a relationship? Does Fiona hide it from me? Does it get busier to not be able to see them anymore? Did I fail to protect Fiona? Does Jake know this?
I went out, straight to Jake's house. I knocked at their gate and was surprised because Aunt Marie was the one who opened it.
"Uh, is Jake home?" I asked. It was night so I thought he was in there. But if not, it might shatter my heart.
"Yes, honey. Why?" Aunt Marie's response. So what about Kyle? Kyle was at the house making out with my sister. But I think Kyle was able to ask his mother if he could go out.
"How about Kyle?" I asked her. I saw Jake going at us when he sees us.
"Kyle was at the bar. Why?" His mother responses.
"What's happening here? Mom? Summer?" Jake asks when he goes near to us.
"She's asking for you and Kyle. You guys can talk" Aunt Marie said and left the both of us. Jake was still staring at me, waiting for my answer.
"Uh, yeah i ask for the whereabouts of the both of you. It's just nothing" I explained to him. It's everything for me, though but I would just confront Kyle by tomorrow.
"You wouldn't go here at night checking the both of us just for nothing?" He said. I sighed deeply because Jake might get angry at Kyle for hooking up with my sister. I know Jake treats my sister as his younger sister also.
"It's really nothing. I got worried about the both of you because of my nightmare, that's just it" I said but he just opened their gate and grabbed my hand.
"I think you're lying about something. And you've promised me that you would say what's on your head" He said.
How did he know? How did he know that I was lying to him? Would he also know about my illness? Would he know that I would only have remaining days or months in this world?
"Don't hate your brother for what I'm going to say, don't even confront him now, please" I pleaded and even held his hand tightly.
"No. I wouldn't do anything to him so just say it" He said and held the both of hand and squeezed it gently.
"He's at the house, making out with my sister" I said and closed my eyes. I opened my eyes and saw him laughing. Is there a joke on what I just said? Is it a joke for him?
"I'm sorry for laughing, I really do. I didn't just expect what you're going to say. I have different thoughts of what he has done so I'm sorry" He said.
Oh, so what kind of thoughts does he have? Is it bad? I really don't know what those are.
"I just overthink a lot, I'm sorry for disturbing you. I really do" I said. I was embarrassed by that. Do I really overthink something over nothing? Is that really not worth dealing with?
And now, I just remembered what I really need to do. The letter, the to-do's that I'm going to do and the letters that I need to write so that i wouldn't leave them on guilt and blame.
I went upstairs and glanced at their room. It was too loud, it annoys me how it wasn't even soundproof. I need to confront Kyle about this early in the morning because they could have get a hotel room where they would make out.
I see that someone's at the gate. It was Jake with a straight face. I forgot to close the door. I went to the gate to thank him for following me so I could remember to close the door.
"Thank —" he cut my sentence.
"You can sleep at our home. It might be so loud that you couldn't be able to sleep, "he said. I was stunned by what he said. But in the end i just agree.
When we went to their house. Her mom was preparing her room to be my room. I even saw her removing all the family pictures at the lamp table. I wasn't even bothered by it, I was just envious and nothing to worry.
"You could sleep here for now, Summer. I am really going to apologise for the bad behaviour of Kyle. I promise to teach him a lecture tomorrow" She said and patted me.
"Uh, where would you sleep then?" I asked
"She could sleep in our bedroom. Kyle and I have a double bed so don't worry and just rest for today" Jake explains and I nodded. Aunt Marie even hugged me as she tucked me to the bed. That was embarrassing but I felt warmth at the same time.
I miss my mom tucking us to bed. I was again thirteen years old excitedly going to my bed because mom's going to tuck me. It made me realise that I was also prepared for meeting them, my parents.
I want to hug them, kiss them, feel their warmth again for so long that I longed for them. I would left some people here but i would also gain the people that I've missed.