It was morning when I found out this place was surrounded by the Sierra Madre. Without the storms, this mountain seems to be silent.
I was sitting on the wooden bridge while waiting for the prince because he said he forgot to bring something. Just a moment later, the prince was back, running towards me, holding a big blanket in his hand. I was already wearing his oversized sweater, so I wondered why he was still carrying a blanket. He wrapped it around my head, covering my eyes and rendering me blind. I took it off; the first thing I saw was him standing on the boat, his hand reaching out to me. I gave him my hand to help me hop in.
He made me sit down first. “To keep you warm," then took the blanket from me and wrapped it around my body. “My sweater is not enough to protect you from the cold."
He took the paddle that was inside the boat and rowed it himself. The sound of the water and the chirping of the birds seemed to be singing to my ears at the same time, gradually calming my troubled mind. The ambiance of the surroundings in the forest has become my therapist. I was about to close my eyes when Prince Augustus stopped the boat. I turned to him, giving him an expression as to why he had stalled the boat. He looked at his watch to count the time. "Ten..." Not far from where we stopped, I heard a strong flow of water. Large amounts of water came out of a hole in the mountain that turned into falls. I was amazed at how a mountain magically created a fall.
"This is what I want to show you. While rummaging through the hacienda's belongings, I came across an old book, my father's diary. In which he lists all the things he did for my mother. Luckily, I found it as if my father purposely left it there for me to read,” he said, pausing as he looked back at the falls. “The arrival of fall has a certain day and time that seems to be a mystery. No one can explain why this falls hides for a long time and only appears for a short time."
"It's like an eclipse," I added.
"Yeah, like an eclipse," he agreed. "When my father was still alive, he showed it to my mother. I want to do the same thing my father did to my mother."
I turned my gaze at him.
"And I want you to feel what my mother felt when she saw this," he said, touching my cheeks with his pale, cold hand. "I love you, neggie. I can't say I do without you..."
At this moment, it entered my mind. Why can't I be with him? I wish I was the daughter of a duchess like Felicity or a princess so I could love someone like him. Can I beg? Can I give my mother to the King? These crazy thoughts I had been having were making me desperate. But I want his pale hand to stay and touch my face. I don't want to go back, I don't want to say goodbye.
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"Are we almost there?" I asked, almost catching my breath because of the height of the mountain we were climbing.
"Not yet," he replied, as if he wasn't even out of breath even with the height of the mountain we climbed. "Take my hand." He extended his hand to me and continued to hold it until we reached the top of the mountain.
The other day, after he showed me the falls, he said he wanted us to do something else. Just before 5 o'clock, we walked to the mountain we were going to climb. I was struggling to climb, but I didn't want to show him that, I didn't want to be the cause of ruining his plan. He always takes time for us to rest, giving me the bottle of water he brought, making sure I don't get dehydrated.
"Can you make it?"
I nodded.
"Don't worry, we're almost there," Prince Augustus said as he stroked my hair. He pressed his forehead against my sweaty forehead before we continued climbing again.
One last Nipa hut, where we will rest, and soon we will reach the top of this mountain. Prince Augustus puts his hand above my head as we chuckle at each other because we are both almost out of breath.
Not far away, there was a flag standing next to the bamboo. The prince noticed that I saw the flag, and that's why he blocked it with his body. "Let me go up first," he said, climbing backwards to make sure I wouldn't follow him.
I laugh at what he does. When it comes to things like this, he becomes dumb. Why bother to hide it from me when I will eventually see what's on top of it?
Prince Augustus returned with a smile. He reached out again to take my hand. We haven't really climbed yet, but I notice some clouds. When we finally got up there, I saw more clearly how much the mountain was surrounded by clouds. I was mesmerized by this scenery. It's like a sea, but with clouds. I can't even see what's on the bottom, but it's still worth it. Like everything in this place, it's magical. The falls, this sea of clouds—everything seems so magical. But this is a fantasy, a fantasy that will never exist.
At the same time as the music suddenly started, my tears began to fall.
Don’t let me forget who I am when I go to war with my flesh.
Don’t let me settle for less than living this life for you.
And when I feel like a mess, as I so often do, I will retrace my steps.
Cause I know that they lead me back to you.
Find me…”
He stood, and countless times he reached out his hand again to make me dance on the top of the mountain, in the middle of a sea of clouds. The tears turned into sobbing because my heart couldn't handle the joy anymore. I was living the life that every princess desires—the life that Felicity desires. Do I deserve to be treated like this? Even though at the end of it I would leave him, I had to stop loving him.
Cause I get lost sometimes.
Find me, find me
In the dead ends of my mind
Cause I get lost sometimes.
Oh I get lost sometimes.
My hand was resting on his shoulder while the prince's hand was on my waist, leading me to dance because he knows I'm no dancer. With his hand on my waist, he was swinging it. I felt tired all of a sudden, my body seemed to be drained. I wrapped my hand around him and rested my head on his shoulder.
“I’m tired,” I whispered.
“I know,”
You’ve never withheld your love cause you know that it leads me back to you.
Find me, cause I get lost sometimes.
Find me, find me
In the dead ends of mind cause I get lost sometimes.”
In the middle of our dancing, something dripped on my face that came from above and eventually turned into heavy rain. We didn’t say a thing. None of us left, we just stayed steady. We could hardly hear the music. The heavy rain served as a backdrop to our music, and we continued to dance unaffected.
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Augustus lifted my shirt that was drenched by the rain, which startled me when he abruptly touched my waist with his cold hand. Putting his lips close to my ears. The night with him in the barns flashed on me, the night that I was troubled by him and Raeanna being together the whole week. It's no different now, my mind still troubled me but now in the decision whether I should leave him or I should stay and just leave papa in jail. "I am so glad someone like you exists," he said before pressing his lips to mine.
My brain said that this is wrong; I shouldn't let anything happen to us because even this body of his is not for me. "NO!" I stopped his hand from going up to my chest. But what my heart tells me is different from what my brain thinks. My body wants the prince, and I badly want to feel him inside me. So instead of stopping him, I initiated kissing him back. He grabbed my hips, lifted me in his arms, while kissing me hard, leaving me breathless.
Augustus carried me until we got to the bedroom. He had a hard time opening the door, so while he was holding me, I was the one who opened it. Slowly laid me on the bed, even though we were both wet from the rain. He was on top of me, staring at me as if he was mesmerized by my wet body. "I'll stop here if you don't want to do this. I won't do it if you're against it. But once we start doing it, you cannot stop me. So do you still want to do it with me?”
I was laughing at what he said.
"Don't laugh; you know I'm serious about what I said."
“You were asking for my permission now when you started kissing me the moment we entered the house,” I chuckled.
"Yeah, right," he replied, chuckling like me. “I just don't want to do it without you agreeing.”
I touched his nose to his cheek and to his lips, pulled him close, gave him a kiss that betokened my affection, and gave the sign to just do it. His hands captured my waist and pulled me close again, kissing my lips ardently. Our bodies were pressed together, and our arms were wrapped around each other. Augustus withdrew, kissing my face while his hands slid up my shirt. Starts unbuttoning my blouse and sliding the bra strap down, softly kissing my shoulder.
The night has been long for us. Because of the open window, the moonlight reflected throughout the room. Sitting on the chair that was near the window, naked despite the cold night. I couldn’t take my eyes off the moon, mesmerized by how the moon lit up the whole forest even though it was night and how huge and perfect it was. The cold has subsided because Augustus covered me with a blanket. We sat together under the moon, our bodies pressing against each other, eventually warming my body. Silently watching the moon until it was gone and the sun came up, and tomorrow comes again. I had no idea tomorrow would be my last day with him.