I turned and caught Yukenzo's alarming eyes. Lia didn't bother to go near me because her parents took her away already.
"I'm sorry, Van!" She continued shouting."Mom! She's my friend! She needs me!" and ranting at her strict parents.
"Don't get involved with their issues! Let's go, Rocelia, and stop being stubborn!"
But I didn't mind though. Because all of my attention is on the only person in front of me. The guy I thought who has no skeletons in his closet. At all.
"I-I don't know anything, Vanez... I swear---" he shook his head desperately but I don't want to listen.
No, I don't want to understand him. My emotions were burning up and all I can do is to look at him... with full disgust.
"Liar!" My thundering voice cracked a bit.
"I'm saying the trut--" before he could hold me, I started stepping backwards.
Pain highlighted across his face but I don't care. I don't care about anything or anyone right fucking now.
"Vanez..."
I shook my head a nth times.
"Vanez!"
I ran away. I didn't look back and cared about their calls. I ran and ran just to get away from all of them, from all the bullshits I was in. I thought I can finally feel the happiness I wanted for so long... I thought I can now heal... I thought everything's going to be fine now... I thought I can live the life again after so many years of being lonely...
I'm wrong... so wrong.
Fuck! This is what I get for being dumb. I'm the most stupid of all! Damn it, Vanez, you're screwed!
That revelation hit me so damn hard.
While running and letting my tears blow by the wind, memories of mevwith my mom, flashed back through my mind. It was the time before she left us... before she died unacceptably.
[10 years ago]
"Hmm... Hmm... hmm hmmm..."
"Mommy? What song are you humming?" The little me innocently asked the sophisticated and most lovely woman standing behind her.
The woman smiled at me throught our reflection in the mirror. She just finished braiding my flowing black wavy hair.
"That's the theme song of your favorite disney move, Tangled. Have you forgotten about it, hmm, sweetheart?" She really has this gentle voice.
I could nearly sleep because of that. My brows furrowed."Oh, but I think you're humming it wrong, mom!"
My mother burst out a laughter then. The little me can help but to pout.
"Ah, my dearest daughter. You never failed to make me smile. Come here..." she made me face me and cupped my cheeks.
"Someday, I'm sure, you're going to grow up beautifully... You're my most precious in this world, you're the best thing happened in my life, Vanez Amelia. I know that someday... you're going to become a successful lady. I'm looking forward to that..." it was almost a hush.
"What's wrong, mom? You look anxious," and because I'm just a kid, without pure knowledge of the reality lurking behind, I have no clue, never expected that I'm gonna experience my first heartbreak.
She gave me her mesmerizing smile."It's nothing, sweetheart. You deserve the world. When I'm gone please, continue spoiling yourself but with limits, it's not wrong to love yourself first before anything else..."
"Mom! You won't be gone! What's with your words today?" I said, hysterical. She just smiled again and planted a soft kiss on my forehead.
"Yes, sweetheart. I won't... shhh... I love you... you and your daddy. You're my everything..."
"I love you, too, mom..."
But then, she still did it. She still left me behind.
On her way to boutique, a random car hit hers. It was said that her face can't recognize anymore because of the tremendous impact. Her body were broke so as her face. It seems she died, mercilessly.
[End of flashback]
Now, I have to face it. I can't be happy--no, I will never be happy.
"Mom, you said... I-I deserve the world... but why is it that cruel to me?" I sobbed silently.
My eyes found Dad's Hilux. I hardened my face and pressed my lips together, firmer than ever.
"Vanez? W-what--wait, are you crying?" He put down his phone and tried to catch my eyes but I'm too angry to let him.
"Let's go home..." I opened the car and sat on the back seat.
"Huh? I thought you're going to hang out with your friends?" He asked, confused.
I clenched my jaw."I said let's go home, dad!"
He sighed but eventually went inside. I'm quiet while on our way. I'm just controlling my anger but I know it won't last long, it will burst out sooner, too.
The moment the car stopped at the yard, I stepped out. My steps were heavy as I entered the mansion. I didn't bother to throw my glance at the maids and bodyguards. Fuck their presence. I'm so mutherfucking mad right now!
"Vanez, I've been asking you, what happened? You're not talking since you left your friends there!" Dad's deep voice echoed in the whole corner of the place.
"Hon, what's going on?" Sharon's walking downstairs with Akira beside her.
"Hey, Van!" Innov appeared somewhere but I didn't entertain him. Not now.
"Tell me the entire truth, dad." I demanded.
His forehead creased."What truth? What are you talking about?" He looked clueless. Huh, as if I'm gonna be fooled again.
"Stop being pretentious, will you?! Just fucking tell me the damn truth about mom's death!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.
I saw how his eyes widened and heard the gasps from behind.
"M-my daughter--"
"Don't call me that unless you tell me all the truth!" I cut him off, looking frantically."You kept it from me... all those years! If I didn't know it today, you're not gonna tell me until the end, is that your plan? Is that it?!"
"Vanez, I'm planning to tell you about it---"
"Oh, shut it! If you really are, you should've told me earlier! Not this way, not this I have discovered from others! I can't believe you, dad! Damn it!" I almost brushed my hair in so much frustrations.
My voice were echoing inside the whole mansion but I don't fucking care, really. I don't care any damn more!
"Van, what's happening, really? Uncle Martin?" Innov's confused voice.
No one answered him. I was trying to control my temper while I still can, waiting for Dad to spill what I want to hear. All.
"Is that true, dad? Is that true that Anson Cabrera is the responsible for her death?! And you didn't even tell me about it? I'm your daughter! I deserved to know the truth!" I confronted.
His bloodshot eyes were pleading."Vanez... y-yes.. he is. He hit the car where you mom was in that time. I-I'm so sorry... I'm sorry if I didn't tell you early..." now, he admitted.
Even so, I already expected it. I can't still believe. My breathing became heavier but I can't control my tears from falling now. It's true! Fuck, true!
"Then, why did it vanish that easily? Why did the case pure gone? Where's the fucking justice my mom deserved?!" I cried like a child, mourning endlessly.
Tears fell from his eyes.
"I... I gave Anson freedom. H-he offered me shares for the company and I accepted it... in exchange of... of not putting him in jail... of not giving justice for your m-mother..." I dropped my jaw.
"What the hell, Uncle?" I couldn't even recognize Innov's tone.
I nearly fell, being out of balance. Because of that new revelation, I'm at my limit. I know I can't hold it anymore.
"Shit! Vanez!" Innov tried approaching me but I just pushed him away.
I looked at my father, the first man I adored the most, my first love, the first man I idolized. I looked at him with full of disgust and hatred.
"You never cared about her. You never loved her. You never about me and my feelings. You only cared about yourself, you reputation. You're fucking selfish! I hate you so much! I hate you more than before! Screw you for choosing the fucking company over the justice for mother! I'll hate you forever!" I shouted, crying loud and agonized.
I'm seeing him in pained now but I refused to care. I'm very angry and no one can tame me right now. No one...
"You're one hell of a father! I regret being your daughter! I wish you're just the one who died! N-not her!" My voice broke and before Sharon could lay her hand on me, I slapped her first.
"You disrespectful child! This is too much!" Her wide-eyed expression is iconic.
"Mom!" Akira approached her.
I smirked angrily."Serves you right! You're being too much, too! All of you!"
"Vanez!"
"I'm done. I don't wanna live in this hell anymore. Seeing your faces means hell to me..." I gave them a look full of hatred before I marched upstairs.
"Vanez! Wait!"
"Don't touch me, Innov! Get out of my way!" I pushed him away.
I got into my room and took all my clothes form the closet, including my things. I put it all inside the travel bag.
"Van... what's this? Why are you taking your things?" His panicking voice is what I heard.
I didn't make a response.
"Damn! You're really leaving?" He asked, shocked.
I faced him."Yes, and no one can stop me. I'm tired of all this shits. I'm tired living my life here... and there..."
"Van..." I refused his comforting holds. I'm looking pitiful to him again.
"Hey, don't leave. Can't I make you stay?"
I face him again, holding the bag this time.
"Don't ever follow me. I don't need anyone, even you." I said harshly and left him there, being speechless and hurt.
I am done.
I know there's so many things I would leave behind... or more like people who truly cares for me...
Lia... Innov... I appreciates them, really. But I'm just tired already. I hope we can see each other soon... if fates will agree.
And for him...
"It's wrong to let myself fall inlove with you, Yukenzo..." I whispered and never looked back again.