I looked at him, unbelievably. Even how much I contain my tears not to show up, they still did. I'm feeling a sting in my eyes after hearing those words from the first man who broke my heart.
I laughed sarcastically."What? Is that some kind of joke, Dad? Please, don't make me laugh." I said in a monotone.
"Goodness, Daddy! She's still the same brat we knew!" Akira testified.
"Akira, shut up!" Innov growled at her.
I hate to admit that my father's sorrowful eyes were affecting me. Big time.
"But that's the truth, Vanez. There's no day we forgot about you... there's no chance I accepted that you'll never come back to us anymore... I'm always hoping you'd come back, because I know you're just being blinded by your hatred towards us. I'm hoping for a chance, I'm aware of how asshole father I am to you. I regret everything I did, every decision I made and I know it's still not enough. I can endure if you won't forgive me but please, please don't stay gone again, my daughter..." his voice shaken so as his shoulders. He sobbed silently.
Aunt Sharon comforted him.
It was like daggers attacked my heart. My lips trembled, attempting to talk back but refused to, in the end. I looked away and gasped to stop the tears from falling.
Damn, told ya'! This isn't a good idea at all. I shouldn't go here yet...
"Excuse us..." I shook my head dismissively and turned my back at them. I was following Yuna and Henry's step when a warm arms wrapped around me, embracing me.
I stood being still. I smelled Innov's usual scent. The two in front of me, were looking shocked.
"What do you think you're doing?" Thank heavens for not cracking my voice!
"Are you going to leave again? How long? When will you come back? Will you ever do? Please, let us know, or... d-don't get away anymore..." he pleaded.
I gritted my teeth and removed his arms from me. I faced him, only to see his crying face. Oh my goodness! What is he thinking? He's being too emotional! But he has no fault...
"I'm not living here anymore. I'm living myself alone and I'm fine with that." I said weakly, too tired to fight and shout.
He shook his head repeatedly."Don't you want to eat ice cream with me, again? I missed eating ice cream with you, Van. I hope you know that." He bowed his head.
Shit! Why does he look so in pained? I feel so bad! I feel so guilty about it!
"Of course... I-I missed that days, too." I bit my lip.
He lifted up his gaze, mouth hanging opened and eyes widened. I sighed loudly and looked at Dad who was teary-eyed.
"I'm sorry, Vanez. I'm sorry for all the wounds I have cause you, for being such a bad father to you, for not... for not keeping my promise to you and your mother. I'm very sorry, my daughter. I know it was hard for you to accept everything but still, I forced you to. I'm sorry... I was not there to comfort you when you're crying because it was too painful enough, I wasn't there to humm a song a for you to calm you, to tell you stories before you sleep. I'm sorry for being useless..."
I looked up, forcing to hide my tears. But I failed. My nose reddened and I felt a lump on my throat.
Hot tears streamed down my cheeks."Y-you failed mom. Dad, I want to accept it. I badly want to understand you but I just... I can't. I know it's been years and my rants were still the same but can you blame me? You're not the one who suffered, who felt the pain all by herself, who coped up with it, without the help of anyone. You were not me. You were not there." I shook my head.
He nod his."I know, Vanez... I know. I know sorry's not enough... apologies not enough to heal the wounds. It's okay, as long as I'm seeing you in a good condition," he smiled tearfully."Look at you now, being a successful businesswoman. I'm so proud of you, my princess. My only princess..."
Tears flowed down my face like a waterfalls. Fuck it! Why does it hit so fucking hard? He used to call me that, when everything still fixed and ideal. I used to feel special and loved everytime hearing that from him but now, it was painful. So damn painful.
"You know what? You're so unfair, Dad! So unfair!" They gone shocked after I exploded like a bomb, cried hastily."You know I can't stay mad at you forever, even how much it hurts. Y-you know I can't removed the fact that you're my father and I'm your daughter! Even how much I'm hurt, it won't change anything!"
"Van..." I saw Innov closed his eyes firmly. His mother looked away with tears in her cheeks.
"Dad, you hurt me so bad. You failed me not just once. But don't worry, wounds can be healed by time. And I think it's been enough. I realized before I forgive everyone, I should forgive myself first and I did! It was... a kind of relief. I want to feel that again so... I will. Forgiveness is hard but to be free is satisfying..." I trailed off.
This is it. Fine, alright. I'm gonna give up everything now and accept the fact that I can't run away from it, even how far I go. I will still, come back.
"You're forgiven, Dad." There. I finally said it.
His eyes watered more. I laughed as he crossed our distance to hug me. I hugged him back, so tight. I missed him. I missed the warmth of the fatherly love.
"Thank you... Thank you for forgiving me. You won't feel unloved, nevermore." He hushed.
I smiled. Innov winked at me and wiped his tears. Ah, what a gay.
"Of course, Dad. I won't let you." I chuckled.
"Feisty as ever..."
Finally, I feel relieved again. Feels like home.
Indeed, I'm finally home.