“The Greek word for ‘return’ is nostos. Algos means ‘suffering’. So, nostalgia is the suffering caused by an unappeased yearning to return.”
― Milan Kundera
. . .
“Children,” Mommy says, and William tries his very best not to flinch. He couldn’t really explain it but… there was just something angry in her smile when she slowly turned to look at them, something almost dangerous glinting in her eyes.
Suddenly, the floor looks so interesting.
Next to him, Winters crosses her arms almost defensively as she tipped her head back with a slightly irritated glare and Mommy stares down at her then at William, the clear-cut evidence of the cookie crumbs on his sister’s cheeks still in clear view.
“Yes, mom?” Winters prompted.
For a moment, William was almost half-tempted to shove his teddy in her mouth if it means to get her to stop talking.
“Who among the two of you ate the cookies I made earlier?” Mommy asks even though she doesn't really have to ask. The cookie crumbs on his sister’s face speaks for itself, and William’s shirt still have the yummy syrup, but Mommy still asks anyway.
Because they’re supposed to be good kids and good kids tell the truth and Mommy’s still giving them a chance to tell the truth.
So, better fess up while they can.
…or at least, that’s what Dad used to tell them whenever he’s banished to the couch, even if William doesn’t want to be honest right now.
He feels really, really scared and when he gets scared, he can feel his lips trembling and his eyes prickling with tears, but he doesn’t really wanna cry because he’s no baby and Winters might be mean to him for acting like one. But still… Mommy's mad now and William doesn't really like it when Mommy gets mad, especially at him because she becomes mean and really scary.
Dad was right.
Mommy is scary.
At the moment, Mommy has her hands on her hips, one foot tapping impatiently on the kitchen floor while her eyes bore down on them like she can see the lie before they even think of trying to say it.
William really wants nothing more but to run away and hide under the bed there and then, but he doesn’t like the idea of leaving Winters behind. And to be fair, the two of them could no longer fit under their parents’ bed if they both tried to hide right now.
Dad always finds them, anyway.
Maybe they really need to find a new hiding spot…
“What cookie?” William asks, while making his eyes and smile go big and cute as he stares up at Mommy, just like the pretty lady’s spotted puppy he and Winters would sometimes play with in the park. Winters always complains about how she couldn’t really stay mad at William whenever he’s making this face, anyway.
However, for some odd reason, Winters now looked like she wanted to smack him upside the head instead. Even Mommy doesn’t look impressed.
“William.”
Oof.
Despite acting tough, even Winters tensed a bit at the really angry tone and William couldn’t stop himself from inching to… at least… hide just a little bit behind Winters when Mommy suddenly drops the smile.
Oh. Oh, no.
William knows that look.
Mommy’s going to take away all their toys and make them stay in their room. They’re definitely going to get grounded for this but… but William doesn’t wanna stay in his room! NOT WITHOUT TOYS!
It’s still morning and the sky is clear, but the air feels so nice and cool. It’s the perfect time to play tag outside and maybe look for seashells or play hide-and-seek around the house if he and Winters still have the time (even if she’s always so quick to find him) …how were they supposed to do any of those things when they’re inside where it’s all so boring?!
And he also knows Winters doesn't really like it when they get grounded too, because if they’re grounded, it means she's not allowed to read her stupid books or touch any of their boardgames.
They're not allowed to play or even do anything fun because getting grounded is supposed to be their punishment where they have to sit and think about what they've done (even if William doesn’t wanna think about what he’s done) which is really boring, by the way.
“Alright, last chance,” Mommy says in a voice that means she’s not going to be nice with them anymore. And William couldn’t quite stop himself from letting out a small whimper as he timidly gripped the back of his sister’s shirt (just in case she decides to run away and ditch him at the last second), “Who ate the cookies I–”
“I did.”
Mommy blinked, her eyes wide and round as she stares at Winters. Even William could feel his eyes growing wide as saucers, his head whirling around to look up at his big sister, his mouth dropping a bit.
Unlike William, Winters doesn’t even look scared. Just annoyed… as if this was just like the many times William wouldn’t stop pestering her to read him that cool, pop-up dinosaur-books Dad got for them when it’s supposed to be bedtime.
“I ate it all,” Winters says, sounding even almost proud of it and… and like she’s daring Mom to tell her that’s a bad thing, “I didn’t even share!”
And… wait a minute, that's a lie!
William can feel his mouth dropping even more because what is going on? Is Winters lying? Why is Winters lying?! Dad always told them that lying is bad and Winters usually listens to him, and she always tells everyone that she hates liars, so she never really lies… not when she’s the one talking at least.
Sure, she doesn’t always say the truth (like girls don’t have cooties because that’s definitely a big fat lie), and most of the time, she just shuts up but that's just her not wanting to talk, it's not her lying for real.
And never for William, at least.
She never covers up for William.
But that’s what Winters is doing right now, right?
She’s lying for William. She’s lying to cover up for William because Mommy is really angry at him now and he’s scared.
Then, that’s when William realized:
Winters doesn’t like it when he’s scared.
Mommy suddenly sighs, and for some weird reason, she doesn't even sound all that angry anymore, but she’s clearly still not going to be nice.
Winters doesn’t say anything else though, just raises her chin a bit higher, the same face she does whenever someone’s telling her she’s wrong and she’s planning on proving them wrong because Winters wants to be always right even if she really isn’t.
Sometimes.
William shook his head, stepping out of her shadow and pointing at his messy shirt, because that’s just not fair! “Mom! She’s lying! I ate the cookies, too! Look! Here, see?”
Winters only scoffs at him, “Lying is bad, William.”
“You’re the one who’s lying. That makes you bad!” William cries, pointing an angry finger at her, but she doesn’t even spare him a glance.
“Says the bad liar,” she muttered.
He scowls, “I’m not a bad liar!”
“Are too.”
“Am not!”
“Are too!”
“Am not!”
“R2-D2!”
William almost wants to scream there and then because she’s right. William is not really good at lying even if he isn’t lying right now! They both ate the cookies even though they knew they shouldn't because those are for dessert. AND DESSERTS TAKE TOO LONG!
But if they're gonna get punished for doing something they shouldn’t have done, then it should be both of them because they both did it. Not just one of them!
That's how it should be because that’s the right thing to do.
“Mommy, I’m not lying, I swear! I eat cookies too! Because I was sharing, and sharing is caring! A-And you believe me… right?” William pleads, looking up at Mommy who’s making a funny face while she’s watching the two of them argue.
“Don’t listen to him–”
“And Winters gave me the sheer-up because Dad says no–”
This time, Winters glared at him, “No, I didn’t!”
Winters really didn’t, actually.
“It’s pronounced seer-up, William–”
“See… r… up?”
“Syrup.”
“Sheer-up!”
She groans, “William, no–”
Mommy looks like she really wants to smile now, but somehow… she still looks kind of a little angry at them, and William doesn’t really know if that’s a bad thing or not.
In the end, Mommy doesn’t ground them (which is a good thing), but she did make Winters go sit in the corner where Mommy can keep an eye on her while she starts baking another batch of cookies because William wasn’t supposed to drink from a bottle of choc-kee sheer-up while William was allowed to play.
But after seeing his big sister looking a second away from bursting into tears, William doesn’t touch any of his toys and silently sits next to her on the corner instead.
They’ll play later.