. . .
“The fire you kindle for your enemy often burns yourself more than them.”
— A Chinese Proverb
. . .
In a blink of an eye, Winters was suddenly standing in front of Alastor and before he could even move to open his mouth to say sorry, sorry for jinxing it, she all but shoved him straight into the sudden pool of darkness that had gathered behind them just as the onryo literally burst into flames like some sort of phoenix, the trees around them quickly being devoured by the sudden onslaught of fire.
Not even a second later, they stumbled out of the shadows, not that far from where they were last standing. Looking back, Alastor can already tell that the forest fire is not going to stop anytime real soon.
…damn it.
“W-We have to… we need to get out of here now!” Alastor shouted once his legs settled well enough for a good sprint.
He turned and immediately managed to get to a few paces off… until he realized something. Someone was missing. Whirling around, Alastor barely bit back a particularly nasty curse upon seeing that Winters was still standing there, motionlessly watching the forest fire grew worse around them.
“Winters…?” he called.
She didn’t move.
In fact, she didn’t even seem to hear him.
Without thinking, Alastor hastily grabbed Winters by the back of her coat. Reeling her back (and out of the way of a burning tree branch) just in time. Alastor bit back a hiss as he struggled to toss a suddenly flailing Winters over his shoulder.
“We have to keep moving–”
She snarls, “Don’t touch m—!”
“Winters, stop! We have to leave!” he snapped when she managed to elbow him squarely on the jaw, very nearly making him drop her on the spot.
Alastor resisted the instinctive urge to cradle the aching bruise that was surely forming there. The initial lack of response briefly concerned him for sure—at least she stopped moving about like an animal caught in a trap now—before the more immediate threat of burning alive or being crushed by another huge-ass tree branch that would fall over, no thanks to the flames that were rapidly rushing all around them.
Alastor hurriedly retraced their steps.
Even until now, he can feel the flames licking at his heels as though with a life of its own, threatening to consume them both if they didn’t make it out in time.
Heart hammering, Alastor could barely hear Winters taking in a sudden sharp intake of breath just as smoke filled his lungs, making his eyes water and blur but he continued to run, trusting his nose to lead the way when his eyes no longer can. He couldn’t stop here. He couldn’t stop now… not until both of them were safe from the fire. 
Fuck.
This was his fault…!
It was only when they went past the coffee shop did Alastor had a half in mind to finally stop, letting his mate down gently on the ground.
He dared to look back, watching as the smoke rose up to the dark heavens. There was a hellish, orange light glowing from within the distance. And Alastor could have sworn he can still hear the onryo’s warped wailing ringing in his ears…
But it was only a few passers-by murmuring and pointing in concern at them and at the sight of the fire… and Winters beside him, her shoulders heaving every now and then.
Alastor can still smell the suffocating smoke, clogging, clinging around his nose, his lungs. And blinking out the lingering sting from his eyes, Alastor was instantly reminded of the real reason why he had never been a fan of smoking.
…and that was when it hit him.
She…
Winters could have actually died in there if Alastor had been a second too slow. That burning branch could have struck or impaled or worse—burn her!
He whipped around, the angry scolding just lying on the tip of his tongue when he heard it. A shallow, choked breathing. The sound of someone trying to breathe but they cannot, like they were drowning. Alastor paused, staring at his mate for a moment.
Because Winters was still staring at the forest fire, her eyes wide and glazed. Like she was seeing something else. And Alastor suddenly knows, with much certainty that she is not here with him.
“H-Hey… Winters? Winters!” Alastor called, reaching out to shake her shoulders urgently, causing her to flinch away from him, her unfocused eyes finally snapping to meet his. Her mouth opens, but no words come out, only frantic breaths.
Fuck, it’s a panic attack, isn’t it?
FUCK…!
He immediately tried not to let his own panic show as he gently ushered her away to a secluded corner, a bit further away from the still-gawking humans. “Winters? Winters, shhh. It’s okay. We’re okay. We’re done here. We should leave now, yeah? It’s over. Let’s go. Let’s just go…”
She shook her head, frantic.
She can’t breathe. She still can’t breathe.
He firmly placed his hands on either side of her cheeks, making her look at him as she continued to panic. Alastor wasn’t sure if this is going to work but he had read an article once… he couldn’t really remember how most of it goes, but he still gets the gist of it.
He just hopes this will work.
“Okay. Win, I need you to listen to me, okay? Really listen,” he tries to nod encouragingly at her, before he breathes, theatrically and visibly as much as he can. “Breathe in, breathe out… there, see? Follow my lead. Breathe in, breathe out…”
Winters didn’t look away from him as she watched him breathe, but a few more terrifying seconds passed until her breathing began to have any semblance of regularity.
She squeezed one of his hands on her face.
“A... A-Alastor?” her voice sounded so small.
So frightened.
He swallows, uneasily.
“Yeah? The one and only,” he jokes, attempting to lighten the mood as he slowly urges her to look away from the sight of the flames from the distance once more. “Let’s get outta here first, alright?”
But the thing is, he’s still a bit infuriated that Winters would just stand there earlier in the face of danger like a baby deer in a headlight… and also half concerned that something had triggered his mate into being stunned by the flames.
What’s with the panic attack?
Is it phobia?
Was she just really startled, caught off guard?
Or was it something else…?
And as if to prove him right, Winters only stared at him for some time, in what he felt like a long moment, as if she still couldn’t hear him, couldn’t quite understand, as if still unsure of what to say… before she finally let out a quiet, seemingly calming breath.
“Did you… carry me out…?” 
“Well, yeah. As if I was going to leave you behind!”
Alastor was almost offended that his own mate even implied that he was going to ditch her just like that. That the idea had even crossed her mind… because even if she was an immortal goddess... she could have still gotten hurt. She’s immortal, not indestructible from what he knows.
Wait…
He furrowed his brows at her. “Winters, be honest. Did you seriously think I was going to leave you behind to burn?” 
“I…” she blinked, “No, but… it’s fine. I’m fine–”
How is this even fine?! Alastor angrily gritted his teeth at such an obvious lie. What does she take him for, an idiot?
“Like hell you are–!”
“I would have been fine,” Winters snapped, “I–”
“Are you being serious right now? YOU WERE JUST STANDING THERE!” Alastor finally pointed out, his voice an enraged roar, effectively making her mouth shut.
For a moment, Winters slowly looked up at him, really looked at him in the eye this time… before looking back to the burning forest over his shoulder and Alastor instantly felt guilty and so ashamed for blowing up and raising his voice at her, especially when his mate just had a panic attack not even five minutes ago.
“Winters, what’s going on?” he finally asked, calmly this time. 
And had he not been actually staring at her… had he not been looking so closely; Alastor was so sure he would have missed it.
A look had passed through her eyes—wide and unusually wild. It was a look of terror, of something darker and sad… something familiar. Winters had looked so lost and frightened, almost as much as she did that one time.
The face of someone haunted.
So, he did what he wished someone had done for him on the day he stumbled upon his father’s corpse as a child. On the night they declared his twin brother dead:
…help.
In any small way he can.
“Winters?” he prompted again.
For a second, he thought she’s not going to answer. That she’s going to dismiss him again, withdraw and curl in on herself like she usually does.
To his relief, she didn’t.
“I just remembered… what led me to… being this, is all.” Winters finally says, vaguely gesturing to herself, her voice sounding so quiet, so soft as she turns her head a touch to gaze at the smoke still rising, as if reaching for the blackened heavens above in search of salvation.
Winters slowly turned to face Alastor again.
“Come to think of it… it was also a fire that started it all. They… they burned our house down. My dad, he, um… h-he died trying to...”
And he finds himself holding her gaze.
Unlike before, Winters seems lucid now. Her eyes are calm and steady as it usually is, but Alastor cannot help but feel that there's something a little more in the way she's looking at him now. Something that swirls in the black of her eyes. Something a little sad.
“He would have been fond of you.”
Alastor was quiet for a moment before he carefully pulled Winters into his arms, tucking her head underneath his chin. Her body stiffened for a moment before she relaxed, leaning into his embrace.
“Winters. Listen to me,” he quietly murmured to her, ignoring a few passers-by that were glancing curiously at their direction, “I’m not gonna die or leave you behind and... and I’m never ever leaving you to face your problems on your own. You’re stuck with me, got it?”
“...okay.” Winters mumbled, nodding numbly. 
“Hm? Was I clear?” Alastor asked.
“Crystal.” 
Alastor hums, squeezing her a bit before leaning away to get a look at her, “…Wanna go get dinner now? We can grab some cupcakes on the way too. Or do you want some ice cream?”
A ghost of a smile glanced at her lips.
“Mm,” she nodded, grasping his hand, “Thank you, Alastor.”
His heart beats, loud and clear in his ears.
Every time he sees her smile, he always feels like privy to a special secret, something so impossibly rare and precious.
“You’re welcome.” Alastor told her, smiling softly.