Kierson drove to the boulevard where the abduction happened.
Nothing changed much, except for a building that was renovated due to the abduction incident. He could vividly remember how it became a wreck because of that incident.
Kierson understood his old friend’s behavior. He just couldn’t tolerate the pain.
He understood that everything is linked to him, that’s why people who were being deceived perceived that he was the root of all of their troubles.
Kierson looked at the place where the collision of their car and a truck happened. He remembered it all.
His body was covered with scars due to that incident. His hand almost couldn't recover from it as it was infected and was pierced with metal. The way he decided to tattoo his scars so he would never see them again and it wouldn't trigger his illness.
He remembered how he begged Red to just kill him so the pain would stop.
On the day of the abduction, he remembered the way he begged for them to let go of Derrick. The way he hoped that if he died, those people who had hatred for him would forgive him and would finally let go of their wrath towards him.
But they didn’t.
Instead, they planned to approach him only to be blamed again for everything, when in fact, he was one of the victims of all these crimes and trouble.
He was also a victim but why would they have to blame him for it?
Kierson chuckled humorlessly.
How many times did he almost die because of the attempted murder schemed by the adversarial side?
Two?
Three?
He almost died three times and they'd been killing him ever since almost every day.
Just like them, he suffered a lot too.
Seeing them again ruined the armor with thorns he built up for himself to protect his heart from people who only wished for his mischief and it made him realize how easy it was for them to enter his life and throw him out.
What did he do to deserve all of this?
Kierson stopped driving when he reached the cliff where he almost lost all of his hope.
The cliff where he confessed his undying love for the man who he could never have.
Remembering it all, he felt like throwing up as all the pain came back.
“So you do remember,” Vishnu stated.
Kierson was shocked to hear Vishnu’s voice but he didn’t look back.
Vishnu must have followed him all the way here.
“I made my investigator investigate this Jerson and they said he died on this cliff. I guess we do look like seeing you all thought that I am him,” Kierson declared.
Vishnu sighed. “Until when do you want to hide, Soviet Kierson Ferrer?”
Kierson laughed. “Hiding? If I were hiding, I would have never come back to the place where my grandfather died, Director. My life has been in constant danger because of my killers but I still come back to this country in order to investigate my grandfather's case. So… am I still hiding?”
Vishnu bit his lower lip. “I tried to save you, but I was too late,” Vishnu confessed. “When I saw you in the car, with your eyes losing all hope, I… I…” He gulped. “I regretted everything. For pushing you away from that night when you needed someone you could lean on. For not protecting you. Because… I thought… I thought you could manage to save yourself. I saw how strong you were and I thought… I thought it was okay to leave you and be with Derrick who, all his life, suffered from mischief. He needed me more than you did.”
Kierson chuckled.
Vishnu and all of his friends kept on choosing one person over him. Just how unimportant was he that they were able to put him aside just to choose one person at a time?
“I am not Jerson but I felt pity for that man," Kierson said. “He must have suffered a lot.” Kierson wore his helmet before looking back at Vishnu. “It looks like you never regret your decisions, Director and I adore you for that. But I hate the fact that someone died and you could face me, his look-alike, without guilt and I could never look at that kind of person ever again without disdain.”
Kierson started his engine and said again, “But I guess it's better that you never saved him on that day, Director. From the look of it, he must have loved you so much that he could never get angry at you. But saving him out of pity would be the most painful thing that he could ever experience. I wished our paths would never cross again. And I wish you well.”
Kierson left.
His heart was oozing in pain.
Vishnu tried to save him but it was never enough.
It would never be enough for someone as greedy as Kierson.
On top of it, Vishnu just tried but he never did it.
He must have felt pity for Kierson that in the end, he tried to save him but it didn't work out.
Saving him must have been out of whim when Vishnu heard him confess and just trying would never be enough for him.
His tangled and chaotic relationship with Vishnu would never be fixed.
Everything was just out of place. Everything was against him loving Vishnu. Everything was stopping him from being with Vishnu.
He fought a lot but now he's tired.
If they aren’t really meant to be, then he couldn’t do anything about it. He suffered a lot just by trying to be with someone’s lover.
Kierson pulled the accelerator to full speed.
He decided that from that night, he would never wish to be with Vishnu again, even if he still loves him so much.
Before it's too late, he would save himself from drowning in pain.
He would save himself again because no one would ever think of saving him.