"I have never thought of that, do you feel that way in your home?"
"No I don't, my tent is not complete, the top corner is lacking, the corner of leaving, the public and legal action of marriage, the wedding."
"If the top is lacking, then it must be raining into your tent."
"Yes, pastor, it is raining very hard, it is not cosy at all, who can help me to repair it?"
She could not hide the fact that she was sobbing.
"I would like to try if you will let me."
"But I left my parents and still I am not publicly married."
"Well your leaving was a different leaving than the bible talks about, there was not mutual and voluntary letting go between parents and child, which in the end binds them that much closer together, you left them out of contempt, and now they have left you in the lurch."
"But why doesn't my husband close the top tent?"
"Maybe it's because he knows you can not return to your parents."
"Well at least he doesn't treat me like a garden."
"What makes you so sure of that?"
"He doesn't want children."
 "Maybe he doesn't want you as vegetable garden, but as a flower garden, just for amusement in his free time."
"But he doesn't buy me, he didn't pay a bride price."
"He pays for your education though."
"Do you think it is another from of the bride price in order to make use independent?"
"I can not say before I talk to him, but it's possible."
"But I love him,"
"I know you do, otherwise you would not call me."
"And he loves me too , that is why he pays for my education,"
"I wish you were right, but why doesn't he not close the top of the tent and legalize your marriage?"
There was sobbing again.
Listen, can not you give me your number so that I can call him?"
"Never! He is coming now." she slammed down the receiver.
A tent! she must be a remarkable girl, a tent, marriage as a tent, I picked up my bible and turned to the concordance at the back, more than a hundred bible passages were listed under the word 'tent' , I looked up several of them, then turned to Jeremiah 10:20:
                   My tent is destroyed,
                         and all my cords are broken,
                     My children have gone from me,
                             and they are not,
                       there is no one to spread my tent.  
                          again,
                      .   and to set up my curtains.
 This was her verse , I thought, "No one spread my tent," if only I knew her name, telephone number! all I could do now was to use the power of these people who have no power and pray for her.
It was time for bed, as I took pyjamas out of my suitcase, note from my wife fell into my hands, I read it, "In love and oneness with you, Deine  Ingrid."
My tent, l thought my tent, then I fell asleep.
I woke up rather early, the next Monday and had a good breakfast in the hotel dining room, Daniel came Soon after I was back in my room.
He had  heard a lot of comments about my lecture.
"How did other people react?"
"In general very well, one of the oldest said to me: "When I first heard that he is going to speak about marriage in church, I thought he must be a wicked man , but now see that marriage may have some thing do with God."
"If I got the point across, that is already something?"
"You know what I was most happy about? there was a childless couple in church, they suffer a great deal, because they don't have children, but they love each other dearly and would not think of divorce, they deeply comforted that the triangle is complete with out a child."
"So the garden concept is very much alive among your people too?"
"Yes, very much so, it is what our people believe right down the line, also that the child grows out of the seed of the man, and that son are more precious than daughter and that the garden must be bought."
It was a pleasure to talk to Daniel, He had deep insights and I am sure he was the best interpreter, I could have ever wished for, through his I felt encouraged , he was a real brother.
"You know Daniel," I said,   "l have almost come to the conclusion that basically there are only two concept of marriage in the world, the garden concept and the biblical concept, the triangle of course there may be all kinds of variation and deviation."
Daniel thought for a moment, then he said:
"The "leaving" is the greatest problem here in our city, our marriages are "leaving sick" either our children leave with out their parents, consent or they don't leave at all, in both cases marriage get into trouble, our people can not see how you can leave and still remain united, or feel united and leave in spite of that."
"I don't think it can be explained, it is a paradox, the only way to illustrate it is through Christ , in his letter to the Ephesians, Paul says expressly, for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother.... I take it to mean Christ ... "
Christ left his father and still remained one with him, we have a hymn verse in German which translated goes like this:
                   "The son goes out from his father 
              and still he remains eternally at home."
"All right, but can you explain this to the people?"
" I will try," I said.   "But Daniel, may I ask you a question? What was w
the point last night that touched you most personally?"
He had his answer ready,    "In was being closest to each other, closer than anyone or anything else, for me it is very difficult to get my work as a pastor into balance with my marriage, I do not have enough time for my wife, my work come first and she comes second, when ever she complains that she can never count on me for meals, that is very true, and even during the meals time I have to get up three or four times when visitor come or the phone rings."