The Garden or the Triangle?
" There is another concept of marriage, it contradicts  the biblical concept of marriage which I have just described in every point, they concept of marriage is widespread, I have found it in many part of the world.
 "The garden concept of marriage as I like to call it, is based on a book called Marriage East and West by David and Vera  Mace, American marriage counsellors, who conducted a marriage seminar with twenty Asians in 1958 at Chiengmai,  Thailand.
  "The garden concept of marriage as the Maces describe it from China is based on an inaccurate biology, it conceives of the man as the sower of the seed and of woman as the soil, as the garden, Man plants his seed in the woman, the woman body nurtures the seed, just as the soil nurtures the grain of rice, just as the plant grows out of the grain, so the child grows out of the man seed , the child is the man child his ongoing spirit, continuing life.
  "I repeat: this inaccurate and bad biology, Yet the consequences of this garden way of thinking are tremendous, let me state them briefly:
"First of all: men are more important than woman, the woman can never be as important as the man any more than the soil can be as important as the seed, by her very nature she is secondary, auxiliary, this explains, as nothing else can do, the discrimination between man and woman, not only in Asia, but also in Europe and America even today, Whether it is in Africa, you have to decide for yourselves.
"Second: son are more important than the daughter, it is though son that the family can continued, a family who has no sons and whose line dies out is like a tree cut off from it roots, its ancestors wither and have no peace."
There was a movement among my  listeners as if they were deeply involved.
"Third: The relationship between husband and wife is the same as one between a possessor and his possession, just as the sower of seed own the soil into which he sows, the main duty of the woman is to obey, it is also the man privileges to choose, he chooses the garden he is going to buy, the garden has nothing to say, the standard of choice is the potential fertility of the garden.
"Fourth: Within the garden concept of thinking, a children marriage is as useless and senseless as a barren field, if a woman fails to bear children, she fails in her destiny.
"Fifth: The garden concept explains the practice of divorce and polygamy, if a man garden does not bear fruit, either he gives the garden back to its former possessor and ask the father of the girl to return the price he has paid for her, or he keeps the garden and acquires one or two other gardens , which may bear fruit , polygamy is  a understandable only within the garden concept, Further, man can have several garden, but a garden  can have only one owner.
 The woman in always at a disadvantage within the garden concept.
"Sixth: I have mentioned the customs of bride price, this custom is closely related to the garden concept, actually it is not the price for the garden, but for the fruits which the garden is going to produce, the name is misleading, it is not the price for the bride, but for the children she is supposed to bear.
That is why sometimes it is not paid in full until she gives birth to the first child, and then only if the child is a son.
A widow loses her children if she marries out side of her late husband clan which paid for  these children, they do not really belong to the windowed mother.
By the way, a widow is the most pitiful creature within the garden concept, she is a possessions which has lost its owner.
"Seventh: The garden concept explains too why a woman is more reproached for adultery than man, both are guilty, what happens if a man commits adultery? he sows his seed in a garden which does not belong to him, he does wrong to the owner of the other gardens and my have to pay him a fine if he is caught, but he is not considered as doing wrong to his own wife or violating his own marriage.
"If a wife commits adultery, however, she does the worst thing she can do to her husband, she allows foreign seed in his garden, she endangers the integrity of his family line, she violates her own marriage.
"Finally: there is no place whatsoever within the garden concept for the unmarried person, an unmarried girl is a garden which could not bear fruit, but which is not given to a sower, this does not make sense, but the most foolish thing one can think of is a bachelor, he is a sower of seed who does not purchased a garden in which to sow his seed, unthinkable!'.
A roar of laughter followed this last statement, o I saw Maurice, who had brought me to the church, beaming all over, while his friends slapped him on the shoulder.
"The biblical concept of marriage contradicts the garden concept in every single point.
"First of all, the bible does away with the inaccurate concept of reproduction, it is not out of the man seed that the child grows, but according to the bible and proven by modern science, husband and wife contribute equally to the creation of a new life, the child is not only the man child, but belong to both husband and wife.
Just as both have to leave their parents and both have to cleave for each other and both have to become one flesh, so the child belong to both husband and wife.
"The garden concept discriminates against women, the biblical concept conceives of the woman not as inferior being, but as the equal partner of her husband, not as object but a person in her own right.