”The garden concept invites multiple marriage, for it thinks of the woman as a property which can be augmented in number at will, the biblical concept aims toward monogamy.
"The choice is in between the garden and the triangle, do you consider your wife a garden or partner for whom you leave your parents, to whom you cleave and with whom you become one flesh?"
I paused, complete silence prevailed, many looked at my drawing of the triangle, and in their eyes I could read one great question, so I continued:
"There is one question left, where is the place of the child in our triangle? would some one like to the answer this question?"
Many hands went up, I pointed to a woman who was in her twenties, who had a child at her back, she gets up, she got up and came to the front and walked over to the blackboard, then with out hesitating, she pointed to the center of the triangle.
"Yes" I said, and I could sense a feeling of relief going through the audience, 
" The place of the child is in the centre of the triangle, it begins in the physical union of the father and mother, it is surrounded by the love and faithfulness of both parents, and it protected and sheltered by the legality of the marriage contract, this is the place of the child in the triangle of marriage, there alone is the atmosphere in which it can mature and be prepared for it own marriage later on,"
While The Audience were singing the closing hymn, I had a terrible feeling of defeat, they had been so slide toward the end, I could not resist trying to get an assuring word from Daniel.
"It was too long wasn't it?" I whispered to him.
"I don't think so, they listened very well."
"But they well so silent at the end."
"When they are moved, our people become more and more quiet."
But I was not sure whether he was just trying to be polite, so I asked him directly:
"What do you think about it? was it very bad?"
He gave me a knowing smile as if he was familiar with himself with the feeling I had and he said:
"Well, you took the bull by the horns."
"You don't think they were offended?"
"I don't think so, many things they would not have accepted coming from me, but they will from you, and even if they are offended, what does it matter? it was not your massage was it? You must greet the people now."
They filed by one by one, grasping my hand with both hands as it was their custom, Miriam was the last one who shook hands with me.
"May I introduce to you my fiance? this is Timothy."
A young man in a soldier uniform stepped forward to greet me, he was rather dark and although slightly shorter than Miriam, he had a strong muscular body.
"Thanks you very much for your massage, I would like to talk to you."
"Why don't you come back with me to the hotel?"
I walked with Miriam and Timothy to Maurice car.
"What do you think about the lecture? I asked Miriam.
"I got the massage all right, I think Timothy and I are having problem with the left side of the triangle the angle of cleaving, we don't know whether our cleaving is strong enough for leaving."
"All right, I said,    "Timothy and I we can work on that in our talk together," she seems to be happy.
Timothy and I got in to Maurice car, while we were driving back to the hotel, I said to Maurice with a smile:
"How is the sower with out garden?" 
"Thinking very hard," he said.  "It is so true what you said about widows _ a property with out a proprietor, exactly, that is why I have always felt and still feel that I have a duty toward my widowed mother, you see, it really was not possible for me to leave and that is why I am not yet cleaving."
"And you had no father to buy you a garden."
"No, I had to work for my education and take care of my mother at the same time, I still feel I should continue to support her, if you say that the first condition for marriage is to leave my mother, I am afraid I can never married."
"I said that,  "leaving" does not mean to leave in the lurch."
"Yes, I understood that, but how could this be put into practice? if I got married I would have to take my mother into my house, how would I leave her and and still have her live with me?"
"There is a difference,  if you stay at home and your wife has to move into your mother home, this usually leads to trouble, but if you move out first and start your own home, then you have actually "left" then if you offer your mother shelter in side your home, there is much less danger of friction."
We stopped at the front of my hotel.
"Well, Maurice said as Timothy and I got out of the car,   "all I would need then would be a girl."
"I thought you had one."
"You mean the one I talk to between the two bus stop every day? I do not know, after your lectures, I have doubts whether she would be the one with whom I could become "one flesh" as you interpreted it sharing everything."
"If you are eighteen years older, she will be your daughter, you would be tempted to treat her like that, in the best case, she would be obedient garden not a partner."
Maurice laughed.  "I think this is why Africa men like to marry young girls, they prefer to have obedient garden, the trouble is, pastor, I don't know how to make the right approach to a girl, how to talk to her."