Party tonight. After almost a year, I no longer come to events like this. This time it really felt foreign as if it was the first time. There were a lot of people who came and apparently they looked much better than me. I only saw them from a distance and didn't dare to come closer to make small talk. At that moment, I felt that now things are really very different. When I try to enjoy tonight, it feels useless. I had forgotten many things after being in that place for a year and this was a time when I had to repeat what I had done before. My name is Helene. I'm often in crowded places and people always look at me with attentive eyes. Their gazes seemed to show extraordinary admiration even when I was on stage. Since I was little, I often danced ballet and I still do it now. However, after the events of that day, everything started to close in on me and set boundaries. Not only that, I couldn't see the beautiful world for some time until finally I was able to stand at this party even though it still felt strange. I took another sip of my drink and then looked around at the people who were enjoying this party. I felt something very different and I felt that they were ignoring me. At that time I was fed up with some people who even came just to be noisy and after that people really didn't care about those people. After almost an hour, I saw something else again and apparently this time I saw someone who looked shining. That person showed himself gracefully and it turned out that I was truly fascinated by the arrival of this person who was none other than a senior ballet dancer named Rivana. Everyone also admired that person and not long after that I decided to go to the toilet for a while. I don't know why my chest feels tight. After that I tried to calm myself down and it turned out that this time I really couldn't anymore. I felt unable to continue this party and then I intended to just leave. Meanwhile, Rivana was seen seeing Helene in a hurry to leave the party and after that this person ignored her again. The taste cannot be expressed in words. After leaving the building and now in the taxi, I felt much better. To think that something like this could happen to me and then I was a little upset.
“Ah, damn,” I muttered.
Arriving right in front of my apartment building, at this time I started walking and then entered this building. It felt like my head was about to explode and after that I felt annoyed with myself again. Why does all this happen and it always sucks? As soon as I arrived right in front of my bedroom door, I opened the door quickly and at that moment all that was on my mind was feelings of regret. After that I took the beer that was in the refrigerator and then drank it. This misfortune must be eliminated immediately. That's what's currently on my mind. Not long after, I heard the doorbell and I quickly checked it. Apparently there were guests coming. That person is my good friend Natalia.
“Wow, what's with that costume? Are you out of the party?" asked Natalia with a face that looked very surprised.
"Yes. You can see for yourself."
“Wait, what did you come to an event like that for?”
“Just coming as a guest and I'm not ruining the show at all. You don't have to be so anxious.”
"That is not what I mean."
“Then what do you mean?”
“That's because you shouldn't stay indoors and not go to any events before the situation returns to normal? Don't tell me you ignored the ban and just went out alone?”
"That's right. I came there alone on purpose and do you know what I saw there?"
"What do you see?"
“I saw that woman coming too.”
"What? Who?"
"Who else if not Rivana."
"Good grief. It turns out that person was also invited to the party? How?"
"What do you mean by that?"
“You talked to that guy? or something like that? Maybe even just for small talk? Did you do it?”
"Absolutely not."
"What? Seriously?" Did I hear that correctly?"
“Your hearing is fine. You heard right. "That's because suddenly my chest was tight and I couldn't hold it in until I went to the toilet and it was still going on like that so I decided to just go home."
“Ah, it turns out that's how it is. That's enough."
I always feel alert that something might happen to me. That's why when I'm in such a dire situation I can immediately take action. There are many things I have learned during this time and one of them is how to protect myself in an emergency. It turns out that information like that is also quite useful at important times. This time I was a little tired and after starting to tell Natalia about it, it felt like my mind quickly calmed down unlike what I had felt before. It's been a long time since I've reintegrated into the outside world and now I really miss the days when it all happened. I hope my life this time is much more interesting and always under the light. Since I was little, I have always hoped that maybe I was a princess from a fairy tale and would always be happy at all times. Even to this day, I still remember that kind of imagination and sometimes when I remember it, I immediately wonder why I thought that way. Natalia was seen bringing food and we enjoyed the food while watching television programs. It's true, so far there are so many popular people and they are always at the top.
“Look, just now we were talking about that person and now the news about that person has been discussed on television. "It turns out being popular is like that," said Natalia.
"You are right. it sure feels annoying.”
"Hah? Why do you think that? In fact, by being famous, you can get everything and they also offer you lots of sponsorships. For example, advertisements or even films.”
“I'm not talking about profits. But it's the other way around.”
"What?"
“Even though sometimes I also feel like I really want to get that kind of attention, I just feel like there will definitely be consequences behind it. That's why I thought again before going any further. Do you understand what I mean?”
"Of course I understand."
“On the contrary, if it were all to his advantage, I don't think anyone would have any regrets. Isn't there a world like that?”
"No such thing. This world is cruel. Even if you don't want to feel cruelty, you should never take risky steps. Although there are also those who try to avoid this risk and it turns out the results are the same. Damn it."
"Yes. I know that too. That's why there are several things that should be considered first before starting. Oh yeah, by the way I've never heard from Owen at all. Where is that person?”
"Don't know. Looks like he's busy with personal matters."
"But it's strange that until now there's still no news."
As time goes on, more and more things are questioned. I feel like it's possible that what other people have done until now hasn't been discovered because they deliberately didn't tell the public. At that moment, I thought about something that had been bothering me for a long time. Most likely the person did it on purpose because he had something to do and after that there was no need to tell anyone. Similar to me at that time and this time I was also surprised by such a big possibility. It felt as if I was in the middle of a vast ocean and hoped that something would come. Natalia kept talking about Rivana and seemed to feel deep curiosity about that person. Based on some information, some say that this person is quite mysterious and often makes other people misunderstand him. Such news appeared again and then shocked everyone. Now I'm starting to understand why popular people are always in more dire situations than ordinary people. Natalia also told me a lot apparently. Once again, this person seems truly amazing and I also admit that. However, from the other side I am a little curious about one thing. I slowly tried to forget it and then calmed down again. On the other hand, I'm a little curious about one thing. I slowly tried to forget it and then calmed down again. On the other hand, I'm a little curious about one thing. I slowly tried to forget it and then calmed down again.
"Is something bothering you?" Natalia asked me.
“I think I just remembered something.”
“Does that bother you?”
"Yes. A little."
"Just forget it."
"What?"
“There's no point in holding on to memories that don't make you comfortable. It will only burden you. I guess it's normal to be forgotten too. You won't regret it.”
"Yes. Looks like I should forget about that. Oh yeah, there's one place I want to go later.”
"When?"
"Maybe tomorrow or the next day."
“Oh, okay. I'll come with you. I think it's good to go outside and not stay stuck in the apartment.”
“That's what I thought so far.”
“I think you should start going outside more often.”
This time I also agree with Natalia's words. Everything I have to do is what I should do. I can't hinder myself and that will only bring regret and even hurt. Meanwhile, right now it's right where the party is. Rivana was seen together with several other people and from the look on Rivana's face it seemed like she was really fed up. Not only that, people started asking things and not long after, Rivana said goodbye to them and left the event. Another woman saw Rivana leaving with a man and then the woman began to show an expression that looked suspicious. After peeking, the woman then went to the party hall.
'I think I saw someone earlier, no. I don't care,' muttered Rivana to herself.