After everything has happened. There are some people who think that there is something wrong with all this. They seemed to be protesting and rejecting the facts that had happened. At the same time, there were also many people who said they were very disappointed with this incident. All eyes witnessed different things and now everything looks chaotic. Many people had gathered and they then asked the same thing to one of the people who was thought to be close to Rivana. That person was none other than the same man who at the funeral looked like he was a family member. Some reporters also think so and they still keep asking lots of questions. Elsewhere, I'm still in the training room and now I'm starting to feel tired. I've been practicing here for about three hours and now it feels very quiet. Previously, I often ran into Rivana when I was here, but now I don't see her. Time is too cruel. I am starting to adapt again to the world I left behind, now I feel a little used to it. Not only that, I also think that if I could go back, I would just want to start with what I want. There's nothing else apart from that. I don't know why this time I felt a little hesitant. There are many people who offer cooperation and even I will also benefit. It's just that I don't feel comfortable accepting it and maybe there are some things they really want. My mind is unclean again and now I feel the same frustration. Even though I think about it, there are some things I really should try. Everything wasn't too bad and right now I just feel something is stuck inside me. The memory of that day is still there and I can't forget it easily. This was the first time I fell and I couldn't do much after that. Time keeps running. I'm the only one who is still trying hard but there are no clear results. I feel a difference in me which is now very strange. When everyone is at the top and there is only me at the bottom. My head felt like it was going to explode again. I've done a lot and I'm still the same. Even though there are some things that feel easy, to be honest I feel uncomfortable because only other people can do things like that. I really can't do it myself. This time I heard the sound of someone entering this room and it turned out that person was the trainer.
"You're still here apparently."
“Ah, right. I think I should practice some more.”
“Don't push yourself too hard. You have to take care of your health. That's quite important. Oh yes, maybe you yourself have heard the news."
"Yes. I already know the news. I even came to the funeral."
"It is deeply regretted. Even though the woman was very talented. No one is the same as that person except you.”
"What?"
“I admit to myself that that is a fact. Only I know. But everyone has now lost their way to stargazing. Now I think my chance has come.”
"I don't understand what you mean. But I don't want to have to take advantage of the situation."
"Why do you say that?"
“That's clear. I don't want to do something crazy like that. Even though I have fallen, I don't want to get up in an unfair way. This is my decision."
"Okay. I understand. I also can't force you if you don't want to. It's just that I gave the perfect advice in the current situation. If you don't want to take it, that's fine too. The important thing is that I told you. That's at least what I should do as a coach.”
“What you say is true. I don't think I could if I had to."
"Yes. Just do what you want.”
I'm arguing with this guy again. I feel like I don't want this to happen. But I myself am the one who even vehemently opposes it. Some things that have passed, are now passing quickly. I'm faced with a very difficult choice. Get up and return to being myself or just stay silent like a loser. I think all of this just came out of nowhere and I myself couldn't face it even for a moment. At the same time, I wanted to say the same thing to myself. This time I was truly in the midst of endless despair.
'Unlucky. Why did it turn out like this?' I muttered to myself.
Once I'm done with my training, this time I intend to calm down. The weather at night is so cool. I realized this was an opportunity for me to calm down. In peace, I looked in a different direction. I also realized that there were many things that I had wanted to do for a long time. I feel unfair with what I currently have. Even though I felt happy, it turned out to be only momentary. After that, I returned to a world full of wounds like this. I can't forget everything alone and it turns out it's true. After arriving at the bar, I entered and then I saw Natalia who was waving at me.
“Hey. Here," said Natalia.
"Wow, I didn't expect to meet you here."
"Of course. I already knew you would come even though I didn't invite you. How? Are you still frustrated?”
"Your speech is so annoying."
“Eh?”
"Just so you know, now I have a new problem."
"What? how could that be?"
“Earlier at the training ground it turned out that the coach came and saw me practicing. I accidentally said what was in my head at that time. I think what he suggested makes sense, but of course I don't want to be a coward who just takes advantage of other people's situations that no longer exist."
“Okay, I understand what you mean. That's tough.”
Natalia also said some things that were almost the same as me. This time I was really annoyed and confused. At times like this, I feel a lot of pressure. I'm almost fed up with all this and now I have to come again. I quickly took a sip of the drink I previously ordered and now I started to feel a little relieved. Natalia then told me something. I was quickly shocked when I heard what Natalia had just said. I think now I'm starting to understand this annoying situation. Slowly I tried to calm myself down again and apparently I got carried away.
“I think I've gone crazy.”
"What do you mean? Don't talk carelessly."