When everything becomes a big problem, now I can only see with my eyes. Every second nothing looks fun. From here I see lots of people who are just like me. I also felt something strange which was enough to give me goosebumps. If you look closely, there's nothing special. This time I walked around where I live and tried to calm myself. A moment earlier I felt like I had a lot on my mind and couldn't get it out of my head. Not only that, I also noticed something strange about me. It feels like I can't run. But why should I run away? My views are slowly starting to change as time goes by, I hope that the bad things are enough and there is no need to be in my life anymore. I feel uncomfortable with that even now. Slowly I also felt sick and it turned out it kept coming. Again, I'm not comfortable with myself. I could only imagine there was something different and it turned out there was nothing different at all. Once again I felt disappointed by this and slowly became more and more annoyed. For a long time, I imagined myself returning and being much different from now. Turns out it was just my momentary thought. I can't see what's there right now. Everything seems to be closed tightly and I hate to admit that. I've wanted to get away from my life of looking like a doll for a long time. I'm starting to get annoyed and can hardly find happiness in my life this time. My eyes are tired of seeing an unfair world. Everyone becomes a criminal. No good fortune came to me. The view this morning was enough to make my head start to spin. Now I feel something is different. Immediately I was curious about some of the rumors that were currently circulating and becoming trending topics. I also remember that woman. It feels like just yesterday that person left this world. The fans who were usually always on that person's side, now they weren't there. I felt surprised by a scene like this as if it had never existed. I also don't know what they think anymore. When someone is gone, apparently they easily forget and almost never care anymore. Even now I realize that if that happened to me, I don't think they would be much different from what is happening now. My eyes felt clear when I saw the atmosphere this morning in this place. I feel a little better now than before.
"It turns out it's all the same," I muttered.
There are already many people waiting. They seemed to be really looking forward to something. I also can't guess their thoughts this time. I hope everything is fine and nothing strange. This time I also felt confused about everything that existed. I feel strange if I suddenly forget and don't remember anything. I can't imagine with my own head that that would actually happen. Everything related to ballet dancers immediately became a topic of conversation. Now I hear some women talking about it.
'They're saying the same thing again,' I muttered to myself.
Until now, they are still talking about Rivana. There is no one who never talks about that person even when they are no longer there, they are still the same. This time, everything became clearer. At the same time, there are also several things that people who know Rivana are afraid of. The man came to the funeral with a lost face. At that time, Natalia saw the person accidentally. After looking at it several times, it turned out that the person was quite suspicious. His movements seemed to show that something was up. Until now, Natalia is still thinking about this and finding out more and more. When everything was just curiosity, at that moment Natalia felt a little strange and wanted to end it all. However, slowly it cannot be avoided and is even very difficult. A lot of time has passed and I just remember things like that without thinking about anything else. Natalia left home and is now on her way to work. When they saw several people discussing the Rivana case, apparently they mentioned the name of one of the women who was thought to be a close friend of the woman. Natalia suddenly felt curious about what the person was saying and for a moment tried to think and connect all this puzzle. As soon as she arrived at one of the places Natalia wanted to visit, she started walking and suddenly found something. This time Natalia's face looked happy because she met an old friend. That person was none other than a woman named Olivier and was a painting artist. The gallery where all the works of art created by Olivier are exhibited is in this place. Natalia then greeted each other and after that the two of them chatted. It had been a long time since Natalia had seen her old friend and now was an unbelievable opportunity. Natalia still didn't expect to meet Olivier here. The two of them look so familiar.
"Wow, it's been a long time since we met," said Natalia.
"Yes. You are right. The last time we met was before graduation, right? I forget."
"Yes. I still remember that day was the last time we met and talked about many things. By the way, how are you now?"
"Yes, I am doing okay. How about you?"
“I think I'm the same.”
“Then, what about your job now? Are you still joining there?"
“Ah, that's right. I was going to the office but he said there was no need so I just came here."
“Wow. It turns out there is also a working system like that. I think it's still like the old days."
“You are so strange. Of course it's different."
Currently, the two of them are still happily talking to each other. This gallery is always filled with many visitors, even now many people come here. Natalia feels happy and now many things have changed. Not like it used to. Meanwhile, now I'm still at home and trying to keep myself busy. There wasn't much I could do other than practice to prepare for the show. My chest feels tight. There was more pressure coming this time. I can't wait for the day of the show. It feels like I will return to life as myself who has been asleep for a long time.
"Good grief. I'm thinking too much," I muttered.