It felt like I had been hit by a rock. Many eyes look fake. They seemed to close their eyes to the right thing and not long afterward only showed a different figure. I saw this a long time ago and now I'm not even surprised by this. Maybe at first I would curse them. However, as time goes by I think there's no point in me doing that kind of thing. It would just be a waste of my time. It's been one week since Rivana's death and now I intend to go to the funeral to give flowers. On the way, I felt a little empty and as if something was blocking me. My chest is almost tight. This is not like me usually. I also don't understand a situation like this and can only wonder in my heart. If there are some things that make me uncomfortable, I always assume that it will only last for a while and I don't need to worry. I am in the morning sun. When I arrived at the location, this was the first time I came to meet Rivana with feelings like this. I also didn't expect it to end so tragically. When I was standing looking at Rivana's grave, strangely it always occurred to me who did this. I almost cried and not long after this I immediately left. Such a beautiful day. I feel warm. When I took a short walk around the city park, my mind suddenly felt calm. I feel like if there were a lot of people out there who might be in a terrible situation and they could calm themselves down by cheering themselves up like this, I think it would be fun for them. I always think about other people. Even though they don't necessarily think about me. This is ridiculous. Apart from that, I also always feel like something is missing. I don't know what's blocking it, it's like there's something blocking it, but I can't find what it is.
"Oh, you," said someone behind me and I quickly turned around.
“Owen?”
“Ah, I didn't expect to see you again.”
"Yes. I didn't expect it either. Are you on a walk? Oh, that's your cat?”
"Yes. As you can see. That's right, today I brought hubi on purpose.”
“Hubby? Is that your cat's name?”
"Correct. Does that sound bad?”
"Not really. That's a cute name. The cat is cute too.”
“Wow, I guess hubi should say thank you.”
“That's just ridiculous.”
"By the way, what are you doing here? From your appearance it doesn't look like you're exercising."
"Ah, I just came from somewhere. It just so happened that I was bored and just came here.”
“I see.”
I honestly can't say honestly what I did. I feel bad if I tell people this so easily. When I feel like I'm down because of that woman, it would be strange if I went to a funeral that wouldn't make me feel happy at all. Maybe that's what would cross Owen's mind. Seeing this person who seemed like there was nothing suspicious, I actually restrained myself a bit from keeping my distance. It feels like there is something dangerous about this person even though his appearance is not scary at all and actually looks like an idol. It's strange that I immediately suspected him like this.
"Looks like I have to go," I said with a smile.
"Well, then see you later."
"Yes."
I should come back with myself who is very different from before. But I'm not like that at all. This time there were a few things that felt quite annoying. I feel like this isn't enough for myself. Some even made me feel uncomfortable. I've felt like this has been bothering me for a long time. I want everything to just disappear like dust. But in reality, it still exists. What has been making me suffer all this time is quite close and very difficult to eradicate. Sometimes I just look at the sky with empty eyes. After I left Owen, this time my footsteps headed towards a shopping place. I entered the shop and immediately I saw lots of jewelry and even lots of cute things. Not a few people fill this place. I'm not used to coming to places like this, feeling a little strange. I was also confused as to why suddenly my footsteps were heading this way and I didn't understand either. When I find a cute object, I keep looking at it and then remember a memory from the past that feels vague. In an instant I put the object back down and then moved in the other direction. Honestly, I felt like something was bothering me. After I finished looking and just bought a bracelet, it was ridiculous. Now I'm walking again and I'm starting to feel used to crowds like this. I casually hope that every day is always enjoyable. There is only happiness. But, apparently that was just a hope. When I was in the practice room and saw them all, with confused faces as if asking for help. I, who had just arrived, was of course very surprised by a scene like this. There were some people who cried. I couldn't say a word and immediately approached them. After trying to calm them down, I dared to go straight to the coach and ask about this.
"What really happened? Why are they like that?”
“It's quite difficult.”
“What do you mean by quite difficult? Tell me."
“You also probably won't be able to handle a chaotic situation like this. So I don't intend to involve you now.”
"What? Why do you say that? Even though I am also part of you. I'm officially back and joining you again. What the hell?”
“Calm down. Now is not the time for disagreements. So you'd better be calm."
“How could I possibly be calm. When I saw them in chaos, I couldn't just keep quiet either. Don't tell me this is because of someone's interference?”
"What are you saying?"
Even though I tried to ask calmly, that wasn't the case. Apparently there is a problem that is currently making everything chaotic. My very late arrival made the situation even more difficult. I was almost frustrated because no one had told me about this. Even though I tried to force it to talk to me, it didn't work. Instantly I could only stand still and look at this unpleasant sight. The coach is also still stubborn. There's nothing I can do. I came back empty handed and didn't do anything. Someone then approached me and after that tried to get me to talk. I feel a little hope.
“Don't feel too burdened. This is not your fault."
"What? Why do you say that?”
"Just according to the facts. So don't blame yourself too much. It's all because of that person."
"That person?"
"Yes. The man who came here has offered benefits. "I also can't understand why at times like this that person appears and causes trouble."
"I don't know who the man you mean is."
"What is clear is that this person was close to Rivana."
"What are you saying?"
"Do you know?"
"No. I've only heard about it from my friends.”
"Be careful when you meet that person."
"Yes. I think I agree with what you said."
'Unlucky. But why did that person come here? It's impossible just to offer something,' I muttered to myself.
Actually, I myself am still afraid to face dangerous people. Even though I had seen the person at a glance, I myself felt that something was quite suspicious. For someone with such a big position, why would he look for me and then mess up this place. I myself am still curious about Rivana and now I have added something new. After I came home from training and the sun was almost setting, now my heartbeat was slowly different from before. I feel like I'm worrying about terrible things. Today is really annoying.