I was gonna die...
And just like in a movie, the moment I closed my eyes with tears falling from them, flashbacks of bad and good memories with my family came across my mind and replayed.
"Mom, can you join me, this Saturday? I'll go shopping for my next play," I asked joyfully to my mother who was busy typing something on her laptop.
She glared at me. "Can't you see?! I'm busy! Go shop with Ms. Sena instead and get out now!"
"O-Okay, Mom. Sorry..."
***
"What's with your face, Dilly?" My brother asked while chuckling softly, one morning when he saw me sitting in the garden. He even sat down beside me and tapped my shoulder gently.
I shoved it off out of irritation and glared at him. "Don't piss me off. I'm not in the mood to joke with you."
"Why? What's wrong?" I just looked away and didn't answer. He sighed. "Did Mom scold you again?" he asked with his very soothing and gentle voice that made my heart soften a bit. Still, I didn't answer. "I'll go talk to her if you want."
Even how much I wanted him to protect me, knowing Mom, she would just scold him, too, for taking my sides all the time. I stood up angrily and glared at him to cover up my real emotions. "Why do you care?!" I held my tears back which were starting to build up in my eyes when I saw how shocked he was.
"Why would I not? I'm your brother..." He sighed and stood up too before putting his arms around my shoulder. My body weakened at how warm his body is, enough to melt my heart. A tear fell from my eyes. "Let's go. I'll treat you somewhere."
***
"M-Mom, I'm sorry, I failed the exam..."
My voice cracked and my legs wobbled that my knees fell to the ground. Tears started falling and I quickly wiped them off, scared that she might be pissed off more.
"What?!" She turned her body around to see me and grabbed me by my collar, making me stand up. She slapped my face once and let my body fall.
"Mom!" My brother immediately stood up between us when he saw me. He was still wearing his uniform and had just gotten home from school and this was the first thing he saw.
"Get off, son. I'll teach that failure a lesson!" she shouted and tried to reach me but my brother held her in place. I looked down and bit my lip to hold back my tears. "You knew I'm the one who'll get humiliated with that stupid brain of yours and not you! Did you plan this? Huh?! Answer me, Beverly!" I shook my head a few times. "You're lying! Is this your revenge?! Huh—?!"
"Mom, stop it now!"
My eyes widened when I heard my brother shout at Mom for the first time. My Mom's lips parted and pointed her finger at him. "You... You shouted at me, son? How dare you! I'm teaching this brat a lesson and you're shouting at me?!"
"I—I'm sorry, Mom, but... this isn't right... You talk to her calmly but not like this. Or if you want, I'll go teach her instead—"
"I'm the mother here so I'll be the one who must be obeyed! Don't you dare say one more word and go upstairs? Now!" She pointed to the stairs and my brother was still hesitating when he looked at me. I just looked down and pinched my own hands.
Then I heard him going upstairs and as he step up, my heart was aching so bad.
***
I was expecting a painful death...
But it didn't come.
I was even too scared to open my eyes to see the truth, so I remained to shut them. Because somehow... I want to see my brother now. And God knows how much I miss him. How much I want to finally say the things I never had a chance to say to him when he was still here, in the land where he left me.
But also, at some point, I'm thankful that it didn't come. That I'm still alive. 'Cause I want to say goodbye to them, at least.
Even if it hurts. Even if it means ripping out the wound that hasn't yet healed, again. They're still my parents, aren't they? They're still the reason why I found goodness from being alive in this not-so-perfect land. They're still one of those reasons why I kept this life—why I'm still keeping this life. 'Cause I know—well, I hope so—that they still love me as their child. After all, I am only all they have now. The same way with me.
But when I heard the voice of someone who became one of the reasons why I chose to stay here, I opened my teary eyes and weakly asked for a hug.
He immediately wrapped his arms around my body and helped me sit carefully when he finally get Shirley out on top of my body. She was stunned and couldn't even say anything.
I heard Henry say something to her but I couldn't understand it carefully because of my cries. Not long enough, my eyes started to weaken and the next thing I knew, I already lost my consciousness.