The morning wasn't so bright as the sky mourns the passing of another day that the people of Pililia can not afford to do things by themselves. And among the people of Pililia, I have considered myself one of them.
Aron woke up early to fetch the materials needed for the farming that was set to start today.
I grabbed the abaca hat and settled it on my head before going out.
The moment I settled my feet outside the door—a girl, half my height, handed me a bilao full of seed.
"Kuya Aron said you know how to garden." She said, smiling before walking away.
I smiled while I watched the girl walk away. She walks while slightly jumping in joy.
I should ask the reason for her joy, but instead, I am just happy to see her small gesture of joy even in the situation we are in.
"Beautiful, right?" Carme walked extra fast to catch up with me. "To see children smiling?"
I nodded. "At least, they can still feel a little bit of their childhood despite the situation we are in."
We talked about our childhood as we walked towards the farm.
Carmela had a pretty rough childhood. Her father is an alcoholic who, in no heartbeat, beats up her mom every chance he gets. Her mom passed away when she was 12 and that forced her to grow up. With no one to beat up, her dad started to beat her up at the age of 13. Then, she moved out at the age of 15 and was forced to grow up on her own.
She moved three times before finding comfort here in Pililia.
"Your papa is an asshole." She commented after I talked about my Dad.
I shrugged. "Well, he is. But I don't want to forget about the comfort he had given us."
"You still love him? Your Papa?"
I nodded. "I don't understand why I still love him, but yes, I love my papa." I have no idea why I said that, but the words just came out of my mouth.
Do I still love Papa? After everything he made me go through?
Maybe the four-year-old, happy, cheerful little girl who giggles easily at her father's jokes, was the one who answered.
"Good morning, Antonia." I was confused how this old man in front of me knew my name. He's one of Pililia's.
"G-good morning, sir." I responded.
"Aron's already started working in the field. He's waiting for you." He pointed me to the field.
I said my thanks to the kind man who introduced himself as Mang. No direct name, just 'Mang'.
As soon as I got on the field, I started the task I was given. Aron is not here anymore. I bet he was given a different task.
Everyone's working attentively as the guards kept their presence known in the field. Some of them are giving orders, while some of them threaten us with their eyes.
Half an hour of working in the field felt like half a day. The sun's heat grew as the afternoon came to a close. It started to sting my skin.
"Are you okay?" Carme approached me with a worried look.
"Yes. Obviously, this is not as easy as the gardening I used to do in Tanao, but I think I'm getting the hang of it."
"Well, that's not what I'm talking about. You are red as a tomato."
Yes. I'm aware that I am as red as a tomato. Papa hated it when this happened. That's why he never let me go out at noon.
"It will fade. I'm finished anyways. "
"I could finish it for you." She offered.
"I'm good, Carme. I see that you're about to finish. How about we wait for each other and eat together afterwards? " I offered.
She smiled at the idea, but before she could answer, a guard approached us and shouted, "Stop talking and do your damn job!"
I could tell that Carme was pretty startled, so I held her hands. When I was about to burst and scold the guard, I remembered the consequences that would befall me if I stood against him. I might be a coward for keeping it in, but I have to remember that we barely have anything to eat for too much time on labor.
And all I can do is stare at him, not hiding the anger in my eyes.
The guard did not want to be beaten. He stared at me from head to toe and pushed me down.
"If you are going to stare at me, lady, make sure it is with admiration. As if I'm his left hand." He pointed his fingers up. "These damn ladies."
I stayed on the ground for a few minutes. I can barely hear what Carme is saying, but she's pushing me up.
How do these people get so cruel? How did they go from someone with a sense of humanity to someone with no morale? Why does it feel like this world is getting worse day by day?
"Get up, Antonia. The Commander's staring at you." Carme said.
"Stand up. It is the commander. " Mang approached and helped me get up. My knees were wobbly, but I managed to stand firm.
It seems like I am in a staring battle with the commander when he does not stop staring at me. I would have been clever and accepted the battle if Aron hadn't come rushing towards me.
"What happened?" I could tell that he had run a distance as he puffed and his chest moved up and down.
"I don't know why he did that. We were just talking." I defended myself.
"I thought I told you that this field is only meant for working? Nothing else."
"We did not even talk that long."
"Do you think they care about the length of your conversation? They don't, Antonia. They care about labor and slavery. "
I could hear a tone of anger in the way he talked. He must be worried that it could have been a lot worse than the couple bruises I have on both knees. I can not blame him for acting this way.
Before Aron carried me on the way home, I went for a last glimpse of the commander. There he is, whispering something to one of his men while staring at me.
I wonder what that could be.