My eyes slowly opened, adjusting to the light of the room I was in. I carefully scanned around the room, to see whose room it was. The room was vacant fine, but as I set my eyes on the comforter that was on me, I flinched. I was in Jeremy's room. I was in his house.
The door opened and I eagerly waited to see his face.
"I can see you are awake."
"Jer... What day is it?" I said instead as I quickly took my eyes off his. I couldn't look at him.
"Are you okay?" He came over with a smile and sat on the bed.
"What day is it?"
"Sunday," he said and I couldn't help but love his new curly haircut.
"Geez!" I got out of bed but Jeremy quickly locked the door and put the key in his pocket.
No, I don't want to do this anymore, not with Henry.
"Where do you think you are going?"
"I have to call my Mum." God, I hadn't been able to speak with her even though she had a lot of questions to ask me. She was just patiently waiting for me to come around. But would that even be possible? Would I be able to see her again? Henry wouldn't let me go and surely he was going to kill me.
"I already knew she was going to be worried so I figured out to call her that you were with me last night."
"Or you kidnapped me, injected me and brought me to your house! "
"No, I didn't kidnap you, I brought you here."
“What's the difference? You brought me here against my will! Without my permission!" I felt angry Henry was making this whole thing look like it was normal which wasn't.
"You need to chill."
"I can't. I want to leave here," I said as I walked to the door and started pulling the doorknob.
"In case you forgot, I have the key here in my pocket."
"I didn't. I'm trying to break the door open."
"I brought you here so we can talk, Tosin."
The sound of my name from his mouth made me realise how much I missed hearing my name from his mouth. Especially with the way he pronounced it. "And what do we have to discuss?"
"Us. You ran... You disappeared away from me! No traces and I couldn't even find you. Why? What's wrong? Why are you running from me?"
I snorted. This guy was playing dumb with me and I didn't have the patience for it. "Why? Why? Because my life matters! And everything was too much for me to take in. Bisola is dead and so..."
"Wait, wait, Bisola is dead? You mean your best friend? How?"
I swallowed in the anger I was fuming and I just wanted to burst out. "Jeremy, I'm not a fool, okay?"
"What are you talking about?" He frowned as if he was ignorant of it all.
"Stop this bullshit!" I shouted and faced him. "You used me!" I was on the verge of crying. How could he?
"I didn't. I love you, Tosin. And I wouldn't do anything to hurt you." He tried to touch me, still faking ignorance.
"Don't you touch me! You used me! Or do you think I don't know you are Henry? The same Henry who was my boss and my boyfriend! How unbelievable!" If he was still good at faking his personality, then, I was going to tell him I knew who he was. "I'm so marvelled by your acting. How you managed to switch roles between Henry and Jeremy is incredible. You deserve an award for it, you imbecile!"
Henry's eyes batted before they held mine. He was clearly shocked but he quickly pretended he didn't understand what I was saying. He was acting innocent. "What are you talking..."
"Or do you think I wouldn't know that my 'boss' had been screwing me while giving me assignments, especially the one to kill my uncle?”
Something sparked in Henry's eyes and he flared up. "Now don't you f...king say that!" he boomed and frowned. His eyes sparkled with anger as he pointed his finger at me.
"No, I will!" I slapped his hand away. "You still slept with me after I killed my uncle. One time you are scolding me in your mansion and next you are comforting me in your arms. You are a devil and an Angel at the same time. You are heartless, Henry. So cruel and selfish."
"How did you know?"
"Mrs Lizzy didn't tell you? I went into the house you forbid and I saw you take off the mask. Henry, why?"
“You shouldn't have disobeyed! And that's the problem with you. I told you not to disclose any of this to anyone but you did. You told Jeremy!"
"And who was Jeremy? Wasn't it you? I did that because I loved you."
"That was dumb because I could have gotten rid of you after everything you told me."
"But you didn't."
"Because I love you."
"No, because you enjoyed using me! Let me out of this house now before I scream."
"What about you, huh? You run away and next, you are pregnant, what work did you do over there? Who did you meet up with? What business did you get yourself into?"
I presumed what Henry was insinuating, so I decided to say what he wanted to hear. "Oh, I was working as a slut and accidentally, I got pregnant, satisfied?"
"I can't believe you would go..."
"Asshole, this baby I'm carrying is yours, take it or leave it."
"Leave it, I know you are joking."
“I'm not Henry. I was pregnant before I flew to the US. I didn't know I was carrying your baby. How the fight on the battlefield didn't cause me to lose it, I don't know."
"So you're saying this baby is mine?"
I didn't know what to say because Henry suddenly became sober and all his anger vanished into thin air.
"Yeah but I don't want a gangster to be my baby's father."
"But I got rid of the Scorpion Group!"
"That isn't enough! I can't sleep! I got to kill my uncle because of what you assigned to me! Did you intentionally give the mission to me when I told you about my Uncle and how he treated me and my Mum? Did you give me the assignment so I could kill him?" I asked with a rising chest, bracing myself up for whatever answer he was going to tell me. I knew part of him was kind and nice, but the Henry I had seen in the mansion could be cruel. "Did you?"
___________
Henry glared at me. It wasn't oblivion to me that it was taking all of him to stay calm. "This whole thing wouldn't have happened if you hadn't been secretive about your family background. No one knows you were adopted except for Jasper and me. You wouldn't tell anyone about your family even when they asked you. The members told me you avoided their questions and they took that as a cue to let it go. They even wanted me to do a background check on you but I didn't think it was necessary, except if it was important for me. I thought it was best to respect whatever you wanted. And you think this is my fault? No! Can I take part of the blame, but remember I told you you could injure him. I told you you didn't have to necessarily kill him, Tosin! So what happened?"
I gazed, processing what Henry said before I burst into tears. He was right. He had given me an option. I could have injured him and left, but I had awoken my fury at my uncle and killing him was my way of getting back at him. One thing was certain to me, if I had known he was my uncle, I wouldn't have killed him, but I wouldn't have hesitated to leave a great scar for him to remember.
I carefully sat on the floor with tears cascading down my face. My head suddenly felt heavy and my pregnancy hurt.
The silence of the room gave access for hurtful thoughts to flow freely in my head and I began to feel nauseous. Out of nowhere, my body began to shiver from an unexplainable cold as the fear of being a murderer began to hit me hard. I felt I might faint at this moment.
"I'm a bad person. I don't deserve to live. I'm a murderer. I can never forgive myself."
Henry exhaled and sat beside me. "Look, we've all done bad things in our lives. We can't change the past. Even if we tried to, some things are inevitable just because they are fated to be."
"You are talking this way because you are inelastic to pain and fear."
“No, I'm not. I'm not strong. Once in a while, baby, I break down. For years I had unending nightmares that I thought I wouldn't break from. Things happen because we wanted them to, but at times they get out of control and take the lead. We can either destroy them on time or let them destroy us. I did not create the group to be a murderer or to train people to be murderers, but then, things happened. I tried my best to make it beneficial not only financially but in any aspect of their lives. I helped people. I might have been a bad boss, but I'm proud to say I helped people in the way they needed me. Like Bella, James and some others.
“Here is something I can tell you, you can determine how you want to see yourself. Give access to your past to destroy your future or your baby. Or make peace with the past and forgive yourself. All these are what I have been applying to my life to keep my head above the ocean of obstacles, pains and fears."
I sobbed uncontrollably.
“I wasn't completely happy since I started dating you because part of me knew it was wrong, but still I selfishly wanted you. I loved you and still do. Jasper hated me when he found out and he swore he was going to break my head if I hurt you.”
"But he hasn't broken your head," I said.
“That's because he pitied me. I was scared when you ran away. I first thought you were dead but then your car and phone made me know you ran away. Plus Lizzy told me she saw you. I'm sorry I caused you pain. I hated myself too. My heart goes to those who are dead and in pain and I couldn't help but think it was time to quit the whole thing."
Henry sniffed in and I turned to look at him. He had tears in his eyes and that was the first time I saw him cry in my present. I was feeling the force to reach for him and wipe his tears and hug him, but I held myself. I hadn't forgiven him. And this wasn't what Vicky told me about forgiveness. I was doing the opposite.
“When did you start to love me? At the club?”
"No," his face twitched with a smile.
"The day you asked me out?"
"No," he snorted and smiled as if we were on good terms.
"Oh at the party, when we danced?"
"No." He lifted my chin and looked into my eyes." It was in the gallery room. You were a pain in the ass and you kept asking annoying questions. From there, I started having feelings for you that day. I don't know how it started, but it did. I thought it was infatuation and nothing more, but later, I realised it was not. It was hard to keep to myself. Plus, I thought you were attracted to me in a way with the way you looked at me, hugged and held my hand."
Well, yeah, he was right there. But he didn't know I was looking at him so much because I was curious about what he looked like behind the mask.
Henry tried bringing his face close to me but I tore my eyes off him and stood up. "I have to go."
"Why? What about us? The baby?"
"There is no us, Jer… Henry." I went for my purse on the bed.
"Jeremy is my middle name."
I nodded. I was glad he didn't make that name up. "I don't have the strength to think straight. But I will do something and get back to you."
“I'm leaving the day after tomorrow."
“I will get to you when you are there. I can call. Can I have the key, please?" I was so exhausted that I didn't have the strength to punch his face.
Henry unlocked the door reluctantly. He hesitated and turned to me. "We can start this over again. Hi, I'm Henry Jeremy Wellington."
"Henry, please stop, I have to go."
"Give us a second chance." He was literally begging me. “Please, I promise not to hurt you again. No lies again." He held my arms.
I pushed his hands away, avoiding his eyes without looking back at him. "Goodbye, Henry," I said, walking away hurriedly quickly before I broke down and threw myself at him. I missed him but what could I do? If you love someone you let them go, right? And if the person is meant for you, he or she would come back, right?
We then, maybe fate would bring us back together.