Elyana's POV 
"Thank you so much for coming all the way here to visit me, Ellie. I really thought we wouldn't get a chance to see each other again after all the mess that happened. Despite that, there were things for which I was thankful as well that happened. When you left, I also found the courage to end my ties with Lucas' father. It was the best decision I ever made in life in my entire existence and thanks to you," Helen told me while holding both of my hands tightly.  
I was touched by Helen's words. We had a long conversation, but those were the messages that my brain couldn't forget the most. 
"Time for your medicine, Miss Helen." We got interrupted when the nurse announced this.  
I gave them space. I checked my time and saw that it had been more than an hour since Felipe and I arrived.  
I waited for Helen to finish drinking her medicine before telling her that I would be going.  
"It's still early. Stay here and I will ask the cook to prepare dinner for you and Felipe," she insisted, but the reason I wanted to leave at that time was to make her rest. I already caught her yawning a few times while we were having conversation and it wouldn't be nice to force her to stay awake.  
"We will return tomorrow before you know it," I promised to her, and by that, she smiled. 
"I will be waiting," she said in her weak voice. She once again grabbed my hand and held it. That time, tighter. I felt my eyes getting teary again and before the tears started falling again, I had already said good night to her so she could get some sleep. 
We went back to our hotel. I noticed something different with the way Felipe looked at me.  
"What?" I asked him when we were inside the elevator going to our separate rooms. 
"Nothing," he answered, but I was not satisfied.  
"I know there's something. You won't be looking at me creepily if there is none. Stop playing mysterious; I know you very well." He made me roll my eyes in no time.  
"It's nothing really," he answered. Just in time, the elevator door opened, making him find a way to escape easily from my question. 
He left me in the elevator and he went straight to his hotel room without waiting for me. I didn't bother chasing him. I was too tired to do that. The long flight was too tiring for me and I could feel my br*ast sore.  
All I wanted was just to lay down and rest, but I still needed to pump my br*ast.  
After that day, we went back and forth to visit Helen during our week-long stay in England. There was discomfort between me and Lucas that Felipe kept noticing and he even told me that I should better talk to him.
It sounded like I was the one who did something wrong in the past so I was the one to initiate the conversation. He was not the reason why I went there in the first place and I don't see anything that we should talk about. 
On the day before our flight, I didn't insist anymore when Helen invited us to have lunch with them before our flight back to the Philippines. 
They set up a table in the gazebo, as per Helen's request. They brought Helen there in a wheelchair to join us. We shared the delicious food their cook prepared that noon, and during the meal, most of the stories were about my boy because Helen kept on asking about him. 
Felipe and I were those who kept talking. Helen would just ask whatever she wanted to ask and we would answer every single question with enthusiasm. Lucas, who was sitting across me, kept silent, but he seemed to be listening because of the way he reacted when there was something to laugh about. 
But there was something in his eyes that convinced me to talk to him before Felipe and I left; I just didn't know at that time how I would ask him for a chat. 
"I want to hold Aqui in my arms, but I don't have the strength to travel far and see him personally anymore," Helen suddenly uttered, which changed the atmosphere around us.  
The sadness in her voice was enough to pierce anyone's heart and among all the people there in front of her, I knew Lucas was the one who got hurt so much.  
I turned to him and saw that in his eyes before he vowed down and hid it. I understood how he felt. It was only a matter of weeks or days before Helen was waiting and honestly, that request was too simple and I can make that happen.  
But my concern was with Lucas at that time. He seemed to be unwell with what he heard.   
"We'll be flying tonight and you still haven't seen the whole place, Elyana!" Felipe's loud voice immediately caught my attention by surprise.  
"You're right about that, but you still have time. Lucas has made so many changes in this place since we moved here. He can take you for a quick tour if you like," Helen suggested. 
"That would be lovely," Felipe commented. He turned his head to me and gave me a don't-say-no look before looking back at Helen.
I didn't answer, but I gave Lucas a glance to check his reaction or if he would be saying something.  
He had changed a lot. He always looked tired every day we were there. His eyebags were proof he was not getting enough rest and there were days we came that he was still sleeping after drinking the whole night, according to his servant and the nurse who were also checking on him. 
That nurse seemed to have so much care in her heart. I liked her from the first day I saw her. She looked so kind and carefree, and the smile on her lips was not fading.
"Can you tour Elyana around, son, before they leave today?" I heard Helen ask him later on. 
Lucas raised his head and looked at me before looking at his mother for an answer. He seemed to be searching for my disapproval, but because I didn't say anything at that time, he gave it a go. 
Lucas wiped his lips with the table napkin before standing. I saw that as a cue to do the same and follow him. I could sense Felipe looking at me, but I didn't bother anymore to look back because Lucas was walking already and he was getting far. 
He seemed to be in a hurry to get away, but he halted after a moment and changed his pace. We walked near the lake. I focused my eyes around us, searching for the changes Helen mentioned and I could see a few from that distance.  
That gazebo was one of those. There were horses running freely in the meadow. I could hear different noises the birds were making and they were flying all over the place. That noon was a bit hot, but the shade from the trees we were walking was shielding us from it and because the autumn season was starting, there were a lot of colorful dried leaves following above our heads. 
My eyes couldn't stop wondering, like I had never been to that place. I found an escape from the awkwardness I felt with my ex-husband walking beside me.  
No one even dared to open up a conversation. We were also getting further and knowing how huge that place was, the remaining hours we had left before the flight were not enough to walk around the place. I tried starting a conversation by asking what kind of improvements he wanted to add to that property.  
I believed I picked the right question because I made him talk longer after. I gave him the time and I could picture all the plans he told me in my head and just like how I knew him, his improvement plans were impressive.  
He said he wanted to turn the place into a haven. A paradise where he could trap himself without regret. I knew he could make all those possible because he had enough funds, but it wouldn't be that easy if he were doing that all alone with his dying mother.  
He needed someone to look after him too. Someone who is capable and has a stable mind, unlike the person we both knew. 
"So, what are your plans once Helen is—" I wasn't able to continue my question because it seemed too abrupt, but he got what I wanted to convey. He sighed, making me feel sorry for asking this one. 
"Frankly, I don't have plans yet. I'm just about to start to prepare my mind for that day," he replied after a short pause and he continued, "but—I've been thinking what to do with this place that mom would give to me. I started a new company not connected with Dad's. But this time I'm more into countryside houses and developing old and abandoned ranches—just like how I wanted to turn this place."
That was a bit far from his father's targets. More on condominium buildings overlooking the ocean and mountains. It seemed he didn't want to bump into his dad anymore for him to choose those and that was something nice to hear from him. 
"How about you? What plans do you have?" I didn't expect him to ask that, but since he already did, I told him what I had in mind.
We chuckled when I mentioned that I wanted to develop the farmland my parents gave me as a Christmas gift and he laughed at me when I said it was a coffee plantation. 
"I won't wonder why, coffee. Some things never change," he said after laughing at me. 
Our conversation went smoother after that, like I was only talking to a long-lost friend that I needed to update on what he was already missing in my life. Frankly, it made me feel better. I just hope he was feeling the same too. 
When we were on our way back to the cabin, he thanked me several times. He said he appreciated my visit because it made his mom so happy. I promised Helen to keep in touch with her and I will be going back with my son for her to hold so she must wait for that. 
Her eyes twinkled when she heard that and I saw hope in her eyes. Witnessing that filled my heart with joy.  
Felipe was right; I needed to talk to Lucas. It made me feel better and even though I said over and over again that I had forgiven him for what he did, there was still something left in my chest that seemed to vanish completely the day after we had our decent conversation.
 
I could still feel from the way he looked at me that he still had feelings, but when I tried to dig into mine, I couldn't feel anything anymore. The care I had for him was still there, but the love, just like before, was completely gone, making me wonder where it went.