Deanara Samaniego’s POV
“Why are you still wearing it?” He asked again.
“Can I not wear it?” I fired back. I don’t know how to answer his question, so I think I might just ask him questions, too. This is crazy! I never thought about this necklace because I never stopped wearing it.
Wearing this necklace became my usual routine and I didn’t bother removing it from my life even though we are no longer together. It just felt nice to have it around my neck as it reminded me of good times. Not necessarily Gray, but those times where I was happy, when I could still look at the sunrise with a smile on my face and not be sad about it. We were happy, am I right?
We were happy, but is that even real? I am not sure.
I kept thinking if everything between us was real or I was just believing in lies. I don’t know. I felt happy with myself. I was happy with him. But, I guess I am not sure if he was happy with me when he had another woman in his arms. How sad would that be?
“You gave me back the ring, why not also the necklace?” He grinned. He is definitely enjoying these things and I cannot believe I forgot about this.
“Seriously, you married Mattel, and like you said you and Ethan are together…and…” He walked towards me with a serious face.
I was taken aback. I couldn’t move from where I was standing while I was holding my breath. Shit! What is he going to do? My heart was beating so fast, so I tried to move back.
Gray didn’t even blink as he looked at me and slowly walked towards me. There was a small smile on the side of his lips, perhaps he knew that I no longer have ways of lying right now. He caught me red-handed. What am I supposed to do? And, no sane person would believe in me when I say that I wear this for remembrance.
Gray cheated on me. He did. I shouldn’t be wearing this, but I couldn’t get it off.
“You are lying!”
“I am not!” I choked with my own words.
Fuck! I continued moving backward until I felt the wall behind me. Okay, dead end. Why? Why can't I move? I felt weak with his stares. He is killing me.
“You are eating your words, babe!”
I closed my eyes when I heard that. Why? I hate how that simple word can make my heart beat race so fast. Damn! I inhaled and exhaled. You gotta be kidding me! This is his plan!
“Let me go!” I warned him when he pinned both of his arms on the wall.
We are two inch closer and one wrong move he would definitely kiss me, our lips would probably meet right now and I don’t think I can handle that.
Both of his hands are on my both sides. His eyes, they were flaming with desires, or maybe longing. I could feel sadness on it. Was it my fault? Surely, it’s our fault.
“You still love me.” It wasn’t a question.
It was a statement and all I could do was to deny it. He was waiting for the words that would make him believe that I don’t love him anymore. I don’t love him. That’s the truth!
Or maybe not…as I got weaker when he started holding my waist. I smelled his mint breath and he smirked when he felt like I was already nervous. I was really holding my breath as I was thinking of the possible things that could happen between us right now. I know I shouldn’t be thinking about it, but, gosh! I missed him so much. I want to hug him.
I tried to resist this feeling that’s building up in my stomach, but I failed when his breath went on my neck and whispered, “You love me.”
Damn! Of course, I do. I do love him because my knees feel weaker right now because of his touch. I am really having a lot of butterflies in my stomach. He bit his lower lip as he stared right into my eyes. I was waiting for his next move, because this is already killing me. I need to get out, but my body won’t just move.
“W-what are you doing?” I bit my lower lip and closed my eyes when his lips touched my neck. “Stop it!” My voice was so weak that I could no longer hear it.
“Make me.” He brushed my hair as his hands went down my waist, pulling me closer to him, making me feel something on my stomach. Damn! He is seriously seducing me and I am here letting him do it.
I should stop this…and before I was able to do it. He claimed my lips. It was harsh and he was even biting my lip, like he was putting all the madness he had on me when I left.
I tried to push him away, but he wouldn't budge.
“G-gray!” I moved my head sideways but he held both of my hands and pinned it to the wall while he continued kissing my lips.
Slowly, his kiss slowly became soft like the first time we kissed. He pushed his tongue inside me while still holding my hand, not letting me go.
I resisted at first, but my whole body could no longer hold it as I started responding to his kisses, making him tighten his grip on my hands.
His left hand now caressed my cheeks while his right hand started holding my waist. He deepened his kiss and I softly groaned between kisses when he brushed his hands between my legs.
He let go of my lips as he bent down to claim my neck.
“Gray…” I whispered. This isn’t what was supposed to happen. No! We shouldn’t be doing this. I felt like cheating, but not really. Is this the right thing to do?
“Sssh!” He whispered.
He already removed my clothes and I was naked now! Damn! He was that fast and I could feel that he was breathing so fast now. Is he excited? Does he miss me, too? I am losing control because of his kisses. I had to hold his arms when he started rubbing his fingers in my sensitive bud while his other hand was caressing my mound. Damn! And, he is kissing my neck and now licking my breast. Oh, fuck! He is a multi-tasker.
“I am not letting you go now.” He smirked and I moaned when he started inserting his fingers inside me.
“Oh, tight? Didn’t you do it with Ethan?” He grinned. “Don’t tell me I am your first and last?” He said while cupping one of my breasts.
He then let go of me and I was about to run because I need my conscious mind right now, but he didn’t let go of me.
He carried me and we both fell down on the bed as he started undressing. His eyes. I missed the look in his eyes…although I wasn’t able to stare at it now that he was really giving me so much pleasure. He bend down and his tongue was the one playing with my sensitive bud while his hands thrust up and down. Fuck!
He is killing me! I missed his touch and everything about him.
“Oh, I love to hear you moan, please…” he chuckled as he fastly trust his fingers inside me.
My whole body was moving and my heart was beating so fast as I tried to hold my breathe and stop myself from moving.
He let go of me after my release, but I guess he really doesn’t have any intention of letting me go as he now rubbed his manhood in mine. I am so wet and this is fucking so gosh! I am blushing right now and at the same time I was so ashamed of what we were doing.
How? How could I now lie to him that I don’t love him when I am clearly enjoying this now! He gotta be kidding me! I cannot believe this!
“Gray…oh!” I bit my lower lip. He bent down to kiss me and without even saying a thing, he inserted his everything in me with one pull and I had to scream.
It was my first time again and he didn’t even put some gentleness. Seriously? I never did it after him! He should have been careful.
“Moan my name, baby!” He whispered as he thrust up and down and we were both holding our breath.
Gosh! Why? Why is he killing me? This really feels good and…and I cannot believe I just fell for this!
I tried really hard not to moan his name because that would satisfy him but I really couldn’t do it. My whole body was so weak and I could feel my release now. So was him. I am expecting him to let go that I hadn’t prepared when he put his juices inside me.
“Fuck!” I pushed him away. “What are you doing?”
“Getting you pregnant the second time so you —“ I slapped him.
Okay, I know I shouldn’t be doing that because I also want this, but this is for everything he had done.
I immediately went to the bathroom to clean myself and tried to remove it, but it was too late. I am not in control because I don’t do it. So, he can make me pregnant. Shit!
I hate how there was no regret in his face when I went out of the bathroom. He wasn’t even wearing anything yet, so I had to look away before my mind told me to do something I don’t want to do.
His lips formed a smile as he went inside. Fuck! I continued cursing in my mind. I went to drink warm water to wake my senses after I fully dressed. I really need to get out of this place. I need to look for some place although it is too late now, but I can say that it really felt good. He is that good. Damn! He just won this round!
I almost choked when he went out and called my name.
“Want to eat?” He playfully grinned. “Or are you already full?”
I ignored what he said because I knew he was just teasing me. I picked up all my things and was ready to leave when he again pulled me close to him.
“Aren’t you going to give me a kiss?”
“Stop it! This shouldn’t have happened!”
“Wow!” He looked hurt. “Now, you are…wow!” He inhaled. “You think that was a mistake. How about my son, Sae, is he really a mistake?”
“Sae is not included in here!” I defended myself. “Don’t put his name in here.”
“You love me, why can’t you just admit it?” He sighed deeply. “I know you do!” He raised his voice.
“Why not ask Vivian about it?” I scoffed. “Aren’t you cheating on her with me? How ironic, right?”
“Vivian?” He shook his head. “I said we are not together! For god sake!”
“Are you still friends with her?” I asked, looking right through his eyes.
He paused. See? He couldn’t answer it.
“You are friends with Ethan.”
I smirked. “Ethan is the father of my son.”
I saw the hatred that crossed his eyes when I said that. “You have to tell Sae about me or else…”
“Or else what? You’ll get him from me?” I smirked. “Go on! Get him from me and Ethan and let's see if your son can love you!”
“Deanara!” He warned me as I opened the door. “Deanara…please…”
“You cheated on me with Vivian, Gray. Why do you expect that we will back together?”
“I said, I didn’t cheat.”
“But, you are still seeing her, for what?”
“We were friends.”
“Were.” I emphasized that. “I don’t think so.”
“I love you.”
“It means nothing to me now.”
“You are telling me that we made love?”
I laughed at the use of his words. As much as I want to use that word, that isn’t what we should use right now.
“That’s not making love. That’s called fucking Gray. I thought everyone would know that.” I smiled a little. “We can’t go back with each other because we are just going to ruin each other.”
“Do you want to see Vivian?”
“What? Why would I see her?”
“To clarify things.”
I shook my head. “Why would I do that? If you want to clear your name, you should do it. I will never be the one to ask her.” I flipped my hair.
I may have lost control a while ago, but it remains the same. As long as Vivian is in his life, we are never going to be with each other. I’d rather marry Ethan than to be with him.
I’m sorry, but my heart is frozen now.
I am choosing myself now…above all.