Deanara Samaniego’s POV
“Wait, what’s happening?” Gray was already panicking when he saw me arranging my things and packing my luggage after receiving the call from my mother. I put all the work papers inside my bag before turning to him.
He stopped me, wanting to face me, and see the look in my eyes. I could feel the fear in him right now, especially that I left him before without saying anything, so it must have given him so much trauma and it will forever leave a scar in his heart. Well, it’s not like I regretted it. I mean, we learned from it, so there’s no room for me to actually regret it now. It needs to happen, so we can reach the place where we are right now. Things needed to happen, so we could move on and we could grow independently.
And, whatever happens...the things we experience will remain to be the best thing that ever happens to us...so we could be where we are right now. And, I like where we are right now.
“You are overacting,” I teased him. “What makes you think that I am going to leave you?”
“You are packing your things now when we are supposed to leave next week, not now. And, I don’t know why you are suddenly doing this. What, did I do something?” He explained. He walked towards me and hugged me from my back. “Don’t leave me…”
I chuckled as I planted kisses all over his face. “I am not leaving you, but I am leaving. I need to go to Manila right now because my mother is on her way to the country, you know…” I smiled a bit. “Honestly, I don’t know how to face her right now and I don’t think that she will like it if you are with me. So, please...allow me to go back to Manila to settle things.”
“Are you sure you don’t want me to meet her?” He asked, concerned. “I can talk to her and clear things up. Maybe I can help so…” I kissed him to assure him that I am not going to leave him. There is no way I’ll waste my time again.
“Not now, Gray.” I shook my head. “Please...let me settle it for now.” I said as I continued packing my clothes. This time, he already helped me. He also knew that there is no going back to this place right now since I am already done with my business here.
All I have to do is to actually settle things now within my family because business can be left behind, not family. My mother will surely kill me if I do not settle this. Worst scenario can happen right now which actually includes her taking me back to Spain with Sae which cannot happen, so I need to look for evidence and perhaps some proof that Gray really meant it, that he was really innocent.
My mother had agreed to be partnered with their company, only because of Ethan, and not Gray. Of course, she still has some issues with her father, but she’s doing it for our business because she thought that Gray will not be the one to manage it. Now, how am I going to explain it to her?
“Okay, then…let me know what will happen…” Gray sighed. “I really want to be with you right now, but I still have weeks to settle here and…” He looked at me and he was really sorry. “I cannot leave the site. I have a lot of things to do because my father will surely kill me. Also, you know I have to prove something to Ethan, especially that I really hate him, so I can’t leave the site for him to have something he’ll say that’s my mistake.” He rolled his eyes and I chuckled.
“Can you not be friends with Ethan?” I pouted. “I mean, he’s really a great guy and if you really want to get close with Sae…” I stopped mid-way, thinking if I am going to tell him this because that will make him hate Gray even more. “He’s close with Ethan and…”
“And, I can’t just get in the picture. Am I right?” He said sadly.
I sighed. “I am really sorry, but I promise…I am going to settle this when I come back. Okay? For now, you just have to settle your things here…and that’s what I am going to do.”
“I am going to miss you.” He hugged me again while he pouted. “Damn! I want to be with you. We had wasted a lot of time…and I just can’t waste another second…not being with you.”
I kissed him. “Don’t worry, okay? After this, we are going to be together again, so…let’s just be patient with each other. And, you are not going to not see me for two weeks, so…”
“Still…” He sighed while playing with my hands. “Fine! Let’s just call each other, okay?”
“Sae…” I smiled at him. “When you come back, I promise…he’ll know you as his father.”
“And, I cannot wait to marry you…”
It was easy to say that, to say that I am going to tell Sae that Ethan isn’t his father. Honestly, I never told Sae that Ethan is his father. Okay, this is really confusing. But, since Ethan was there since he was a child and he grew up with Ethan, it was really normal for him to know that Ethan was his father. And, I was to blame because I never corrected him. One day, he just called Ethan his father and introduced him to all his friends. How can I break his heart, then? How can I tell them that Ethan wasn’t his father when all the kids and all his friends have a complete family? It will break his heart more than it will break mine. Ethan didn’t say anything, too, because he knew that it would break Sae’s heart.
I had never corrected that, and it was making it hard for me to tell him the truth now. Surely, he’s already grown. Well, still young…but will he be able to understand it? My son is really intelligent, but when it comes to emotions, he’s still a child so I am not sure.
How am I going to tell him that I will not be marrying Ethan, but I will be marrying Gray…his real father. He was really excited about me marrying Ethan because he’d been telling us to do it…for real…like it’s his only dream. And, I am going to break his heart again.
“Mommy!” Sae jumped upon seeing me. He was really happy. “Oh, my gosh! You are already here. I missed you!” He kissed me and didn’t let go of me until we both fell on the couch. “I thought you would be home next week.” He pouted.
“It’s a surprise.” I smiled at him as I brushed his hair. I looked at him and he really looked like Gray. This is something that I cannot really deny because people who don't know about us will definitely say that Sae is his son. There is no doubt about it.
“Aww. I miss you, mother.”
I kissed his cheeks and tickled him, making him laugh. “What did you do while I was away?”
“Hmm…a lot…we did a lot of things.” He replied and he started telling me the things he did with Ethan.
It’s more of a business trip that he attended with my son, but in every country…Ethan made sure that Sae will enjoy it. Sae really loves traveling, so it was no wonder that he wanted to be with him. Well, Gray can do it with him.
It all leads now to telling him everything that I want to tell him.
“Hmm, are you okay, mother? Why aren’t you saying anything?”
I shook my head. “Mommy is just tired from the trip.”
“Oh, then, let’s get some rest.” He offered. “Daddy Ethan will come home any moment. Do you want me to ask him to buy us some food?”
“Daddy Ethan…” I paused, looking how happy my son was upon saying that Ethan will be home.
“Do you really like him?”
He nodded. “He’s my dad. How can I not like him?”
“What if he is not your—”
I wasn’t able to continue what I was going to say when someone rang the doorbell. Sae immediately went up and opened the door. I thought it was Ethan, so I was really shock upon seeing my mother. I got up and bit my lower lip. She’s really fast. What the hell? So, when she called, I was pretty sure that she’s already on her way here. Ugh! Now, she’s mad at me.
“Granny!” Sae jumped. “You are here, too!”
I sighed with relief. At least, Sae is here, so she cannot just get mad at me and show it to her grandson. I also need Ethan to be here, so where the hell is he? I texted him while I was listening to my mother and Sae talking about something, most of it were things that my mother wanted to give Sae…when I told her not to shower my kid with expensive things. I don’t want him to take things for granted just because we have a lot of money. I still want him to grow up wanting things because he just cannot let it get that easy. Money isn’t the issue, it’s how he faces the world and the people. I want him to grow up, still being humble.
“Where’s your Daddy Ethan?” My mother looked at me when she asked that. She was serious as our eyes met…then after that…she turned to my stomach. Okay, what was that? She really knew me.
I turned my back and pretended I was getting ready to cook, but honestly, I just don’t know what to do anymore. I know that she is just waiting for the right moment to burst and actually punch me in the face because I could feel it even behind my back.
“He’s already on his way.” Sae replied.
“Oh, that’s great. I told your Daddy Ethan that we will be spending our time in our mansion. Do you want to sleep there?” My mother asked, to which my son replied yes…with a happy face.
“Good. Now, can you get some of your things so we can now go to the mansion?” My mother commanded him. Sae nodded and went inside our room. We are now in our unit since I didn’t go back to Gray’s mansion without him and Ethan. I don’t even know how to face his family, and I need to deal with my family first before dealing with them. Gray can do it. Ethan can support them, too.
“Now…” My mother crossed her arms. “I cannot believe I am going to say this again…” She looked at me from head to toe. “You are pregnant.”
I looked at my body and it was really great how my mother could know it when it wasn’t that obvious. She’s really my mother and there’s no doubt about it. What can I say, right? There is no way I can hide things with her. She has someone following me. She is that great.
“Gray, again?” She smirked. “When are you going to stop…”
“Mother…” I calmly said. “Please…give him a chance. All the things you knew about him…”
“That is why I am here now…to prove to you that Gray is not worthy of you. What happens now about Ethan? Seriously? Do you want to be the talk of the town? You really want to marry Gray when people think you are going to marry Ethan?” If she could kill me…she would probably do it right now, with her eyes, really shooting daggers on mine.
“Do I really need to care about what people are going to say to me?” I sighed. I am already done trying to please people. I have been minding my business, so can they not mine their life?
I am really at the point of time where I no longer care about what people think as long as I am happy and there is no way I’ll let them ruin my happiness. I have tried to live my life pleasing other people and I am done trying right now. I am done. All I want is to be happy.
“You cannot avoid it!” My mother raised her voice. I tried hard to stop her because Sae might hear us and I don’t want him to think that shouting is really something that’s normal.
“Mom, stop…”
“Stop, why would I? You need some beating, Deanara.” She was really frustrated as she brushed her air. I could see wrinkles on her forehead and I think I am really making her a bit old. “Damn…are you crazy? What will my friends say now?”
“Mom, do I need to care about it?”
“What will Gray and Ethan’s father say now?”
That made me stop. Truly, I have never thought of it because I was busy thinking of other things and they seem to be okay with everything. I mean, they didn’t even say anything about Vivian…so a part of me…wanted to believe that this would be nothing to them. They don't seem to care. Or maybe they do care…they just don’t want me to know about it. Gray can handle it, but yeah…my mother was right.
She was right, always right, and she was right again when she said. “Now, think about what your son will say. Not you, Deanara. Let’s not think about you. Think about your son. Do you really want him to grow up with this mess, with people around him…treating him like what…seriously? Starting from Mattel, do you think your son can bear it? He might not say it, but do you think people around him were giving him some good treatment? Do you really think he is fine? Are you even sure he’s not aware of everything?”
“Mom, calm down.” I warned her because Sae might be listening now.
“How can I calm down?” She smirked. “How, Deanara? Tell me to calm down because I don't know that you are giving my grandson some world that he doesn’t deserve. And, how are you going to tell him this? How?”
“What do you want me to do, then?” I sighed. I really don’t know what to do because I am not sure…well I might be sure. But, there are a lot of things that needs to be done…so fuck! My mother can help me…so maybe she can think of it, too.
“Do you want me to lie to Sae? To continue this act? To marry Ethan instead of telling him the truth. Is that it? Do you want me to do it?” I asked her, merely pleading to tell me what to do. It was my fault and I am not sure about it…yes, I admit it now. I am not really sure about what to do now.
“Now, tell me…what am I going to do?” I repeated. “Do you want me to lie to him? To Sae?” I brushed my hair in frustration. “Do you want him to believe that Ethan is his father when clearly Ethan isn’t his real father.”
We were caught off guard when we heard something dropped. And, my heart almost skipped a beat when I saw Sae walking towards us. He was holding his backpack while looking at us, confused. It was clear that he doesn’t know what to do anymore…and he was showing us fear or it might be hatred. I never want him to feel this…and this wasn’t supposed to be how I am going to tell it to him.
“Mom?” He asked me, with his eyes really sad. “Daddy Ethan? He isn’t my real dad?”
“Sae…” I was really speechless because what am I going to say? “Let me explain!”
“You lied to me!” He shouted. “I hate you!” He yelled again and started running outside our unt.
“See?” My mother crossed her arms with a sly smile. “How can you settle that?”
“I believe I need help,” I honestly told her.
“You won’t need help if you only listen to me.”
“I’m sorry, okay?” I sighed. “But, mother…”
“Apologize to your son, Deanara, not to me.” She scoffed. “I am not the one who lied. You hate being lied to, right? Then, why…why did you lie to him?”
“Honestly, because it was the right thing to do at that moment. I am sorry I am not perfect like you.” I bowed down. “I’ll fix this, mother. Please let me do it alone.”
“Leave Gray.”
“I have been doing everything you want me to do in life, mother. This time, I am sorry but I am not going to obey you.” I shook my head. “I believe I am old enough to be accountable for my own mistakes, so if you really want me to fix this, you’ll let me handle it. After all, I don’t think you will help me.”
“Deanara…” She warned me.
“If you leave…you are not getting anything from me.”
“Mother, I never want anything from you.” I smiled a bit. “Let me have my life now.”