Honestly, I still don't believe it. When reality hit me, everything felt absurd. At the same time I also thought whether maybe this was the end of it all. Right now I feel under tremendous pressure. The guy kept telling me that there were some things he might have missed. One thing is most certain, I still can't believe what I saw. At the same time, I almost withdrew and didn't know how to face all of this. It's as if something keeps stopping you. I couldn't have hoped for more from facing this. I felt myself running out of energy again. Don't know why it feels really sad. I can't think clearly because of this. On the one hand, I also feel that there is something missing with me. I believed there was something else and when I looked it was also very suspicious. Besides that, I was very frustrated with what I saw, as if there was a much bigger problem. I stopped moving and afterward felt low self-esteem. When I got home, I didn't expect it to be so heavy. I feel as if I am in an uncertain condition. I also feel really bad about that. This time I was really in the scary zone. Once I assessed everything I saw, it turned out that everything was no different. Sometimes I also feel suspicious, especially with the coach's attitude which can be said to be very sudden like this. I lost my mind because I kept thinking negatively. Lately there have been a lot of things happening to me. That's why I feel like I'm at a loss when facing all of this. I seemed to be in a strange environment and it was like I wasn't the only one. After that I tried to stand my ground and then looked at the surroundings which were already familiar to me. They looked at me with their usual gaze. The neighbors who often meet me are always like that. Sometimes I myself feel bad when I'm around there. Until I thought again as if there was something else that was weighing me down. I really couldn't think properly. At the same time, it seems that my mind is always in a zone that I really never understand. I felt very scared because of that and now I understand why it all started from that. Until now I really can't figure out how to explain all this and that's what happened. I sat with a very tired face. Today is really tiring for me.
"Unlucky. I shouldn't feel like this. I should feel happy," I muttered.
Still thinking about it. Until I couldn't sleep. I keep wondering why that person is always nice to me and of course it's at a pretty suspicious point. The last time I heard Danielle's words, I thought they were too exaggerated, but when I looked at them again they made a lot of sense. I also don't hope that my prediction is correct or anything like that. It's just that I'm willing to bet on myself that it really makes sense. My mind is so confused right now that my head hurts so much.
'Gosh, this is quite painful,' I muttered to myself.
Once again I imagined there was something else going on in my life. Surprisingly none of that happened. I hope there are pleasant things in my life. Turns out it was just my imagination. After I came back with several things that really made me feel confused, at that time I was confused about all of this. I felt there was something wrong with me and when I looked again there were many strange things. From there I felt this was very bad. There are no problems happening and all of that will only bring quite terrible things. Until this moment I don't like my life continuing like this. I find this very boring. I almost felt like the world was collapsing. Likewise with several other things that are very strange. I'm running out of ideas to make myself even better. At that moment I couldn't say any more. There are times when I feel like this is unfair. To the extent that I feel this kind of thing and there are indeed many things that I think are unfair. There are other things that are troublesome and that has become part of the existing crime. I found the meaning quite strange. At that time I couldn't do anything well. Of all the problems that exist, the longer I feel, the more surprised I am. To the point where I couldn't stop thinking about it, of course I was very annoyed. For a moment I only hoped for myself. Don't know why everything is so grey. I don't feel alive. On the one hand, I can no longer hope for much. Now I understand why you shouldn't hope. Because it's all so terrible. I can't stop thinking about how strange I am. Lately I really don't want to feel empty anymore. But I also can't get out of a toxic circle like this. People like that deserve to die. I've been annoyed by all this for a long time. I was always in a dark circle and there was not a little light. Even now I feel that this world is never fair. I don't want to continue to be in a terrible world like this. When life feels scary, there are some things that are truly unusual. Until now I'm in a pretty strange zone. I don't want to continue living like this. When I feel annoyed, that's what makes me really annoyed even now. When I was enjoying my time, suddenly there was a phone call from Danielle.
"Hello?"
“Aria. Are you in your apartment?”
“Oh, sure. Why?"
“That's good. At least you're not out today.”
“Why are you talking like that? Did something happen? Tell me."
“Some people started to gather and it seemed like they really wanted to interview you. What do coaches actually do? Don't tell me there's something between you?"
"It is not like that. At that time I met with the coach and told me that I had to take part in Opera. That's all the coach said.”
“Ah, I see. I understand. But for now they seem to be bothering you."
"What?"
“That's very clear. They are very hungry for information. You'd better stay in your apartment."
"Okay."