“I've crossed some kind of invisible line. I feel as if I've come to a place I never thought I'd have to come to. And I don't know how I got here. It's a strange place. It's a place where a little harmless dreaming and then some sleepy, early-morning talk has led me into considerations of death and annihilation.”
― Raymond Carver
. . .
The sun was way up high in the sky already and it was shining so brightly, hitting me squarely on the face but despite that, I don’t even feel its warmth… because the truth is, I have never felt so cold (although I’m pretty sure I haven’t even bothered to turn the AC on before I went to sleep) as I rolled over to my side to take a look at the clock.
My eyes squinted, blearily.
Ten minutes before 1pm.
And despite having slept undisturbed, for so long, I have never felt so tired and there was a headache pounding on the back of my head. You know, the feeling you get during the worst of a hangover?
For a moment, I was confused and admittedly a bit freaked out when I finally remembered why I woke up in the first place: the strange, disgusting feeling of the thin trails of blood that were still coming out of my ears.
It was dripping down the sides of my neck in thick, sticky rivulets but when I raced towards the bathroom to get it off of me–I was relieved to find that it was beginning to stop…
As I cleaned and washed my face, I tried mulling over as to what could have possibly caused such a thing (and let me tell you something: at first, I absolutely refused to believe that my freaky dream had something to do with it–I mean, come on, that’s just stupid, I was tired and stressed so of course my imagination would run wild… or so I thought) but when I turned to get out of the bathroom, I nearly jolted right out of my skin when I found my cat staring up at me with his big, green eyes just by the doorway, his tail swishing and thumping loudly on the floor rather insistently.
Oh, my poor baby must have been hungry.
“Sorry, I woke up late, buddy,” I told him, smiling a bit, I was crouching down and already reaching my hand out to scratch his chin, “Let go downstairs and get something to eat, okay–?”
However, much to my surprise, my cat suddenly reared himself back the moment I tried to pet him, his already fluffy tail puffing up straight rather wildly behind him as he bare his fangs rather threateningly, a loud hissing sound pouring out of his mouth.
The strangest thing was… one: my cat wasn’t even the aggressive type. And two: he wasn’t even looking at me as he did so.
* * * * *
I was so tired that day, I feel like I’m catching the seasonal flu or something and was well on my way to having a fever, but I couldn’t find it in me to not get on work.
I was needed, after all.
But as the hours passed by, I can only feel myself getting even more tired, more sleepy, like I’ve taken a tranquilizer shot or something… my eyes felt like they are constantly drooping this entire day as that intoxicating lull of sleep tries to drag me off to dreamland–and I would have gladly done just that hadn’t one of my co-workers suddenly clapped their hands too loudly right in front of my face, earning them a steaming hot cup of coffee on their shirt, courtesy of the drink I (didn’t even get to drink) was holding at the time.
It was all rather embarrassing.
Not only did I managed to embarrass not only myself but my co-worker as well, we also got called in the office and had been reprimanded for causing a scene on the lobby.
I was still blinking back tears when I got back home (at least I wasn’t sleepy anymore) while my cat was still hissing and hiding under the table and wouldn’t come out the moment I showed up. He wouldn’t come out no matter how much I tried to coax him out even at the face of his favorite treats!
So, I got on the bed alone.
Wonderful, I had thought resentfully, the higher-ups think I’m not taking my job seriously, my co-workers think I’m such a ditzy klutz and even my cat doesn’t like me anymore.
I think I cried myself to sleep that day.
However, the moment I did fell asleep, I found myself thrown back in the dream from last night again. I wasn’t sure how I know it was the continuation, but deep in my heart, I just know.
This time, I wasn’t under the sea.
This time, I was standing motionlessly by the shore, staring over the blue sea with my bare feet feeling the warm, clumpy grains of sand as the tide continued its push and pull dance.
The rich blue seemed so vast and never-ending as it stretched on and on, as far as the eye can see. It would have been such a beautiful, normal sight if it weren’t for the fact that the entire sky was black despite the fact that it was supposedly morning.
And there was this tiny, wooden boat...
It carries no passenger save for a lantern, an intricate-looking lantern that looked like it belonged in the Victorian era (or somewhere even older) giving off an enchanting, ghoulish light of blue.
And I have no idea how I knew it was morning but in my dream, there was something like panic bubbling within me when I realized that the tiny wooden boat was coming closer… and closer–!
I tried to move my legs, to at least turn my head away from the sight but like a marionette caught in strings, I only found my neck craning upwards to gaze upon the blackened heavens again, and there are no stars or even clouds to be found in the sky…
Expecting the worst, I flinched when I felt the sudden gust of an icy wind being blown behind the back of my neck. I turned to look behind me but the moment I did, the wind had immediately died down.
…Nothing.
There was nothing.
There was only me, the small patch of sand that I’m standing on which made up the shore, the sea and the color black around me.
But I could hear something though, something that tells me that I am not alone in this world, in this one awful moment. Because when I had turned to look behind me again, I can feel the same cold gust of wind running over the back of my neck like icicles poking over my skin.
Something was here.
Whatever it was, it was moving fast.
And for some reason, it felt like it was mocking me.
Then, I saw it.
Past the tiny, wooden boat that was slowly but surely making its way towards me, there was something moving in the water–a shadow.
This is a dream and that’s just a shadow, so what? My mind immediately tried to reason out, was already quick to reassure me even when I felt my blood running cold as the boat was but a feet away from me now: it can’t hurt you!
Something that sounds an awful lot like laughter echoed in the back of my head, reminding me of the rumbling thunder.
…The beginning of a storm.
The, the tide began to rear itself back.
And I can only close my eyes when I saw a glimpse of a grayish white skin, too many limbs and a too bright eye of blue that was too big looking right back at me just as the boat stopped in front of me.
Then, the tide came crashing down.