“You…lied to me! You betrayed me! You assured me that everything will be fine! That everything is okay!” I sobbed on the floor, “You said that you can save me here!” I yelled to them in anger, “Yet you killed my baby!”
They were silent for a minute, as I bawled my eyes out on the floor, and i was screaming at the top of my lungs, there’s nothing that could compare to the pain i am feeling right now.
I had expressiend pain last time. When Mayhem and the man that I thought was my father got killed, I weeped. 
But now i am grieving.
The past made me lose a part of my soul, but now, I felt like my whole soul was taken, ripped and torn into pieces, shredded and stomped all over by a dump truck.
I feel like i had nothing left inside me.
“We had to do it or else we could lose you, Arya.” Rem’s tone was calm, but I was never calm. 
I turned to him, “Lose me? You don’t understand the grief I am feeling right now! You of all people encouraged me to keep my pup.”
Rem gritted his teeth, “You’d think I liked it? I liked seeing the she-wolf that I had been in love with for my whole life, lose the most important part of her, and act like nothing?” He bursted out.
I suddenly thought of Kai. That baby was the product of our love. The commemoration of our bond. He carrie a part of me. And Kai was nowhere. He didn;t even get to witness me birthing!
“Where’s Kai? Let me see him.” I asked, looking around and Rem grabbed me by the shoulder. 
“Kai is not here!”
“Then let me-“
“Arya, please, just for once, think about yourself. Kai manipulated you into loving him. You are an object of his shems, and that baby was the product of his schemes. You developed a stockholm syndrome, molded into thinking that you love him because he captured you like that.” Rem explained, “He will never be a good father! If you’re sane enough, Why are you looking for him when I had always been here by your side?”
I clenched my jaw, hearing how Rem is talking bad about Kai. Something burned inside me, and I could feel my head boiling. “Rem, no, not this time. Please, my babies, give them back!”
“Is thee even a moon goddess at this point? I would do anything, I would sacrifice anything for my baby to be back.”
The grief of losing something inside you is too painful to bear.
Guse, who has been quiet finally spoke up, “i know that I am only a passerby here and do not know the whole story but Arya, we apologize. We failed to rescue your baby.”
I stare at him with a dead expression, “i do not want to hear that eve again. Just kill me at this point.”
“Leave.” I said to them calmly.
“Arya…” My father called out but i looked at him blankly.
“JUST LEAVE!!!!” 
I yelled at the top of my lungs and I didn't have to tell it twice as they scurried off. 
***
…..
Silence.
Pain.
Agony.
I had never thought that things would have come at this point. That I would lose the most important part of me. 
I stared blankly at my belly, the stretch marks that formed, the stitch on the center of my belly that became prominent…
It looked like a ball that lost air inside.
I had excess fats and skin.
But I don’t even car about it.
All I could think was end my life right now.
And be with mom.
“Mom, just take me with you please.” I would often mumble tp myself.
I knew that I hurt them, but I am the one who’s hurt the most here..
I feel so drained physically, emotionally, and mentally.
As if the life was squeezed out of me and i had nothing to give anymore.
I stare blankly at the wall, sitting on the ground, and would often curl myself in a ball.
I feel like I am going insane. My hest heavy and I felt an intense pain in my head. 
“There, there, my love.” I patted my belly, smiling bitterly as tears fall again. 
I do not know how many days have passed.
Or what time it is.
I remained locked in my room. Not letting anyone enter my sanctuary. I knew they were worried about me, but i do not want to see them now. I knew they were giving me time as they would leave food outside the door, but I never touched anything,.
I do not have the appetite after anything that’s happened. 
It feels to bitter to have a loss. And especily now that I feel all alone. 
While carrying my pup, I felt physical pain.
And now that they are physically gone, I felt emotional pain.
And kai..oh kai.
When will he rescue me here?
Forget that, I don;t think he would come to me here anymore. 
And if he did, what would i say to him?
That i lost our baby?
I could smell Rem was roaming the halls, he has been here for awhile now.
A knock then came after, “Arya?” His voice called out.
I chose to keep quiet,.
He sighed, “Please, eat. We are worried about you. I know you hate me, and don’t want to see me now, but at least let me take care of you.”
Dead silence. I didn’t responded still.
“I apologize for saying that, It was wrong of me. I really regret saying that.”
I scoffed, too late for that. The damage has already been done.
You cannot undo the pain living inside me.
It’s permanently etched in my whole body.
I kept still in my room, not moving.
I did not felt any thirst, hunger.
I laid there on the ground like a lifeless body,
Nothing could make me stand up and fight for a new day now.
I guess this is the end of everything,
All my sufferings, all my pain, nothing could top this point. I had been a fighter fall my life, but I am tired of fighting. 
I am done having to pave way for mysle. Because nothing comes good. Nothing good comes to me. Because this has always been my fate. 
The moon goddess must have hated me so much to punish my life like this. 
I ean, what is there to fight for?
I guess it’s time to just end it all.
I looked at the whole room,, trying to memorize everything.
The feeling of the hard wooden door. The creaking cold hard wood floor.
The messy bed.
The blood everywhere.
I smiled bitterly. I guess this will be my last view in this world.
I tried to look for any sharp object. 
I looked at my delicate wrist.
How should I do it? Hang myself on the ceiling? Or cut my wrist?
I know that they would get sad, but that pain would only be temporary when i am gone. 
I just couldn't stand living this life. This bad luck. 
I couldn't find any sharp object. 
I don’t want to die slowly, I want to do it quickly.
Like an instant death. Doing it will not make me regret anything,. 
But first, I do not want to leave them hanging. I have to leave a quick note. 
I breathed deeply, looking or any piece of paper and pen.
When i saw a paper and pen, I instantly started to write.