After that day Bryle confessed and kissed me, I can’t take it off my mind anymore, especially the kiss. It keeps lingering in my mind that I can’t concentrate on everything that I do — like, doing homework, cleaning the house, listening to the professor’s discussion, or working in the restaurant. It distracts me a lot!
I sometimes pace back and forth in my room or everywhere, that even Sean is getting irritated on my actions. Though my parents never questions it because they think that I was just very excited for my upcoming wedding, which by the way, is on the next two weeks.
That kiss we shared ignited my feelings towards him even more that I sometime feel like having a mental breakdown. The more it gets stronger, the more it pains me.
Even though I ran away from Bryle that day, I still always reply to his messages. We never see each other since then but the wedding plan is finally settled. Everything’s ready, except me.
I have a lot of ‘what if’s’ in my mind right now that no one can even answer it. Not even Bryle. Not even me.
It’s been five days since I last saw Bryle and there’s this inkling feeling inside me saying that I miss him. I keep denying it but I also keep on thinking about him and his confession. Arghh! This is so confusing! He keeps on messing my head that I can’t even sleep properly at night anymore!
“Alwin! Hey, Alwin!”
I snap out from my thoughts when someone harshly slaps my shoulder and yells loudly right in my ear. I immediately scratch my ear irritatedly and look at Paulo.
“What is it?” I ask him but he suddenly glares at me.
“What is it, my ass! I’ve been calling you for quite some time now but you kept on staring at your engagement ring. What’s up with you this time, huh?” He scolds me, “Look around you. There’s no more customer coming in because it’s already closing time yet you’re still here in the counter, admiring your expensive engagement ring. If I didn’t noticed you here, I would’ve probably locked you here inside until morning.”
I look down to the floor, “I’m so sorry, Pau. I just have a lot of things in my mind right now,” I apologize and his glare turns to a worried expression.
“Hey, what’s wrong? You know you can tell me, right?” He says and holds my shoulder.
I contemplate on how to say it and where to start. What should I say? I look up to him and sigh.
“It’s... Bryle...” I start and he frowns.
“Why? What happened? Did he do something bad to you?” He worriedly asks me and I shake my head.
“N-No... H-He... He confessed to me that he likes me, romantically...”
“W-What?”
“H-He wants to m-marry me because he doesn’t want to marry Nika and because... because he’s starting to have a romantic feelings towards me... He wants to marry me because he likes me. I’m so confused right now, Pau.”
“And what about you, Alwin? What do you feel about him?” He asks.
“I-I don’t know... What should I feel about him, Paulo?” I ask pretend in return and he sighs.
“Well... Think about it thoroughly, Alwin. That is your heart so only you can answer that,” he says while pointing at my chest.
“I-I don’t know... But this last five days that we haven’t seen each other, I keep thinking about him and my heart keeps on telling me that I miss him but I keep on denying it.”
“What else?”
I need to let this all out. I need someone to address and correct what I really feel towards him. Who knows, I might be just confused and not really in love with him.
“E-Everytime he’s so close to me, my heart would pound so fast that I feel like it would come out of my chest at any moment,” I start and remember those things I keep on feeling whenever I’m with him, “I feel much happier whenever he’s around. And I can’t narrate everything but, yeah, I’m happy when I’m with him.” He chuckles at what I’ve said before shaking his head. I squint my eyes at his reaction, “What?”
“That— my friend, is the sign of someone falling in love,” he says like it is just some kind of a piece of cake, “You are starting to fall for him, Alwin.”
“W-What? I-I am?”
He nods his head, “Yes, you are.”
How I wish I’m not.
~
Sean and I are currently walking silently along the school’s hallway without minding the other students’ stare on me. I’m kinda used to it by now.
Sean is currently chatting to someone on his phone with a very wide smile plastered on his lips. I’m really curious who he’s chatting with but I stop myself from asking him because I know that he would tell me about it at the end of the day so I just let him be on his own world.
We are heading to the library right now since it’s already break hour. While on the way there, I keep thinking about what Paulo had told me the other day.
‘Am I really falling for him now?’ This is the question I’ve been repeating to ask to myself for hours now even though I clearly know the answer to it.
I was about to turn around the corner but I abruptly halt my steps when I see someone very familiar talking to my teacher and the school’s Principal — Mr. Kraisee, Bryle’s dad. Sean, who is just walking behind me and is still busy on his phone, bumps himself on my back and groans.
“Alwi—”
I immediately cover his mouth before he could even stutter out my name loudly. “Shhh! Be quiet!” I whisper shouts at him before pulling him to the side with me so that the man wouldn’t see us.
I look around and sigh in relief when I see no students around these corner before peeking at where the old man is standing along with my teacher and the Principal. What is he doing here? And why is he talking to my teacher? Oh no! I don’t feel good about this at all. My guts is telling me that Mr. Kraisee’s visit here smells something fishy.
“Why are we hiding, Alwin?” Sean whispers behind me and I glance at him for a second before looking back at Bryle’s dad again.
“Bryle’s dad is here and he is having a conversation with our teacher and the Principal,” I answer him.
“And what’s wrong with that? Isn’t he your soon-to-be father-in-law?” He confusedly asks me.
“I will answer all your questions later, Sean. But for now, we have to get away from here as soon as possible before he sees us,” I say and start jogging the other way. Sean quickly follows me behind.
“But where are we going? There’s no exit this way.”
I abruptly stop in my tracks at what he said and start to panick.
“Shit! What do we do? He would probably command a student to find me since everyone literally knows me!” I say in panick and Sean looks at me worriedly.
“Hey, calm down. I don’t know what’s your deal with Bryle’s dad but I will help you out, okay?” He assures me and starts looking around. He opens a door and peek inside. “We can hide here for a while. This is a janitor’s closet and it’s apparently dark,” he says and we immediately get inside the small closet.
“Shit! This room is so small and suffocating!” I complain in a whisper tone.
“We don’t have any other choice, do we?” Sean retorts before opening the flashlight on his phone.
Shit! I need to find a way to get out of here without Mr. Kraisee noticing. I can’t stay here any longer or else he would start making a search and hunt operation just to find me.
In that moment, I remember Bryle. Of course, Bryle! He needs to know this!
I immediately search for my phone in my bag and dial Bryle’s number. It rings for a second before he answers. Thank goodness!
“B-Bryle!” I stutter his name in a hush tone.
[“Alwin? What’s wrong? Why do you sound like you’re in trouble?”] Bryle asks from the other line. I can hear the worry in his tone.
“Sean and I needs your help right now! Your dad is here! And he is talking to my teacher and the Principal. We are currently hiding inside a janitor’s closed and we can’t get out of here unnoticed!”
I hear shuffling in the background before he response, [“Okay. Text me the exact location of your hiding spot and I will go and get you out as soon as possible. Try to make no sounds. Wait for me and I’ll be there,”] He says in a hurry before cutting the call.
I immediately send him the location and turn to look at Sean who is busy typing on his phone with a frown on his face.
After what feels like eternity, the door opens and Bryle is on the view. “Alwin!” He exclaims and pulls me in for a hug.
I freeze for a second before hugging him back and sigh in relief.
“Thank goodness, you’re finally here! This room is so small!” Sean complains.
Bryle pull away from the hug and looks at me worriedly, “What happened?” He asks.
“Your dad is here and I smell something fishy about his arrival,” I say and he nods his head in understanding.
“Okay. I understand. Let’s get you two out of here now.”