"What on earth is this?" Cameron loudly voiced his frustration, capturing Ethan's attention. "I've attempted to dissect and solve this problem for Biomedical Imaging and Med Device Design for the tenth time, and it's still confounding. This math is just not cutting it."
"You're a Biomedical Engineering student; if you detest math so much, why didn't you switch majors during your first year?" Ethan remarked, staying concentrated on the problem.
"Hey, Tan Tan. It's not my fault if I struggle with Math. Why not point the finger at our instructor in this subject, Mr. Dorovan?" Cameron sighed.
"Don't call me Tan Tan. We're not that close." He snubbed. "And...according to John Locke, we begin with a blank slate or Tabula rasa, and our studies mold our minds. But I don't see that transformation in you; you're still on that blank slate," Ethan chuckled.
Cameron disregarded him, grappling with the problem. When he glanced toward the door, he saw Tret walking in. Cameron was elated and swiftly approached him.
"As if we haven't seen each other in ages. I can sense you need something," Tret guessed, taking a seat.
Cameron hurried back to his chair, seized his paper, and handed it to Tret. Tret smirked upon reading the assignment given by Mr. Dorovan the previous night, due this afternoon.
A. An MRI scanner has a magnetic field strength of 1.5 Tesla. If a proton's gyromagnetic ratio is \(2.675 \times 10^8\) rad/T·s, calculate the Larmor frequency of the protons in the magnetic field.
B. Design a pneumatic compression device that applies a pressure of 40 mmHg to a patient's lower limbs. If the device has an inflatable cuff with a diameter of 10 cm, calculate the force required to inflate the cuff.
Tret raised an amused eyebrow. "You still don't get this? Come closer, sit, I'll explain the formula and steps."
Cameron scowled, shaking his head. "Tret, it's not like we're friends. And... Even if you explain that to me a hundred times, I am not going to get it. It's math. My head hurts just thinking about it," he complained, accompanied by a sigh.
Tret smiled. "Okay," he said. "This would be the last time you're going to ask me to answer your assignment. I won't help you next time."
Cameron clapped his hands as if celebrating a victory. "No problem. That's the last assignment from Mr. Dorovan. Next week, we'll have our academic break."
Tret sighed. "Math is omnipresent. We require it in our discipline and our future work. If you grasp the artistry of the concept of math, you'll come to appreciate it."
He ignored this. He studied the problems on Cameron's paper. What irked him about Cameron was his adeptness at absorbing knowledge when seeking help but a lack of initiative to independently study the subject. Despite this, Cameron and Ethan were good friends, so he refrained from expressing his frustration. Two minutes later, he completed the problem with a detailed solution.
When he gave Cameron his paper and Cameron saw the answer, his face lit up with joy. Cameron pretended to study the solution, yet Tret knew him too well. That was all pretense. Tret smirked upon seeing how Cameron's eyebrows furrowed. He went back to his chair and checked his cell phone. It was eleven-thirty in the morning. He and Han didn't have classes that day.
The scene from last night was a mix of bitterness, pain, and absurdity. Despite the copious amount of alcohol he consumed, he remembered every detail vividly. It was a moment he wished he could flashback to. This felt like the third time he had confessed, and each time, the sincerity in Heo's words brought a painful sting. Heo wasn't the person he anticipated reciprocating his feelings, yet it was evident that Heo cared for him. What held Heo back from reciprocating his love? Heo clarified that falling in love with a best friend wasn't the issue. Could it be Heo's straight orientation contrasting with Tret's bisexuality?
However, one certainty amid uncertainty is that Heo cannot reciprocate his love. He tried to understand it, and a part of him was ready to let go. He had thought about it since last night after his conversation with Heo. He remembered that as he gazed directly into Heo's eyes, they appeared to conceal something. But what is it? He feels like he's searching for answers, yet even in a single question, he finds no definitive response.
Perhaps it would be better for him to return to his old self. His old days with Heo when they weren't so close, when Tret wasn't falling in love with Heo. It was a tranquil period. Tret had grown weary over two years of ascribing meaning to everything, including Heo's efforts and words of affirmation. Lately, he found himself exhausted, repeatedly confessing his feelings. But he knew deep down, no matter how many times he confessed, he still had no chance. Confessing over and over again felt like begging Heo to love him.
But last night, a sudden thought crossed his mind—to let go of his feelings for Heo. There was no doubt in his mind about whether he could do it or if it would be painful. He knew it would be painful, to relinquish his feelings for someone who couldn't reciprocate. Yet, living day by day in expectations and hope seemed even more foolish. He couldn't expect himself to endure the pain of maintaining those expectations. He would rather see himself crying the whole night at the pain of letting go because, eventually, the pain subsided, and with time, the mind buried it in oblivion, even though the heart retained a cage of the memory.
Tret sighed with his thoughts. He looked around. The cheerful faces of his classmates greeted his gaze. Tret hoped, much like Cameron, he could find joy in simple things, such as getting the right answer in Biomedical Imaging. His happiness, however, seems unfair when it depends on the existence of others, deeming it absurd.
His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the sudden popping of his messenger. It was a message from Heo. He checked the time on his cell phone before he checked the message. It was twelve noon. Perhaps Heo and Han were already awake. Perhaps that's why he messaged Tret, because he was thinking about him. He couldn't expect them to wake up early after drinking last night. Heo's message told him to look outside. Excited, he quickly looked outside. He saw Heo. But the first thing Tret noticed was Heo's sweet smile.
He stood up with a sigh of relief. Only when he was outside did he notice Heo carrying a Matcha cream frappuccino and a paper bag from Jollibee. How could he let go of his feelings when Heo started taking care of him in such unconventional ways? "Hi..." he greeted, feeling awkward. It felt as if it were their first meeting, although his mind constantly reminded him that Heo was his best friend. "What are you doing here?" he added, attempting to conceal his awkwardness and the pounding of his heart.
"I noticed you hadn't eaten earlier when you left. I'm sorry I didn't wake up early. I had a headache. I couldn't prepare breakfast for you!" Heo responded with a smile.
"That's why you brought these," Tret pointed to what Heo was holding. "Are these really for me? It would be embarrassing if not!" he chuckled.
"Who else should I bring them to? No one, just you!" Heo winked at Tret.
Tret felt a surge of warmth at Heo's gesture, his cheeks betraying his emotions with a rosy blush. Fortunately, Heo wasn't directly looking at his face, narrowly avoiding noticing Tret's flushed cheeks.
Heo invited him to come downstairs. Despite Tret's inclination to complain about the hassle of going up and down again later, he felt happy to spend time with Heo at that moment, especially since they had no class with Mr. Dorovan that day. Upon descending, they headed to seats under the acacia tree. Heo had brought enough food for two.
"So, what's the plan? Next week is the academic break for a month. Vacation time, huh?" Heo took a bite of his fried chicken and looked straight at Tret. "I think you asked me to spend that time with you, didn't you?"
Tret gazed back at Heo. "No, I didn't mention anything about vacation time to you. Han asked me if I could spend the summer with you."
"Jollibee's chicken is so juicy, right?" Heo interjected, shifting the subject as if intentionally.
Tret nodded. It was his last class that day. He wasn't sure if he would be heading back to Koronadal City yet, but he anticipated Heo joining him as before. When Tret looked at Heo again, he noticed a sudden shift in Heo's expression. Earlier, Heo had seemed lively; now, it appeared as if Heo was preoccupied with something. Tret wanted to ask, but he struggled to find the right words to begin.
"Let's go out tonight!" Heo smiled after finishing his food. He glanced at Tret, who was observing him. Heo sighed. "Would you like me to take you out tonight?" he gently asked again.
"Yes, please," Tret smiled, concealing the pain he sensed in Heo's eyes. "Just wait for me. My class ends at six o'clock this afternoon."
Heo cleaned his hands with a wipe, and when he finished, he leaned forward to wipe Tret's cheek. "I'll be here later to pick you up."
Tret responded with a smile to Heo's words. Heo then took care of cleaning up their trash. Afterward, Heo bid goodbye. Tret remained seated, watching Heo walk away. Once Heo was out of sight, Tret checked his wristwatch and stood up. He encountered Owen on the ground floor of the building.
"Hi, Tret. How are you?" She asked. "You seem so happy. Well, I saw you and Tret a while ago."
Tret felt a slight awkwardness conversing with Owen. What was he supposed to say to her? Would it be appropriate to reply with a cold "Okay" or to ask why she hadn't joined them? The situation felt socially awkward.
"What do you know about your best friend?" Owen asked. "I honestly think best friends should be honest with each other!"
This intrigued him. "What do you mean by that?"
She gave a bitter smile. "Truth hurts. Perhaps you need to learn how to let go, and the hardest lesson for you, perhaps, is how to be alone again."
Tret shook his head. He thought Owen was acting somewhat irrational and insecure, perhaps because she had no chance with his best friend, Heo. He recalled those awkward mornings with Heo. Part of him had been seeking answers for too long, but another part didn't want to know. Owen tapped his shoulder and walked away.