Han messed up his hair and looked deeply into his eyes. "I understand, but to bury those feelings deep down only wastes the chance, and you'll suffer more. It's been two years, I've frequently asked you to confess, how would you know if you have a chance or not..."
Tret shook his head with a bitter expression. "I'll say it again, Heo is my best friend. I can't bear to lose him in that capacity. What would be left for me if I lost both him and the friendship we share?"
Han nodded in understanding. As Tret's friend, he had witnessed the depth of Tret's suffering. "You keep emphasizing that he's your best friend, and everyone knows it. Do you need to come to terms with the fact that it might just be that—just friendship?"
A deep stab pierced Tret's chest at that question. While he acknowledged that they might only remain friends, he couldn't deny his feelings.
"Sorry if it hurts, Tret, but I can't help but feel pity for you. There's not a day or hour when Heo isn't the cause of your tears."
Maybe it wouldn't be unjust if he distanced himself from Heo, even if it meant breaking their friendship. Perhaps time could rebuild it if he managed to let go of his emotions. The corners of his eyes warmed as emotions intensified.
"I won't contradict your love for Heo. Let's assume he values you as a friend. He accepts your bisexuality. But winning his romantic affection wasn't a simple task," he spoke gently, aware that this reality was difficult for Tret.
At that moment his tears seeped. He found himself crying in the arms of Han. Han embraced him and patted his back. He cried until he couldn't breathe. He cried until his throat dried.
It wasn't Heo's fault. He couldn't blame Heo. Every time he cried, he blamed his own feelings. He felt it was wrong. His feelings were wrong. His identity was wrong.
"I love him!" He bawled.
"I know, I know!" That was all Han could say. He felt pity for his friend. "I'm always here for you."
Many girls liked Tret but he rejected them. It was his feelings for Heo that made Tret ignore some people who could love him and his flaws.
"Stop crying. You'll lose your voice later. It's almost five o'clock. Don't you have class?" Han said anything he could just to stop Tret from crying.
His tears continued incessantly. No words came out of his mouth and he hardly swallowed. Amidst his sobbing, he heard the door of Han's room open. He thought it was Wren, another friend of theirs. He felt Wren sit on the bed.
"He's here!" Han whispered as he ruffled Tret's hair.
"What's wrong with him?" came a baritone voice.
Tret stopped crying. The owner of that baritone voice wasn't Wren, it was Heo. He didn't know if Heo woke up because he heard him crying. Even though he was caught crying, Heo didn't know that his feelings were the reason.
"Are you okay, Tret?" Heo asked in a gentle yet sexy voice. "It's three-fifty in the morning, what are you doing here in Han's room? Why are you crying? Did you have a nightmare? Why didn't you wake me up and go to Han's room immediately? Are you okay?" He asked a series of questions, sounding like a child throwing a tantrum but concern was evident in his voice.
Tret moved away from Han and wiped his wet cheeks before facing Heo. Heo was wearing a tank top that he wasn't wearing earlier. Tret swallowed hard as he saw his handsome face. Heo was his weakness.
"I'm okay. It's nothing, just a bad nightmare." He smiled, hoping Heo could notice the pain in his eyes.
Heo approached him and wiped his wet cheeks. Han just watched them. He let out a sigh and no words came out of the room.
"I'm sorry."
Sorry for what? Even though he wanted to speak up and express his feelings, he couldn't. Heo held his face in his warm palms, making him look at him, which made him look back at him. Tret always loved Heo's eyes. His slanted eyes added to Heo's attractiveness.
Heo smiled. He didn't know what it was for. He lowered his hands and pinched Tret's nose. Tret complained, which made Heo laugh.
"Are you into Han?"
So, that was Heo's thought? Did he ever think once that he was falling in love with him? Tret wondered if Heo could think that he's into someone else, then it is possible that Heo could think that his best friend, Tret, possibly falling for him.
"I was just joking. I'm aware you can't date a friend, just like I can't..."
His chest tightened. It wasn't the first time he heard that from Heo. Perhaps, it was a daily reminder. And that was precisely why he hesitated to confess. Heo never dated a friend. Maybe, if he were only a girl, Heo could consider asking him out for a romantic date.
Heo stood up. "Now that you're feeling okay, I don't understand why you didn't wake me up. Let's get back to our room." Heo turned his back but paused, redirecting his gaze back to Tret, who remained seated on Han's bed. "Or, do you want me to carry you?" he added, inquiring.
He laughed. "You go ahead. You have morning class anyway. Go back to sleep. I'll prepare breakfast for us."
However, Heo doesn't listen to Tret. He quickly lifted Tret and when Tret protested, he just lifted him and didn't complain anymore because he might just drop him and besides, he wanted it.
When they were inside his room, he carefully put Tret on the bed and then lay beside him, hugging him tightly.
It wasn't new to him. He always hugged him. Tret closed his eyes and buried his face in his chest.