Two years ago,
Tret had an enchanting evening with Heo, his best friend, as they sat beneath the starry night sky atop a small mountain with clusters of huge rocks. The view of Koronadal City below was breathtaking—a sight to behold in Tret's hometown.
It was the semester break, and since Heo wanted to join him, Tret couldn't refuse. They were both enrolled in a prestigious institution in Davao, Heo's hometown. When Heo came across Tret's post seeking roommates on the Davao City Facebook group, he took the opportunity. Wren and Han, Heo's friends, decided to take the vacant room the day after Heo moved in. With Tret having two beds in his room, Heo opted for the other one, and the spacious arrangement posed no problem.
The two rarely talked. Tret was an introvert. Even though Heo wanted to talk to him, he ignored him. He felt more comfortable with his friend Han. But it happened that Heo became his best friend.
Perhaps as a result of sharing a bathroom and a bedroom, and frequently spending evenings watching movies together. It took months for Tret to feel comfortable speaking with Heo. Despite being a good guy, Heo was a playboy who changed women the same way he changed his clothes.
The second surprise discovery he made about himself was falling in love with Heo. He found it difficult to accept when he initially realized he was attracted to Heo. Heo's presence made Tret feel insane every day. It was an odd love interest since loving a man who was oblivious to your feelings is both too foolish and painfully sad.
Under the starlit sky, Heo pointed out a shooting star's tail, but Tret was more absorbed in admiring Heo's handsome face. Heo's captivating freesia perfume tantalized Tret, making him wish he could be closer. Although close, Heo seemed unreachable. As Heo marveled at the starry sky, Tret seized the chance to capture Heo's graceful profile.
Tret's heart raced, butterflies fluttered, enchanted by Heo's scent and charm. If Tret were a girl, he would confess his feelings to Heo, regardless of the consequences. Yet, societal judgments about same-sex love tortured him as he yearned for a connection beyond friendship.
"Make your wish." Heo smiled.
Tret observed Heo's lips, curious about his wish but refrained from asking, knowing he wasn't part of that wish. Making wishes was a habit for Tret, especially when he gazed at the serene starry sky. He found himself dependent on wishing for stars, all inspired by Heo's name. He longed for the stars to communicate with him.
For once, he wished to hear his name in Heo's wishes.
"It's a perfect place," Heo said, facing Tret. He smiled upon noticing Tret's intense gaze, and Tret didn't blink. "It's a perfect place. If I could ask someone to go out with me, I would probably bring her here." Heo smiled.
Can I be that someone? Yet, I can't be that her!
Heo pinched Tret's left cheek. "What's wrong? You've been observing me for a while now. Is there something wrong with my face?" He teased, pretending to be offended. "Am I ugly?"
You are the most attractive man I have ever seen, so how could I not fall in love with you? Every word you utter is as handsome as you are. How I want to own you by touching your lips.
Tret expelled. Even though he made an effort to disguise his affection for his best friend Heo, his eyes never lied. Although it was a relief, Heo doesn't appear to look into his eyes even for a brief moment. When he felt that Heo doesn't care, it made Tret down in the dumps. But what was he expecting from his friend who was clueless about his feelings?
Heo raised the bottle of beer he held. Only then did Tret realize he also had a beer in hand. He lowered his gaze. Even though he wanted to meet Heo's gaze, he couldn't.
He looked again while Heo drank the beer. Tret swallowed when he saw how Heo's Adam's apple moved up and down.
"So, am I sleeping in the guest room later?" It was their first night in Tret's hometown.
He didn't want to miss a single moment with Heo. He wished to make the most of their time together because painful thoughts lingered—he and Heo were never destined to be more. Tomorrow, or the next day, or months and years later, Heo would find his future spouse.
"I'll sleep with you," Tret blurted out, still fixated on Heo's Adam's apple, gradually shifting his gaze to Heo's reddened lips.
Sexy and sensual looks seemed to have no effect on Heo. Tret occasionally wondered if Heo was trying to seduce him, but it was foolish to entertain such thoughts. Heo desired women, not someone like Tret.
Nevertheless, Heo made Tret's knees tremble, and his hot, naked body could awaken Tret's flaccid member into full erection.
Skilled in pleasuring himself, Tret couldn't help but fantasize about Heo. Recalling an evening when he pleasured himself while thinking about his best friend, Tret had to control his arousal.
It would be embarrassing if Heo noticed the movement beneath his pants due to his manhood attempting to escape.
"That's good then. I don't like the guest room. I prefer being with you!"
Even though he knew the true meaning of Heo's last line, it still made his cheeks flush. He liked Heo a lot, but that wasn't what Heo meant by his words. Heo was never into dating friends.
Heo inclined his face close to Tret's neck. He caught a whiff of Tret's sweet scent. "The bottle will be mad if you don't finish its contents." He chuckled softly while sitting back upright. Earlier, Tret was holding the beer bottle and hadn't taken a sip yet. He had been drinking beer non-stop.
Tret smirked.
"I like this moment."
"Why?" Tret asked softly.
"Why are you asking?" He cutely giggled. Heo looked straight into Tret's eyes. "I like it because I'm with you, my best friend. But why are you so quiet whenever you're with me?" He didn't lower his gaze.
Heo had noticed that for a long time. He wanted to see honesty in Tret's answer to that question.
Tret gulped the beer until the last drop. If there's a way for him to escape Heo's question, he would run away. He couldn't talk especially if he might say that he loved him.
"I khnew it..." He grunted in a hoarse and slang tone. That was normal since he had consumed
He slowly lowered his body onto the soft grass, offering himself. But he didn't expect to be pulled in, falling onto Heo's body. He could feel himself being embraced tightly, with Heo gently stroking his back. It was the first hug from Heo. Perhaps he was able to do it because he was quite drunk.
He could only manage a bitter smile as he listened to every beat of Heo's heart. Though the night was chilly and the starry sky hinted no rain, he felt a coldness, yet Heo's warm body made the chill irrelevant. Two men under the starlit sky, wrapped in an embrace - one asleep, the other shedding tears of inexplicable emotions.
He experienced the feeling of being hugged by someone he secretly loved for the first time. It was both lovely and bitter.