His friend, Han, brought him a plate of scrambled eggs and rice, but Tret just toyed with his spoon and fork. Heo and Wren had already left for their early-morning classes. Han poured milk into Tret's glass, but noticing Tret's grumpy expression, he pouted. Despite his hesitation, Han continued pouring milk into Tret's glass.
Tret's plate remained untouched. After placing a glass of milk near Tret's plate, Han sat down. He hated seeing Tret troubled and losing his appetite because of Heo's presence weighing on his mind. Han hesitated once more, and Tret slowly met Han's gaze, his face still carrying a wry expression.
"The comfort found in his embrace, the tenderness conveyed in that forehead kiss, every gesture—how could anyone resist succumbing to such profound allure?" Tret relinquished his spoon onto the plate, ensnared within the labyrinth of his thoughts. "I believe Heo has sensed the nuances of my feelings, whether long-standing or recent, yet he consciously chooses blissful ignorance."
"Stop kidding yourself, Tret," Han asserted, rising from his seat and heading to the kitchen. When he returned to Tret, he carried a plate of fried sausages. "He knows you're into men. But to him, you're more than that—a best friend, a brother. I've seen him treat others the same way; there's nothing special about it."
He wanted to retract his words when he noticed Tret's darkening mood. Han shouldn't have thrown those words at Tret. He just sighed and placed rice on his plate. When he spoke again, he changed the subject. "The vacation is approaching; where are you planning to go?"
Tret sighed, as if expressing everything in his heart through his breaths, or maybe just how he felt. He picked up his spoon and fork. He needed to eat, to gather energy, especially since he had classes later.
Han's chest loosened as Tret began to eat. Despite Han's painful words, Tret cherished him as a friend.
"Maybe I'll go home," he replied softly.
Han nodded. "I thought you and Heo would spend the vacation together. Name a place, Tret, and I'll help you. But promise me you'll confess your feelings. I hate to see you torture yourself indefinitely."
"Hell no!" Tret protested.
Han sighed. "Is it because Heo is your best friend? If he truly cares, he should be concerned about your feelings too. In the past few weeks, Heo hasn't been dating much, focusing on his major subjects. You should be grateful for that. Unlike the old Heo, who had countless one-night stands, loved girls, and... well, you know. Now is the perfect time to confess your feelings, and you might just have a chance."
He stood up and released a deep sigh. "Might? Hmm... Going on vacation as best friends is a great idea, but confessing my feelings and pretending to be someone else is ridiculous. I want to start by being true to myself," Tret said, clearly flustered.
He glanced at Tret, an unspoken question lingering in his eyes. "So, you're suggesting giving up on your friendship? Returning to being strangers? That seems even more imprudent."
"I can't even steal a kiss when he's sound asleep beside me, even if he's dead drunk. All I can manage is to listen to his heartbeat, purely out of care. I'm not seeking physical intimacy with him." Tret sighed, once, twice, three times. "I have to leave now; it's time for my class."
"You consistently excel academically. Why must loving Heo and mastering mathematics be a conflicting dilemma? I know you detest math," he smiled and continued, "Math happens to be Heo's favorite subject."
"And what does it mean to love someone?" Tret inquired. "To love them is to embrace everything they hold dear. I've fallen for his soul, and despite my attempts to harbor resentment for his imperfections, it proves futile. I've fallen for something that resonates solely in the heart, invisible to the eye."
Han rubbed his forehead. "Alright, coming from someone deeply enamored with his best friend. It's time you go; you might be late. Don't play the saint here; we both know love can be foolish, especially for individuals like you, Mr. Marcus. Yet, I endeavor to believe in love, if only for your sake and your feelings towards your best friend."
"I thank you always for that. Thank you for keeping my secret, even from Wren," he smiled.
"And you want me to spill it?" He smirked.
He raised his eyebrows. "Then forget that we're friends." He turned away and walked to the living room.
"Of course, you can always count on me," Han shouted.
He smiled and went upstairs. He rested in his room. Upon entering, he saw the long sleeve that Heo was supposed to wear earlier. He sat on Heo's bed.
He picked up Heo's long sleeve and brought it close, inhaling its scent. A sweet fragrance with floral undertones filled the air, proving irresistible and seductive. Heo's scent, lingering on the fabric, carried the distinct aura of masculinity, and Tret couldn't help but detect the subtle traces of a heartbreaker woven into the very fibers of his best friend's sleeve.
No matter how well-behaved Heo seemed recently, Tret knew it was temporary. And even if Heo was trying to be good, Tret knew it wasn't for him.
Exactly at ten-thirty in the morning, he arrived at their university. He didn't ask Han for a ride this time, as Han had fallen asleep again after breakfast. He remembered that Heo's classes were over by that time. While thinking of Heo, he remembered the scene from earlier that morning. Even at that moment, he could still feel the tightness of Heo's hug from the early hours. It felt strange, unlike the hugs he had shared with Heo before.
Tret felt a sense of possessiveness in Heo's hugs, thinking they were reserved exclusively for him. Slowly, he withdrew in disappointment, realizing he was nothing more than a little brother to Heo. The roles of best friend and brother left Tret feeling ashamed, yearning for something more. As he walked away, a familiar voice reached his ears, causing him to abruptly stop. Tret had listened to Heo every day, acquainted with every song Heo had ever covered. How could he not recognize Heo's voice?
But in that moment, it felt different. Unlike before when he eagerly anticipated Heo's voice, now it carried a bitter taste. He overheard Heo uttering sweet words to a girl, and the once comforting sound now only intensified Tret's sense of sadness.
Heo cared too much for others, especially for girls who were interested in him. Tret swallowed hard and tried to put on a smile after witnessing how Heo kissed the forehead of that girl, whom he assumed was a Tourism student because of her uniform.
If the girl's beauty was undeniable, the reason he felt insecure and possibly even envious was that he didn't belong in Heo's world. He needed to stop assuming that Heo might love him despite what lies between their legs. His affection for Heo was somewhat disastrous.
"I'll invite you later to my place," she said, trying to act cute. She didn't need to try hard; she was already beautiful, but she wasn't as cute as Tret.
Heo smiled when he saw Tret looking at them. They walked to where he was standing, still watching them. The girl held onto Heo's arm and rested her head on his shoulder.
Tret thought that Heo hadn't been dating anyone recently; lust indeed was inescapable. And what he truly felt was shattered by that scene. Even though he was used to Heo introducing someone to him, he always felt crushed.
She flipped her long brown hair. "Who's this cute guy, Heyooss.."
That irritated Tret even more. He felt like telling her she was being too pretentious. But all he did was smile. "I'm Tret Marcus..."
"He's my best friend," Heo added.
"Tret Marcus, at first, I thought you were just physically attractive, but your voice is surprisingly cute too," Owen Prim stated with a smile that seemed to stretch from ear to ear. "I'm Owen Prim. Your best friend isn't my man yet, but I'll make an effort to charm him..." She leaned in towards Tret. "In bed. Heo appears to excel there."
Tret couldn't care less. Whether or not Heo was skilled in the bedroom was none of his business. It didn't surprise him; after all, girls consistently praised his best friend for his prowess.
Tret stepped back, excusing himself with a forced smile. "Well, I've got a class to attend. Enjoy your day, Owen." His words were a thin veil covering the sizable dagger that had been thrust deep into his heart, leaving it bleeding.
Tret twitched his lips walking away. He expected a few tears to trickle from his eyes. He didn't need to wipe them away. He walked away slowly, wounded, struggling even to draw a breath. His chest felt incredibly tight.
He stopped walking when he heard his name being shouted by Heo. Soon, he felt Heo behind him. He couldn't bring himself to face him because Heo would realize he was crying.
"Are you free tonight?"
Heo asked as if they weren't living in the same room. Tret nodded in response.
"I would like to ask you for night walks. Let's try every street food on the corner."
He nodded. He had classes until eight that evening, and Heo knew that.
"I'll be waiting for you; I'll pick you up later." Heo coaxed.
He smiled and took a step away. Whatever nonsense or favor Heo asked for, he couldn't refuse it. When he glanced back and discreetly looked at Heo, he saw him helping Owen get into her car. Heo smiled bitterly.