I messaged Liam while I was inside the car, letting him know that I wouldn't be riding with him today. After a few minutes, he replied.
"Don't worry about it. I'm going to be late anyway. I'll just see you at school."
The car door opened and Briana was surprised to see me inside. Maybe she didn't expect me to ride with her today.
"Aren't you supposed to ride with Liam?" She asked.
"He's going to be late, so I won't be able to ride with him to school today." I replied while looking out the car window.
Actually, whether he's late or not, I wouldn't have ridden with him anyway. I know I'll just feel awkward, and I don't think I'll ride with him again, especially now that my feelings for him have changed.
Plus, they're making a big deal out of us at school, and I don't want that to escalate.
I don't want to deceive myself with impossible things. Because I know in the end, it will only be me who gets hurt.
Yes, that's what I wanted. To be close to him before, but I wish it didn't happen because I didn't expect that I would eventually fall for him. It would have been better if we had mutual feelings, but I know it's impossible because he still loves his ex until now.
As soon as I entered the classroom, I buried my face in the desk.
This sucks! Why am I feeling like this? I don't want this. I don't want to fall for him.
"Hey! Are you okay?" The guy next to me shook me. I didn't respond and continued to bury my face. His shaking only made me feel worse.
I lifted my head and faced him. "Ken, what's your problem?"
He scratched his head. "Me? You're the one with the problem. I've been trying to get your attention and you're just ignoring me."
I looked away from him. "I'm fine."
"You don't look fine. Wait, you're hungover, aren't you?" He teased.
I glared at him. "No, I'm just sleepy." I lied.
Thankfully, he stopped bothering me, but I knew he wasn't satisfied with my response. I left the classroom for a moment and went to the restroom.
As I was heading back to the classroom, I bumped into Liam in the hallway, right in front of our classroom. Just my luck. Out of all the people I could run into, it had to be him, the one I was trying to avoid.
I pretended not to see him and was about to continue into the classroom when he called my name, stopping me in my tracks.
"Mira, wait." I turned to face him and looked at him. I could feel that he was also uncomfortable around me because he couldn't look me directly in the eyes.
"What is it?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady. Please, hurry up while I still have the strength.
He took a deep breath before speaking. "I just want to clarify what I said to you last night. I told you that you're special to me because we're friends, right? I hope you don't misunderstand that because—" I cut him off. I didn't know why, but I was annoyed by what he said. I knew we were just friends, but it hurt when he made it so obvious. It's like he's implying that I'm assuming I'm more special to him than just a friend.
"I get it, Liam. You don't have to remind me. If you think I misunderstood your words, I'm telling you now, I didn't." With that, I walked into the classroom where our teacher was already prepared to start the lecture.
"Finally! We survived another boring class," Ken exclaimed, stretching his arms after our class ended.
I walked silently and noticed that Ken kept shifting his gaze between Liam and me. Liam was at the back, also quiet and wearing earphones.
I frowned at Ken. "What's your problem?"
"I'm just not used to seeing you and Liam like this. Why are you both so quiet? Did you guys fight?"
"No. Why can't we be quiet sometimes?" I snapped at him.
He shrugged. "You said so." He said while approaching Sophie and Ace, who had been inseparable for a while. He squeezed in between them, causing them to separate. I chuckled a bit. Ken really knows how to ruin their moment.
"Is that all you're going to eat?" Sophie asked me, holding a tray with only iced tea and a chicken sandwich.
I nodded and sat next to her. "I'll eat quickly. I still need to go to the library for a tutoring session."
She leaned her head towards me and whispered. "Is that really the only reason?" she asked, glancing back at Liam and then back at me.
I grimaced. "What are you talking about?"
She immediately stood up and pulled me towards the restroom in the canteen. Luckily, our friends were busy with their food and didn't notice us leaving.
"Now, spit it out." she said as she closed the door to the restroom. It was a good thing that there was no one else here, so we had the whole restroom to ourselves.
I raised an eyebrow at her. "Spit out what?"
"Stop denying it, Mira! Why does it seem like you and Liam are avoiding each other? I've noticed it for a while now, I just didn't say anything."
I suddenly looked down. "Sophie, it's so difficult."
"Difficult in what way?"
"Last night before you guys left, Liam told me that I was becoming special to him, and he just clarified earlier that it was only as a friend. I feel insulted because the way he said it made it seem like I'm assuming there's something more than friendship. It really hurts knowing that I have these feelings for him. Even though he didn't have to say it, I already knew that we were just friends. I just wish he didn't have to make it so obvious."
"It's actually really sweet that he told you that you're special to him. You should be happy because the person you like sees you as someone special, even if it's just as a friend. And I know that you'll be okay with that, but—" She suddenly covered her mouth. "Oh my Gosh, don't tell me—"
I approached her and hugged her tightly. "Yes. I already fell for him."
I hugged her tightly, and then I heard a movement coming from one of the cubicles. It was like there was someone else here.
"What was that?"
Sophie frowned. "What do you mean?"
"Didn't you hear that? There's someone else here." I whispered to her as I peeked into each cubicle, but I didn't see anyone.
"You're just imagining things. But seriously? Are you really serious about your feelings?"
I nodded. "This is so hard, especially since I know that I don't have a chance with him. It's difficult to fall in love with someone who still loves his ex until now."
"I don't think so."
"What do you mean?"
She smiled at me and then glanced at her wristwatch. "I think you're going to be late for your meet-up." I also looked at my wristwatch and she was right. I was going to be late.
I quickly grabbed my things after we left the restroom and headed straight to the library. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to our other friends.
As soon as I entered the library, I saw one of my tutors waiting for me. It seemed like he had been waiting for me for a while. I fixed myself up and approached him. "Sorry if I'm late," I said as I took a seat in front of him.
"It's okay. I just arrived as well," he smiled.
"So, shall we start?" I smiled back. I could feel a good connection with this guy. He wasn't difficult to get along with.
Liam's POV
What happened to that girl? As far as I can remember, I didn't say anything bad to make her annoyed with me. I just clarified to her that she's special to me as a friend so that we won't have any misunderstandings, but why does it seem to be getting worse?
Mira quickly grabbed her things and left the canteen without saying a word.
"What happened to Mira?" Ace asked.
"She's going to be late for her tutoring session, that's why she's in a hurry," Sophie replied, returning to the food she left behind.
After we finished in the canteen, I separated from Ace for a while because I wanted to be alone. I decided to hang out in the school garden since there were only a few people there. As I walked down the hallway towards the garden, I glanced at the library door. And there, I saw Mira with a guy. Maybe he's one of the students she's going to tutor, but are they really studying? From what I can see, they were laughing and seemed really close. I don't know why, but it annoys me to see that.
I was so preoccupied with looking at the two inside the library that I didn't realize Ken was already beside me.
"Bro, are you jealous?" he teased.
"What are you talking about?"
He pointed at Mira by his nose. "Mira and the guy she's with." He said, crossing his arms.
"No way! Why would I be jealous of them? I don't even like Mira to be jealous." I replied, trying to play it cool.
I heard him laugh. "Why are you getting defensive?"
"I don't know, just leave me alone!" I left him standing there and walked away towards the garden. He was just adding to my annoyance.
I sat down and leaned my back against a tree. Finally, there was peace and quiet. In situations like this, I really crave solitude.
I rested my head back and closed my eyes. I was startled when Ken sat down next to me and spoke. "So, you're really going to leave me?"
I glared at him. "I just want to be alone for now, Ken. Go hang out with Ace!"
"So you're going to make me a third wheel?" He retorted.
"Then just be alone too."
"No way, bro. My fan girls might cause more trouble for me. You know I'm handsome," I rolled my eyes at him. He's always so full of himself.
"Just tell me what's bothering you." He continued.
"There's nothing, you're so annoying."
"Don't hide it. I know you too well, Liam. You're the type to push people away when you have problems."
This guy really knows me well. Come to think of it, between him and Ace, he was the first one I became friends with. Our grandfathers were both businessmen who were shareholders and friends, so I've been hanging out and playing with him since we were kids. We only met Ace in grade school, and then we became inseparable.
I sighed. Maybe it's okay to tell him, so at least his pestering has some purpose.
"Hailey is coming back home today, and I found out from Jhea herself that she still loves me."
He raised an eyebrow. "Oh, so what's the problem with that? You should be happy that she's coming back and that she still loves you. Isn't that what you wanted? To talk to her and get back together with Hailey?"
"Yes, but it seems like that's not what I want anymore. Too many things happened this past few days," I said while looking into the distance.
"Do you know why?"
I looked at him. "Why?"
"Because of Mira. She's the one that you like now."
I laughed at what he said. Me liking Mira? That can't be possible. "There you go again, I don't like her. Yes, we've become close, but I only see her as a friend."
He looked at me as if I said something wrong. "Just a friend, really? You're not just fooling me, bro, but also yourself. It's okay if you don't admit it to me, but at least admit to yourself that you like her," he said.
Do I really like Mira?
I don't know why I'm feeling like this, but I'm sure that I don't like Mira.
"Did you guys fight?" He asked again.
"No."
"Then why are you avoiding each other?"
"She's been acting so strange since last night. I told her that she's special to me, and I made it clear to her earlier that it's only as a friend, and then—" I sighed. "I don't know, but she suddenly got annoyed with what I said. I didn't say anything wrong."
He said something, but I couldn't understand because it was faint. [You're not just in denial, you're also numb.]
"What did you say?"
"Never mind. I'll leave you so you can think. It seems like there are still many things you haven't realized." He said before standing up and leaving me.
———
I stepped out of the house, seeking solace in a walk and the fresh air.
I made my way to Mira's place, intending to apologize for whatever I said earlier. As I walked, someone suddenly blocked my path. I looked up and was taken aback to see a familiar face.
"Hailey?"
She smiled at me. "How have you been?"
Compared to the last time I saw her, I could tell she had grown even more beautiful.
"I'm doing okay. What brings you here? I thought I would see you tomorrow."
"I couldn't wait any longer. Can we talk? There are things I need to say to you, and I know you have things to say to me too. 
The girl I had been longing for was finally standing before me. But why didn't I feel the excitement I had expected upon seeing her?
I invited Hailey inside the house so we could have our conversation. We walked towards the garden and saw Quinn, who seemed like she was about to stand up and leave.
"Geunyoneun yogiso muoseul hago innayo?" [Transl. What is she doing here?] Quinn said, her tone filled with hostility.
"Geunyang yaegiman hal kkoeyo." [Transl. We're just going to talk.] I replied. Quinn averted her gaze from me and focused on Hailey, not understanding the words exchanged between Quinn and me.
"I nyon siro nae dongsaenghanteso ttorojo nan nol joahaji ana." Quinn exclaimed, her words sharp and filled with disdain. [Transl. I hate you bitch! Stay away from my brother. I don't like you.]
Hailey furrowed her brow in confusion, unable to comprehend what Quinn was saying. I cast a subtle glare at my sister, silently urging her to stop her hostility towards Hailey.
Quinn put on a fake smile. "That means, nice to see you again, Unnie."
She returned the smile. "Nice to see you too."
My bratty little sister giggled slightly. "I'll go first." she said, giving me a quick goodbye before walking away. "Don't you dare get back together with her. If you do, I'll disown you as my brother!" She whispered, just loud enough for Hailey not to hear.
"You know, your sister is really sweet." She said, her eyes fixed on Quinn as she walked away.
"Yep, she is." I lied. If only she knew that she just called her a bitch. 
We sat down in the garden and started talking. "So, what are we going to talk about?" 
It was clear from her expression that she couldn't believe what I had just said. "Seriously? Don't you have any idea what we need to talk about? Liam, we really need to discuss our relationship." 
"Oh yeah." I muttered absentmindedly. Why did I even bother asking? It's so obvious that we need to talk about us. 
"I talked to Chris earlier. I told him to stop pursuing me and it would be nice if we could just be friends." 
"What?! Why did you do that?" 
Once again, she couldn't believe what I had just said. "Liam, what's going on with you? Aren't you supposed to be happy because you already have no competition? I did it because I wanted to give our relationship another chance. For both of us!" She held my hand, which was resting on the table. "I know you still love me, and I've come to realize that I still love you too." 
I squeezed her hand. "I know, and I feel the same way." I said, unsure if I truly meant it. Why did it feel like I was forcing myself to say those words to her? Something didn't feel right. "But do you really think this will work out again? I don't want to see you get hurt anymore, Hailey."
"But you told Jhea that you still love me, right? I know you regret what happened in the past, and I know you won't do it again to me." She pleaded, her voice filled with desperation. 
"I did say that, and I meant it. But so many things have changed in the past few months and—" She interrupted me.
"Do you love someone else now?" She asked seriously, but I could sense the tears welling up in her eyes. She was on the verge of crying.
Instead of answering, I pulled her into a tight embrace.
"Tell me, do you love someone else now? Have you moved on from me?" I felt her tears soaking into my shoulder. She was crying.
I let go of the embrace and faced her. Using my fingertips, I gently wiped away her tears. Even though my feelings for her had changed, it still pained me to see her cry. I still cared deeply for her.
"I don't love anyone else." I said, but it felt hollow. Do I really mean that? I held her face in my hands, searching for answers. 
"But it feels like you're holding something back." She said, her voice filled with confusion. 
"What if I'm not the right one for you? What if Chris is the man who can give you the love you truly deserve? I'm scared of hurting you again, and I can't bear the thought of it happening once more," I confessed, sharing my fears. 
"So you're just giving up on us like that?" 
I lowered my gaze. "It's not like that. Just give me some time, Hailey." 
"No matter how long it takes, I'll wait for you." Hailey said. It was strange to see her like this. I was used to being pursued by women, but she was different. I used to be the one chasing after her, completely infatuated. I couldn't believe that now, it seemed like she was the one chasing after me.
"I'm sorry for being so complicated and messing everything up." I apologized, taking responsibility.
She forced a smile. "It's okay. I understand, and it's actually my fault. If I hadn't pushed you away before, maybe we would still be together."
"Don't blame yourself."
After our conversation, I walked her to the door and hugged her once again, hoping to provide some comfort.
As I was about to go back inside, I noticed Quinn leaning against the front door of the house.
"Do you still love her?" She asked as I approached her.
"I don't know. After everything that has happened, I'm not sure anymore."
"Is it because of Mira?" She questioned.
I looked at her in surprise. "What are you talking about?"
"Don't pretend, big brother. You're not confused about whether you still want Hailey or not. You're just struggling to accept that you don't love her anymore and that you're in love with Mira now."
Instead of answering, I playfully ruffled her hair and walked past her. "Go to sleep." 
I could sense her rolling his eyes. "Seriously?! Sort out your feelings!"
I chuckled at her remark and ignored her, making my way up to my room.
I stared at the picture of Hailey and me that was still saved in my camera roll. It had been there for so long, a constant reminder of the past. 
I was almost over her, but then she came back into my life.