If there was one surprising thing that happened today, it was Jhea coming home without any warning. She didn't even let us know she was back, so it was a huge shock when she called us while Sophie and I were at the coffee shop.
 
Little did we know, while we were talking to her on the phone, she was actually sitting at a nearby table.
 
"What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to come home next week?" Sophie asked, completely taken aback.
 
"Don't you even miss me? You guys gave me such a warm welcome." She said, pouting. Among all the girls who pout, she's the only one who doesn't look good doing it because she has a bit of a boyish vibe.
 
"Yeah, yeah. We missed you. And stop pouting, it doesn't suit you." I teased her.
 
She was about to playfully hit me, but she didn't follow through.
 
"But seriously, when did you come home?" Sophie asked again.
 
"Just a while ago."
 
"So much has happened while you were gone. Good thing you decided to come back."
 
"You guys are so mean to me! But on a different note, is it true that Briana is the reason why you and Ace made up?"
 
"Yeah. It was just a misunderstanding. It's funny how Briana was able to change."
 
Jhea furrowed her brows. "You let yourself fell for it." She whispered.
 
"They're friends now." I replied to her, also in a hushed tone.
 
"Really?!"
 
I nodded and gave her a meaningful look.
 
Sophie glared at us. "What are you two talking about regarding me?"
 
"Nothing. You're just assuming, we weren't even talking about you." I denied.
 
"By the way, isn't your cousin with you? Introduce her to us!" I changed the topic.
 
"Yeah, where is she? Let us meet her." Sophie chimed in.
 
Jhea suddenly fell silent, as if we said something wrong.
 
"Hey, are you okay? Why did your expression change all of a sudden?" I asked.
 
"I think it's time I tell you the truth." She said, mustering a smile. She took a sip of her drink before she continued speaking.
——–
We were almost frozen in place, unable to comprehend what we just heard. It still hadn't fully sunk in for me. Hailey, Liam's ex, and the Hailey that Chris is pursuing are the same person, and to make it even more surprising, she's Jhea's cousin.
 
"Are you just going to stand there in shock?" Jhea snapped at us, her gaze shifting between me and Sophie.
 
"W-why did you only tell us now?" I finally managed to ask.
 
"I was scared that you would find out." Jhea sighed. "You know that I prioritize family over friends, right? I was hesitant to tell you because I didn't want you to be upset with me once you found out. And on top of that, I've been helping Liam get back together with Hailey. Chris is your brother, and I know that despite being annoyed with him at times, you don't want to see him hurt. And as for Mira, I know you have a crush on Liam. You've become even closer recently, but you haven't fallen for him, right?"
 
Sophie and I exchanged glances, processing what Jhea just revealed.
 
I nervously chuckled. "Come on, that's not going to happen! I won't fall in love with him. It's just a mere crush. No strings attached." I denied. "Right, Sophie?" I stared at her intently.
 
"Y-yeah! I'll definitely smack Mira if she falls for Liam."
 
Jhea forced a weak smile. "I'm sorry, guys. You don't know how difficult this is for me. Even though you're not directly involved, you're still affected. I just want my cousin to be happy. I don't want to see her hurt, especially if she's pretending that she's okay." She explained.
 
I placed my hand on her shoulder. "It's alright. We understand. What's the point of being your friend if we can't understand you, right? You're doing this for your cousin's happiness, and we completely understand that. Besides, even if you didn't help them, they would still end up together because we know they still love each other." As I said those words, a sharp pang of pain shot through my heart.
———
Sophie stopped her car in front of the house. I was about to say goodbye when she suddenly spoke up.
 
"Are you really okay?" She asked, looking at me intently. I could see the concern in her eyes.
 
I smiled at her. "Of course." I lied.
 
"You can't fool me, Mira. I know you're not okay. After admitting to me that you love Liam, do you really think I'll believe that you're fine?" Oh right, I was talking to Sophie. No matter how much I try to hide things from her, she knows me too well. She's not easily convinced by me, but why is she so quick to believe Briana?
 
I leaned back on my seat. "From the very beginning, I knew my feelings for him were changing. Whenever our eyes met, I felt something different, something unexplainable. I knew I liked Liam, but I also knew it was a mistake. However, that simple crush eventually turned into deep love. Perhaps, I need to put an end to these feelings before it gets too complicated because it's absolutely wrong." I explained.
 
"You don't have to. Sometimes, you need to be selfish with your own feelings. Are you just going to give up so easily?" She questioned.
 
"What do you want me to do? Hope for something that will never happen? Hope that I can be Hailey instead? You know what really hurts? I can't be that girl. I can't be like his ex."
 
I paused for a moment, feeling like I was about to break. I calmed myself and continued speaking.
 
"I envy her. I envy Hailey for having everything she could ever wish for, not just Liam, but the world that revolves around him. She's adored, loved, and cared for by someone so special. I can't do anything about this foolish feeling I have for him because it's my own fault. It's my fault for falling for a guy who will never love me back, a guy who only sees me as a friend."
 
"You're being too dramatic." She teased. Before I could react to her comment, she spoke again. "Why don't you try reading everything in Liam's diary?"
 
Is she going crazy? What does that have to do with what I'm feeling right now? It will only add to the pain if I continue reading his diary, especially since most of it is about his feelings for his ex.
 
I just glared at her in response.
 
"Who knows, maybe you'll find the answers you're looking for in his diary."
 
"What answers? Most of what's written there is about his feelings for his ex. Is that it? The answer that I'll forever cling to false hope? Sophie, I know already. Don't rub it in."
 
"Stupid, not that." 
 
"Then what?"
 
"Maybe his diary also holds his feelings for you. Maybe you'll find out that he feels the same way about you." She suggested.
 
I shook my head. "You're going crazy."
 
"Isn't that how it goes in movies? In the books you read. Who knows, maybe the same thing will happen to you." She said, trying to offer a glimmer of hope.
 
"They're just fantasies, Sophie. It's different in real life."
 
"Just trust me."
 
I shook my head at her. "You know what, I think I need to go inside, and you need to leave. Maybe your brother needs you there."
 
"My brother is strong, and I know he can handle it. It's you that I'm worried about."
 
"Don't worry about me. My feelings for him will eventually fade away." I assured her.
 
She suddenly burst into laughter, causing me to furrow my brows at her once again. "What's so funny?"
 
"Nothing, I just realized that both exes are heartbroken because of their exes too."
 
Her words made me pause and think, but eventually, I couldn't help but burst into laughter as well.
I walked inside after Sophie left and checked my social media before taking a shower and going to bed.
 
As I was scrolling, a message from Liam popped up. It was ironic that the person I was trying to avoid was the one reaching out to me.
 
I immediately opened his message.
 
Liam: 'You still up?'
 
[Yup. Why?]
 
Liam: You still mad at me? I just wanted to say sorry.
 
[You don't have to apologize to me. I'm the one who should be saying sorry for getting angry at you for no reason. I'm sorry, and no, I'm not mad at you.]
 
Liam: Okay, I thought you were mad at me. Well, I'll just see you tomorrow then. :)
 
[Tomorrow?]
 
Liam: You forgot already? We have a group study tomorrow, remember?
 
Oh, that's right. I almost forgot we have a group study tomorrow. What should I do now? Ever since I realized I have feelings for Liam, I find it hard to be around him and see him. I'll just leave it to fate tomorrow. At least Sophie and the others will be there too, so I hope everything will be okay.
 
[Oh, right. See you then. Bye.]
 
I was about to turn off my phone when I saw him typing again. What else does he want to say? I waited for his message until he finally sent it.
 
Liam: Mira...
 
After all that typing, he just said my name. Was it really that difficult to type four letters of my name?
 
[Yes?]
 
Liam: Goodnight :)
 
[:)]
 
I immediately turned off my phone. I didn't wait for him to reply or if there was anything else he wanted to say.
 
That's it. A simple goodnight from him gave me butterflies in my stomach. That's why I need to avoid him. The more I talk to him and see him, the stronger my feelings for him become.
 
I don't want to find myself hoping for him because, in the end, I know I'll be the one who gets hurt.