I woke up to Yuan jumping on me. This dog really loves to wake me up.
 
I think I fell asleep past midnight last night because I couldn't seem to get any sleep. Before getting up, I grabbed my phone from the side table.
 
Notifications from my social media greeted me, along with a few messages. I immediately checked who messaged me, hoping that Liam would have sent me a message since he usually says good morning every day. I went through all the messages, but Liam's name was nowhere to be found.
 
Is he really mad at me because of what happened last night? If he's mad, then I'm mad too. Well, that's his problem. I wouldn't have said those things to him if he didn't start it. He's just too immature. I admit that I was wrong with what I said to him, but he's also at fault. He jumped to the conclusion that Zed likes me even though there's nothing there.
 
Is he mad? Well, then I'm mad at him too! I'll put on my pride now. I have the right, don't I? I won't apologize to him for now. 
 
I got up to get ready and walked towards the door afterward.
 
Just as I opened my room, Briana also opened her door at the same time. She just looked at me, then walked past me and headed down the stairs.
I'm used to the cold atmosphere between Briana and me. We don't fight, but we don't really acknowledge each other either. We just pass each other by, whether at school or at home, as if we don't know each other. We only interact when we have questions or when we're in the mood, but the awkwardness and pretense are still there.
 
People do change. We're entirely different from how we used to be when we saw eye to eye, but that changed when she betrayed me. I don't understand why she suddenly became a stranger to me.
 
She used to be shy and quiet around others, but when she was with Kisha and me, she was very chatty. She was the typical nerd or wallflower who didn't know how to interact with others. In contrast, Kisha and I loved socializing; we were friendly and easily caught people's attention, unlike Briana who was aloof.
 
It's funny how, years later, everything reversed. She became like the old me, and I became like her. I don't know how that happened or why, over time, I preferred to keep my distance from people, a far cry from who I used to be. But thankfully, I gradually returned to being the old Mira.
 
I thought Briana changed for the better, but she literally transformed into someone I no longer recognized.
 
Life is so complicated. It's often those closest to you, your own flesh and blood, who break the trust you have in them. On the other hand, those who are not related to you can be the ones who treat you well and don't abuse your trust.
———
It was Sunday, and I went to church with Sophie and Mady. After the service, we decided to eat at a fast food chain. We've been spending a lot of time together, especially since Mady started dating Ken. In fact, she wanted to be friends with us even before that, but she was just shy around us, so sometimes she would be alone in the classroom or would endure being with Alex.
 
"What? You shouldn't have said that to Liam." Mady commented after I told them about my argument with Liam last night.
 
"Why not? I don't see any problem there. She's just telling the truth." Sophie replied, raising an eyebrow.
 
"Liam is just being jealous of Zed. Maybe he's being a bit dramatic, but I think he has the right to be because he's courting Mira."
 
"I know. But Liam seems to be quite immature, he has no reason to be jealous of Zed." Sophie took a sip of her drink before continuing. "Zed just gave Mira a ride home, and there was nothing malicious about it because they're just friends. If he truly loves her, he should understand and respect Mira's choices and who she wants to be friends with."
 
"I think we should understand him." Mady replied briefly before biting into her burger.
 
"Understand? I don't know how to understand him, especially when his reaction is so unreasonable." Sophie rolled her eyes.
 
"What do you mean unreasonable?" Mady asked.
 
She heaved a sigh. "He's mad that Zed drove Mira home. What does he want? For her to commute? It's late and it's dangerous. If she waits for Liam to go with her, then she'll just get home even more late. Sure, he's handsome, but sometimes he can be so clueless."
I stayed quiet, just listening to their back-and-forth, my gaze shifting between the two of them.
 
"I understand your point. Maybe Mira just needs to adjust to Liam's bouts of jealousy. After all, he is courting her and he has a right to be a bit possessive."
 
"Seriously, Mady, adjust?! Are you kidding? Liam should be the one to adjust. He's being irrational. He's with Mira almost every day, and they live close to each other, so I don't think he has any reason to be jealous. Mira spends most of her time with Liam, so he can't forbid her from being friends with any guy, especially Zed." Sophie crossed her arms.
 
"Perhaps both of us should be the ones to adjust." I finally spoke up. "It's hard, we're not even together yet, but we're already having misunderstandings. What more if I say yes to him?"
 
"Why is he so insecure? He practically has everything." Sophie complained, taking a bite of her food.
 
"He's not insecure, he's just jealous." Mady corrected her.
 
"Okay, fine, jealous." She replied and then turned to me. "Mira, why don't you explain to him that he has nothing to be jealous about? Tell him you and Zed are just friends."
 
"That's right." Mady agreed. Finally, they were on the same page.
 
"I did explain it to him. I practically spelled out to him that we're just friends, but it seems like it didn't sink in. That's why, out of frustration, I said those things to him."
 
"That's better. It's good that you said those harsh things to him to wake him up. You should have been even more brutal." Sophie shrugged as she said this.
 
"Hey, that's too much, Sophie. That's still hurtful, you know." Mady reacted.
"I know I was wrong, but I just wanted Liam to realize his mistake."
 
Mady nodded, seeming to agree. "But Mira, you still need to apologize. He may be at fault, but you shouldn't have said those things. Tell him you really regret what you said. I'm sure he'll understand."
 
"I hate to say this, but I think Mady's right. Even though I was a bit delighted by your response to Liam, you still need to apologize."
 
I looked at both of them, both staring at me. "I know. I feel so guilty about what I said to him but ..."
 
"But what?" They both asked simultaneously.
 
"I'll try."
 
"Cliché as it sounds, but don't try Mira, do it." Mady said, and Sophie nodded in agreement.
 
"If he's the first one to approach me tomorrow, I'll apologize, but if not, it's his problem." I stubbornly said.
 
"Huh?" Mady reacted in confusion.
 
"So it's a battle of pride then?" Sophie retorted.
 
"Yes."
 
"Mira—" I cut them off.
 
"Enough! If he's mad, then I'm mad at him too."
 
They both just looked at each other after what I said.
———
I quickly got out of the car as soon as Manong Raul stopped in front of the school gate. Liam didn't pick me up this morning. Actually, even if he did, I wouldn't have ridden with him. He's probably really mad at me since he hasn't made any contact since yesterday.
 
Honestly, I don't want to engage in a battle of pride with him, but I can't help it. I'm scared that if I'm the first to talk to him, he might not accept my apology. So I'll just wait for him to approach me first, to make sure he's okay with me. Smart, right?
 
I didn't wait for Briana and walked ahead. We don't get along anyway, so there's no reason for me to wait for her.
 
A lot of eyes followed me, especially when I entered our classroom building. They're probably wondering why I didn't arrive with Liam. I ignored them and let them mind their own business. I went straight to my locker to put some of my stuff away. I closed it and when I turned around, I saw Zed standing in front of me.
 
"Hey, Mira!"
 
The students in the hallway automatically turned their attention to us, whispering loud enough for everyone to hear.
 
"Look, it's Zed and Mira!"
 
"So the post on the page was true."
 
"Wow, isn't Liam enough for her?"
 
"She knows the guy has a fiancé and she's still flirting with him."
 
"They're really flirting here."
 
I closed my eyes in annoyance. Don't they have anything better to do than gossip? I know Sophie and I do it too, but we're not as intense as they are.
 
Zed seemed to get annoyed by the whispers because the smile he greeted me with earlier disappeared. Before I could calm him down, he suddenly smashed a locker with a bat that I didn't know where he got from, causing a loud noise that attracted the attention of the students.
"Hey, listen up!" He spoke with authority to the students. "Me and Mira are just friends. Can you stop giving it a different meaning just because we're together?! That damn post on the page is not true! This is the second time I've heard you all talking about us, and you won't like what I'll do. Do you understand?! So, while it's still early, cut it out. You're here to study, not gossip!"
 
The students who were whispering earlier quickly lowered their heads. Some of them left. I heard a few apologies, but I didn't pay them any attention.
 
"You shouldn't have done that." I told him.
 
"They wouldn't stop if I didn't do it, and besides, they've gone too far."
 
"To be honest, I didn't expect you to do that. Thanks, though." I glanced at him and smiled.
 
"It's nothing." He smiled back at me.
 
I walked alongside Zed since our classroom was on the way to his. As we walked, I couldn't help but laugh at the silly stories he shared with me.
 
"I guess this is the part where we part ways, Zed. Thanks again." I said as I stopped in front of our classroom.
Before Zed could respond, Liam appeared in front of us with a stoic expression. His bag slung over his other shoulder, and one hand in his pocket. He simply walked past us and entered the classroom without even looking or acknowledging me. Was he really that hurt by what I said? Or was he acting that way because he caught us together with Zed?
 
"Your suitor seems to have a bad aura." Zed commented, following Liam's gaze.
 
"That's just how he is. A-alright, Zed, thanks again." I didn't wait for his response. I immediately entered the classroom without glancing back at him.
 
The whole class ended without anyone speaking among our group of friends. Perhaps they could sense the tension building up between Liam and me.
 
"Mira, can you please take these files to the faculty room?" Sir asked me after I submitted my completed seatwork. It seemed like I was the first one to finish.
 
"Sure, Sir."
 
"Who's done here? Mira needs help carrying these files since she has a lot." Sir commented to my classmates.
 
"Ah, Sir, Liam is already done." It was evident from Liam's face that he was surprised by Ken's statement. I also noticed that he hadn't been writing anything for a while.
 
"W-what? I'm not done yet!" He protested.
 
"What do you mean not done? I can clearly see from your paper that you're done. Plus, you haven't been writing anything for a while." Ace added.
 
"That's right, Liam, help her out." Mady and Sophie chimed in.
 
I gave the four of them a stern look, as it was clear they were up to something again.
 
Liam didn't have any choice but to agreed to accompany me in bringing some files to the office. We walked silently in the hallway, with me slightly ahead of him. Could there be anything more awkward than this? If only I could carry all the files myself, but I couldn't, so I had no choice.
 
After placing the files on the table, I quickly left the office without waiting for him. As I was about to descend the stairs, I suddenly slipped on something slippery. Thinking I was about to fall, I closed my eyes and braced myself for impact, but it never came. When I opened my eyes, I found myself locked in Liam's gaze. He had caught me. His face was right in front of mine, and I could see the concern in his eyes.
 
I quickly pulled away from him and avoided his gaze, realizing that he had actually caught me.
 
"Are you okay? Does something hurt?" He asked me one question after another.
 
"I'm fine." I replied curtly. I was about to turn away when he spoke again.
 
"You're the one I helped, and yet you're still getting angry?"
 
"What's your problem?!" I snapped at him.
 
"You." He stared straight into my eyes. I couldn't tell if he was angry or what.
 
I glared at him. "Well, thank you. I'm okay now. Is that enough?" I once again about to turn away. 
 
"Walking out again?" He said with a hint of sarcasm.
 
This time, frustration made me close my eyes. Earlier, he just passed me by as if he didn't know me, and now, he won't leave me alone. What does he really want? I'm just giving him the same treatment he gave me earlier.
 
I faced him again. "What now?! What's your problem?"
 
"Look, why do you seem like you don't care about how I feel?"
 
"What are you talking about? Will you go straight to the point!"
 
"I know that everything you said that night was true, but I was also deeply hurt, Mira. Instead of saying sorry, you just walked away. I waited for you to call me, message me, or even approach me first, but you didn't do any of that. Why does it seem like I'm the one who hurt you?" Seriously, he's too immature.
 
"You're acting so childish. You don't seem like a man, Liam. So I should be the one to make the first move? Isn't it supposed to be the man who does that?" I raised an eyebrow at him.
 
He looked at me in disbelief. "Call me childish if you want. It's not always us who should be the ones adjusting. We have feelings too, and we get hurt as well. We also want to feel the effort and care that we show to you, even just once. Yes, I'm a guy, but I also need to feel that you care for me."
 
And for the second time, I was taken aback. He's right. He also needs to feel the care that he always shows me. He's always there when I need him, but what did I do? I didn't care about his feelings because all I was thinking about was my pride. My femininity.
 
"Liam, I'm sorr—" I was cut off because he spoke again.
 
"You did change. You're not the same Mira I knew." He said as he walked away, leaving me standing here, feeling guilty and ashamed of myself.
 
What have I done?