*  To marry well, marry your best friend. *
****
   The loneliness I feel is deep. 
    So deep that I believe no one can understand. 
There are people around, most I could call friends but none can compare to my Best friend.
I miss him, diary. 
Though it's been just three weeks, yet it feels like an eternity. 
Who would have thought that someone will become so important to me that their absence makes me feel empty. 
Is this feeling okay? 
What if I'm obsessing over him too much? 
Most especially when he doesn't feel the same. 
The truth is, I love him.
But does he really feel the same? 
I honestly doubt that, because if he does then he wouldn't have been able to stay away from me that much. 
The pain is real.
Sometimes I wonder, if I am feeling it because he is my best friend or because I love him, it's probably both, I guess.
Will he ever come back?
Will our friendship ever be the same? 
Are we going to remain broken up? 
Should I keep expecting or should I teach myself to let go? 
What exactly should I do? 
Should I keep hoping or should I give up? 
Hope is very dangerous and risky. 
But being hopeless is no better, is it?
He is my Best friend.
But why does his absence feel like a part of me is missing?
Have I grown too attached to him that it's almost difficult to live without him?
Is this separation for the best?
Maybe we aren't meant to be.
Or maybe, we are meant to stay separated for a while before we come back.
What's the best explanation for this actually?
I love him, he doesn't.
He loves someone else, but I'm still holding on to him. 
Am I stupid for being hopeful?
Will it never stop hurting?
Will I have to get used to the pain? 
Will I ever be free from it? 
Will I?
God, where are you in all this?
If we weren't going to be together.
Why then did you make our paths cross? 
Why?
Is this separation part of the bigger picture? 
Or am I too blind to see the reality that we just aren't meant to be?
What's the best explanation for all this actually? 
Should I keep hoping? Or should I give up?
Maybe I'm not good enough for him.
Maybe she's a better match than me.
But you know what?
I'm not interested in being his girlfriend, I'm only interested in being his best friend.
Does that make sense? 
Or am I just dreaming?
Will I ever get my Bestie back?
Or will I have to get used to not having a Bestie? 
Does Bestie realize just how much I miss him?
Or is he too occupied with thoughts of her to even do?
Maybe, I'm thinking too much.
Maybe I'm hoping too much.
I guess I simply have to focus on my life and goals. 
I guess it's high time I've realized that I'm not good enough for him and he doesn't need me in his life. 
Because if he does, why would he abandon me?
Why?
Well, it hurts, but I just have to realize that sometimes, things won't go as I planned and I just have to accept it that way.
I'll be fine, dairy.
Take care.
****
Joseph had never thought reading through Mira's journal from seven years ago could make him this emotional.
He obviously didn't realize how much pain and confusion he had put her through when he decided to cut ties with her then.
How blind and stupid could he have been exactly
He'd actually left gold to settle for the case. If that's not stupidity then what is it? Exactly what?
Nevertheless, he was thankful he came back to his senses earlier or he would have regretted it.
Slowly,
He wrote her a letter.
A response to hers.
It might have been years, yet he believes he owes her a reply.
So he did.
The letter. 
Dearest Bess, 
   I don't know what to say.
Having read your journal, I'm not sure I deserve your love and care. 
I'm sorry, Bess.
Sorry for being so stupid that I hurt you. 
I was your best friend and my primary obligation is to be there for you, but I failed you.
I wasn't there when you needed me the most. 
Isn't it funny how I always claimed to be the mature one, yet I acted like a child. 
I thought you were a hindrance to my happiness. 
I believed you were holding me back from being all I can be.
How wrong I was. 
Bess, I was stupid to believe I'd be better off without you.
I tried moving on without you.
But you saw what came out of it, didn't you? 
I'm sorry for every tear that dropped. 
I'm sorry for the heartaches I have caused you. 
I'm sorry for not being there. 
I'm sorry for the lonely moments. 
I'm sorry for not reaching out. 
I'm sorry for the countless broken promises. 
I had promised to always be there for you, hadn't I?
I'm sorry I wasn't able to fulfill that. 
I'm honestly sorry for the broken promises.
I made you doubt your worth in my life. I rejected you, Miranda!
I treated you like air, whereas, you were a treasure.
I'm sorry I didn't care about your pain or how you handled it. 
I'm sorry, Miranda.
The fountain pen fell from my hands as the emotion I felt was just too great, I found it difficult to comprehend how much pain I had put my baby girl through.
Though it's been years already, yet the emotions in her words were still very raw.
How could I be so stupid?
How could I not have figured that Miranda was the one I truly loved? 
How could I have abandoned her in the quest to choose Vera? 
How? 
I didn't know tears were streaming down my face until my assistant tapped me on the shoulders and handed me a handkerchief.  “ Thank you. ” I replied after wiping off my tears. 
    “ I read somewhere that men are strong when it comes to physical strength, while women are strong when it comes to emotional strength. ” His words rang in my ears and I couldn't help but agree.
Just then, the doors of the emergency room opened and a doctor came out. 
  I immediately walked towards him.
….
A/N : What do you think, guys?