“ Nothing can ever compare to the joy of motherhood. ”
***
—- Evelyn —-
My heart leapt in my chest as I waited for the pregnancy kit to load and finally it did. 
The two red lines on it caused my heart to sink… “ No, it can't be… ” I shook my head hysterically, obviously not believing my eyes. 
I've always been a lover of children, yeah. But I’m still having doubts on whether I want to have them with Evans and definitely not so soon. 
   I am still not totally convinced that Evans has changed, because if one thing, change is a continuous process which doesn't occur in a day. 
  But what now? 
I'm pregnant, 
I'm meant to be happy.
But why can't I be? 
“ Babe, you — ” I turned in shock towards the door. I'd forgotten about the kit in my hands until I saw his gaze. 
I covered it up with my hands as he advanced towards me.  “ Evelyn. Are you okay? ” 
‘ I'm not okay. ’ I desperately wanted to scream. But I didn't.  “ I'm alright. ” 
“ What's that? ” He stretched his hands towards me and I subconsciously dropped the kit on his palms.  My thumped as his gaze fixed on the kit in his palms. 
“ If I'm not wrong, two red lines means you are pregnant, right? ” 
His direct question didn't make me feel any better.  So I simply stared at him.  “ Are you pregnant, Evie? ” 
“ Hm… ” I nodded, suddenly feeling cold under his gaze.  I honestly didn't know how to feel and how he'll react. 
“ You… ” I didn't understand what was happening until he wrapped me up in his arms tightly. “ We are going to be parents, Evie. I'm so happy. ”
Thump.
Thump. 
What's going on exactly? 
Shouldn't he cry and deny the authenticity of the pregnancy?
Why then is he acting so weird?
“ Evans… ” His hold on me eased and I was now staring at him face to face. 
“ Are you sure? ” 
“ Sure? What do you mean? ” He stared at me with utter confusion in his eyes. 
“ About this baby. ”
“ You think I don't want it? ” I almost cried at the intensity of his words.  “ I don't know. ” My legs weakened and I sat on the ground in my jumpsuit. 
“ Babe… ” He crouched in front of me as he cupped my face and I was now staring into those green eyes that I'd grown to fall in love with. 
“ I love you… ” I searched his eyes and couldn't catch any trace of dishonesty. 
“ I know I haven't been the best boyfriend but I'll strive to be the best husband and father for you and our baby, Evielyn. ” I felt tears streaming down my face at his words.  “ You deserve better, Evie. But you chose me. ” 
“ No, Evans, you are too good for me. ” 
“ That's not true. ”
“ That's — ” He silenced me with a kiss and we ended up making out on the cold floor for minutes before we separated. 
“ Don't you think we need to go to the hospital for a check up? ” I stared at him wondering if that's actually needed. 
 “ Is it necessary? ”
“ It is. ” He pulled me out of the floor before I could refute and soon we were in my wardrobe choosing clothes. 
 “ For a first time would be  mother, aren't you craving something? ” I stared at him in wonder.  It's been over six months since we've tied the nuts and I still find myself being stunned at how much he'd grown. I never thought I was like Thomas until now. 
“ Hot pot. ”
“ That you'll get. ”
“ Thanks. ”
***
“ This will feel a bit cold. ” I nodded at the obstetrician's words as Evans held my hands tight. 
“ That's your baby, Evie. ” I stared at the monitor and felt my heart soar at the sight in the monitor. 
“ Wow. ” 
“ You are 10 weeks pregnant, Evie and very soon you'll be able to tell the gender of your child. ” 
“ Hm… thank you. ”
“ So I'll leave you two alone for now. ” I nodded at the doctor as she left. 
“ Evans? ” I shook him a little to attract his attention.  “ What are you thinking about? ”
“ Evie… ” He turned his gaze to me and I saw traces of tears in his eyes. 
 “ What's up? ” 
“ Children are gifts From God, aren't they? ” His question felt weird, but I answered in spite of it.  “ Yeah… ”
“ Do you think I can really be a good father? ” I felt my heart sink at his words, can a man be any more vulnerable? Opening up so bluntly about his inadequacies, like what can be more demeaning than that? 
“ I believe you will… ” 
“ Why? ”
“ Because you've got a father in heaven who's the best of the best. ” 
“ Um… okay. ”
“ Besides, no one feels super confident about becoming a father at first. So you are good. ” I smiled, pinching his cheeks.
“ Thanks, Babe. ”
“ You are welcome. ” I replied with a grin. 
***
Later, at the hospital’s car park.
We were about to enter our car when he suddenly paused and stared at me. “ Why don't we have lunch outside? ” I searched his eyes before nodding. 
We went to a Chinese restaurant downtown to get something. While Evans had Ramen, I had Hot pot. 
Just as I'd been craving. 
“ Take it slowly, Babe. ” I couldn’t help blushing at his intense gaze on her. I'd completely forgotten where I was and the proper way of eating at the sight of my craving.
“ Thank you. ” 
“ You are welcome. ” He grinned. 
Soon, we were back in our car. On their way home. But just before that. 
“ Evelyn. ” His voice woke Evie, who was already dozing off. 
“ Yes? ” 
“ You know this is my first time being a father. And I honestly have almost no idea on what to do and how to act. ” Evelyn felt her heart soar at his honestly. What exactly had she done to deserve a man like him? 
“ Do you promise to tell me when you need anything? I mean anything at all? ” 
“ I will. ” She grinned. 
An image flashed in front of her and she was suddenly reminded of their wedding night. Despite being so headstrong and confident. Their first times tested that as they were both inexperienced in that area. 
  She'll never forget how red faced Evans was when they finally did it and the awkwardness that followed. 
It was a bittersweet experience indeed. 
“ Maybe, this isn't so bad after all. ” She thought. 
“ What are you thinking about, Babe? ” His words brought her out of her reverie.
“ Our first time. ” She didn't miss the change in his expression at her words and how red his face turned at it.
“ Oh… ” 
“ We'll get through this, Evans. ” She grabbed his arms and squeezed them.  “ Yeah. ” He nodded at her. She didn't miss the love and tenderness in his eyes. 
At that point she felt like she'd gotten diamond in its rawest form. 
Makes her wonder how God does his things. 
If she'd rejected him earlier, is this all she would have missed? 
Is it?
…
A/N : Oh wow. That's super interesting. What do you think, guys?