"You've been worrying too much," the Queen said when she saw me leaning on the bannisters of the stairs. Ever since the battle, my father and I have been staying here in the Holyroodhouse to assist and accompany the queen prior to Fergus' order.
I breathed deeply and walked towards the window. I am currently in the window of one of the towers in Holyroodhouse castle. My father and I have been staying here since the passing of the king, in order to accompany her majesty.
She is not yet officially announced leader of the castle since we have been prolonging the announcement regarding the death of the king. We have planned to prolong it for a little, just in time for Fergus, my husband, to.to.come back and bid his last goodbye. I know this is hard for him since he grew to love the King like his own father.
"I do worry about him, it has been days… almost a week actually. Yet, there are still no signs of him coming back," I said and craned my neck on the window, trying to see the forest a few yards away from the castle. hoping to find a little hope that Fergus will be coming back soon.
I heard the queen sigh, and felt her presence by my side. I continued to look straight with both of my arms resting on the concrete stool of the open window. Her left hand held mine, as yer right hand held my back, almost in a semi hugging position.
"You love him." That was not a question, but a statement from the queen. I looked at her in wide shock. my eyes went wide and my brows knitted. I shifted my weight and faced her majesty.
"I beg your pardon, your majesty but I think you have gotten everything wrong. I don't love him nor do I fancy him. I am merely worried. We have been married, and therefore we share the same bond. it is just and right to worry for him. It has been days and yet not a single clue from hjm is heard." I sighed deeply and faced the night scenery again.
I heard the queen give out a small chuckle and then a sob.
"You know, with your situation with Fergus right now, I remembered the time I shared with the king in the distinct past. We were also a product of marriage arrangement. To connect two different kingdoms and widen the influence. We have both been denying falling in love with each other until our first year of marriage. It was chaotic, we were bound to go on separate ways as my parents have found another, better match for me. As per the rules before, a better match is a must despite being married at the same time, divorce. But you know what your uncle did?"
She smiled and looked at the scenery in front of us. with her eyes glistening from tears and a hopeful glint to reminisce about the past. "He fought for me, for us.us.When I told him about the news of our separation, he was enraged. He went to see both my mother and father. I followed him towards our castle, and there, in the throne room, I found him. He was kneeling on both of his knees, begging for my parents to let him have me. He promised all sorts of things just for my parents to let us continue our marriage until the end of time. Yet, all of those promises were nothing the moment I heard him profess his love for me in front of my parents. It was then when I realised that I could not also live without him. that a life away from the royal throne was better than a life with a better match, yet unsure of what the future holds for the both of you."
She turned at me and smiled. "That's why, as early as now, sort your feelings out. you say you don't love him yet your action tells me otherwise. Oh! How wonderful it is to love and be loved! Do not waste your time by thinking and following what your heart tells you so. Remember that we lead by heart. Listen to it, you might still have a longer time if you start early."
She bid me goodbye and walked towards the stairs. "Oh, before I forgot, you also need to sort out your feelings fast. Both of you need to talk about how your relationship will work. Remember that you can only lead a blissful kingdom, only if you both understand each other."
I knitted my brows in confusiconfusion. "What do you mean your majesty? I beg your pardon but I do not understand."
"We both know that his majesty and I have no children. nor do I have the power to rule as I am merely a queen consort in his kingdom. But you my dear, would be a great queen. You are the most perfect candidate for the throne. Both of us also know that if your mother is alive, your father would also be a prince, a consort, just like me. Therefore, it leaves you, the closest family, to lead the kingdom. Ever since you were a child I have known that someday, you would be a great Queen Regnant."
She stepped on the first stair, "For that, I am fully at peace to abdicate the throne. I have only wished to live peacefully with the king, but now that he is gone, I'd rather live peacefully in a small manor where we used to watch the sunset and fish back in our days."
"This is not a goodbye, my dear. I would love to see you send me off after the king's burial. You could also visit me as you wish. though I am not expecting a frequent visit because you will also start a family of your own, once you admit your feelings with Fergus."
Before I could retort, she waved her hands and hurriedly took several steps on the stairs while singing and repeatedly saying, "Oh what it feels to be in love."
I was left there dumbfounded, trying to contemplate and process everything that she just said to me. Everything is so sudden, a moment, I was mourning, for the next, I was worrying for Fergus' welfare. And now, the queen just dropped to me the news of her plans to abdicate the throne.