"Are you sure? Won't you change your mind? We can still-"
I stopped him using my hand, I covered his mouth. I can do this and I need this! Kuya and I are here at the coffee shop because I decided last night that I need to talk to him. This is my only chance to prove myself and prove to my heart that he is not a cheater.
But until now I still don't get out of the car even though I can see Luke from here. I've been here a few minutes and just watching him.
I took a deep breath. "I need to talk to him kuya." I whispered.
He slowly removed my hand from his mouth. "Are you sure?"
I smiled at him and nodded before went out of his car. Then, I slowly walk towards his place, where he is seating calmly while drinking his coffee.
I put my blank face expression when he saw me walking towards his. He smiled but I didn't smile back.
"Take a seat." He bit his lower lip. "Uhm, thank you that you came, Blaire."
I nodded once. "Yeah."
He looked at the counter. "Do you want anything? What do you want? Coffee? Tea? Bread? Or just wa-"
"The truth." I cut him. "I want to know the truth."
He looked at me for a long time as if surprised by what I said or... maybe he was just thinking of something to say. I don't know! All I want is the truth. That's all!
He slowly nodded. "Yeah. You're right. That's why you came. I'll tell you the truth."
I raised my brow. "You can start now. I don't want to waste my time on a cheater like you."
He sighed deeply and coughed a little before he starts. "Honestly, I don't know what happened to me. I just woke up that day."
My brows furrowed. "If you don't know, how you can tell me the truth? How you can tell me what is really happened? Huh?"
He looked down and sighed. "Well, I still remember what happened before I lost my consciousness... I was headed to the bar when I saw Margareth, she said she also wants to go to the bar that's why I gave her a ride. But after a few minutes, she felt dizzy so I stopped the car nearby to the store and bought two mineral water, one for her and one for me."
I didn't answer, I just kept looking at him while trying to stop myself from crying again. That night was my birthday!
"And before I drank to my mineral water, she said, she wants some candy so I bought her candy. And before I drive again, I'll drank my water."
I chuckled. "Then what? You two went to your place and do the thing? Hmm?"
He immediately shook his head. "No! I didn't even kiss her. I didn't even touch her. We just got to the bar quickly and while looking for you, I felt dizzy and my eyes were slowly blurred and everything went black. That's it! I just woke up in my condo, naked, seeing you cry."
I couldn't help myself, I suddenly burst into tears. How could I trust his words? Will I believe or not? What if everything he said was just a big lie?
"Do you know what was special that day? That night?"
His brows furrowed and I laughed. I knew it! "I went to the bar because you were supposed to be there."
"But you didn't remember my birthday!"
His lips parted. "What?"
The side of my lips rose. "Yes! It was my birthday! I knew it! I knew that you didn't remember it. Well, hindi naman 'yon ang masakit eh."
"Blaire, I know-"
I stopped him and stepped forward. "I waited for you all day! Because I thought you would remember my birthday. I waited until dawn. I called you and texted you but you couldn't even answer my calls or text. After that, that's what I saw. That my boyfriend already has a fiance. And they making out."
He shook his head while I'm crying in front of him again. "No! We're not making out. Believe me! Please!"
I raised my brow. "Why would I? I saw you and your fiance in bed, naked, hugging each other, and oh, wait, I also saw a lot of hickeys in your neck down to your chest that day."
"But-"
"No buts, you're a liar! Why didn't you tell me that you already have a fiance? You make me look like a fool. You know what, I loved you so much to the point that I forgot myself."
He suddenly held my hand, I forcibly trying to take my hand back but he won't letting it go. "Please! I can't tell you because I thought you might be mad at me, and worse, leave me. Besides, I'm already fixing that mess, I will never ever marry her. You're the one who I want to marry, Blaire."
I did a strong pull and finally, I got my hand back from him. I stood up and wiped my tears and I was about to talk when something pop up on my phone. I picked it up and someone sends me a video and a text.
'Use an earphone.'
Fortunately, I brought my headphones, when it was okay, I opened the video and I was almost disgusted with what I saw and heard. My tears slowly dripping down when I saw their face on my phone screen. My chest tightened and my world collapsed.
It was their making out. I saw Luke kissing his fiance while Margareth is full of energy grind on his crotch. I also heard their moans. I quickly turned off my phone and faced luke.
"You said, you didn't make out with her. You said you didn't even kiss her and touch her." I asked while my heart is full of pain.
He nodded. "Yes! I'm telling the truth. Believe me."
I wiped my face. I want to explode in the extreme pain I feel. Why does he have to lie! I quickly opened my phone and showed him the video.
"Then why you did this? Who is that guy in that video?" I cried out in too much pain, in too much anger. The people around us are already looking at us. "Y-you're such a liar!"
I let him watch the video while I'm holding my chest. It hurts! 'The pain that seemed to be slowly crushing my heart caused me to gradually lose my breath.
"T-this is n-not me. This is not me! Blaire?"
"Crop the lies, Luke! Stop making me feel sorry that I loved a guy like you. You really know how to disappoint and hurt me at once."
I took my phone from him and hid it in my bag. I smiled bitterly at him. I thought we would get along but it seems vague.
"It's okay, Luke. I understand. You don't have to hide it anymore. She's your fiance and I'm just your freaking girlfriend or let's just say... mistress." I bravely said.
He held my hand and unexpectedly he pulled me closer to his, he hugged me. "B-blaire, please. Trust me, love. Believe me. I-It's not me." He whispered on my neck.
I separate from his hug and looked at him straight in the eyes. I swear, I will miss these eyes so much.
"Luke, I love you but I'm so sick of it. I love you but my heart can't take it anymore. I love you even though I am no longer your future. I love you but I don't want to be a fool. I want to forgive you but I can't because it hurts. I want to believe you but there's an evidence that you cheated on me."
He frowned at what I was saying now. "W-what are you talking about? Love?"
I sighed deeply and wiped my cheeks again then smiled bitterly. "We're not in a fairytale story to have an happy ending, now... you can say my name as a f-friend again, Luke."
After I said that, I quickly left him there. I couldn’t stand the pain and I wasn’t on my own so I ran fast after I got out of the coffee shop. I don't know where I'm going but that's not what I have in mind.
I just want to be alone. I just want to get rid of the pain I’m feeling right now. I am strong enough! It's just me, I can do it.
I stopped running because I could no longer breathe. Suddenly I sat down on the side of the road and at the same time as my tears fell a heavy rain fell, as if it coincided with my grief.
"What have I done wrong? Lord, why are you letting me feel this kind of pain?" I took a deep breath and I was about to stand up when I felt dizzy and then I passed out.
When I woke up, the first thing I saw was pure white and it was dazzling. Wait! Am I d-dead? Oh my god! Why? How? No! It can't be!
What? Is it just like that? Will my life end here? I would be very OA if I committed suicide. Wait! Oh my god! I remember, I was running and then I suddenly fainted.
I heard something that sounded like people talking, their voices familiar. But I don't see anything, if before it was white, now it is pure black. What is going on?
"M-mommy? Dad? W-where are you?" I called them but they did not answer.
I sat down even though I didn't see anything. "Mom? Answer me?"
"Hi! How are you? Are you feeling well now?" someone asked. I guess it's a doctor. Just the smell of him and how he would ask.
"Why can't I see anything?" I asked. I heard him laugh a little. What's funny with what I said?
"You should open your eyes first." He said. I slowly open my eyes and then I saw my family laughing while looking at me.
Oh my god!
"Oh...y-yeah, I'm so dumb. I'm s-sorry. I forgot how to open my eyes first." I laughed to somehow cover up the embarrassment I caused. Aish!
It's really embarrassing!
"Really? How can a woman like you forgot how to open her eyes?" Kuya asked as he slowly approached.
I rolled my eyes at him before looking at my parents who are laughing as well. Aish! "I want to go home. There's nothing wrong with me."
I got up and adjusted myself before walking. When my older brother and I were honest, I just looked at him and deliberately hit his shoulder.
"I love you lil sis!" I heard him said but I didn't stop walking. Claire followed me with a worried face.
"I'm fine!"
She blocked my way. "What you're fine? Why do you always say you're okay even when the truth is not? We're worried about you a lot, especially mommy and daddy, do you know that?"
I looked away. "I'm sorry." I passed him and went to the car first. Even if they don’t say where that is, I still know.
While we were on the way home, I did not say a word even though they kept asking me questions. Tiresome to speak, tedious to move, tedious to be happy, it's all tedious!
They don't know anything. Yes! They know we broke up because luke cheated on me and he already has a fiance. But they don’t know how I feel, how painful it is for me, how heavy my chest is now because of that. They don't know anything.
I did everything but what can I do, it's still not enough. I did nothing but love him, but why does it seem wrong. Is it wrong to love now? Tsk!
When we arrived at home, I immediately went out of the car and walk to my room. I don't want to talk to them, I will not say anything.
I went to the vanity mirror and stared at myself in the mirror.
"Aish! You look stupid... You fooled by his words and simple sweet gestures." I laughed a little while still looking at myself from the mirror.
I was about to take a shower when my phone rang. I picked it up and answer the call. It was Anne.
"Why?"
["Nothing. I just don't have anyone to talk,"] She answered.
I rolled my eyes before sat on the edge of my bed. "So, that's why you're bothering me now?" I laughed a little.
She chuckled. ["Uhm, something like that."]
"Tsk! I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone." I would have hung up when she spoke again.
["You're so exaggerated! Well, I called to say hello. Maybe... you know,"] she laughed.
"It's not funny!"
["Okay! You know, I wonder what heartbreak feels like. Can you tell me?"] She deeply sighed. "I just want to know what are you feeling now."
"I don't know. All I can feel right now is the pain... and that pain stabs my heart all over and over again, so it's hurt so much... I want to cry all day as if all the pain I feel will go away. In other words, extreme pain. I can't explain!"
I ended the call after that. I hope it goes away soon. I don't want to feel this way. I don't like it! I lay down on my bed and I can't stop sobbing and sniffling. So, I ended up falling asleep.