"W-what... What did you say?"
I immediately push him and stared at him for a moment. I heavily sighed. I waited for his answer but I heard nothing from him. I don't know what should I say or what should I do right now. I rolled my eyes at him and then run away from him, from them.
And when I already outside the venue. All my tears fell unintentionally. What is this? Why I'm feeling this right now? Why do I feel like he stabs me in my heart again? It's hurt like hell!
I put both my hands on either side of me and then took a deep breath. I really can't breathe! It's been too long since I last felt it, and I thought it would never happen again. But now...
"Blaire!" Luke called me so immediately turn around.
I pointed at him. "Don't... don't come near me." I wipe my tears using my other hand.
"Blaire. I'm sorry. Please, let's talk once again," He said while slowly step forward towards me.
"Please... I don't want to talk to you." I told him and run away again. My tears flowed even more as I continued to run. I want to get away from him, from them. I want to wake up if this is a dream because it really hurts.
But someone hugged me from the back and I tried my best to escape from that hug of him. But I can't. I can't escape from luke so I have no choice but to give up. I'm out of breath! I cried even more as I look down.
"Can you stop running away from me? It's driving me insane!" He told me when he turns me around so that he could see my face.
"Running away from you is my only choice," I told him straight.
He stared at me for a moment before look away and let me go. I didn't run, I stay where I was standing. I wiped the tears that had spread down my cheeks and took a deep breath then looked straight at him.
"What?" He whispered. He didn't expect me to say that. His tear suddenly fell in his cheeks while staring at me.
"So please, don't waste your time on things like this."
"But I want to fix this, blaire. Just listen to me even now." I just looked away. "Until now Blaire, I still want to explain everything to you."
I looked at him. "Explain? I don't need that. You don't have to fix anything, Luke. The trust we both want to take care of has long been broken and it's your fault, Luke." I bravely said.
He nodded a lot of times and bit his lower lip. "I know! That's why I want to explain to you but you won't let me talk!"
"Because you have nothing to say! Why don't you understand that, huh? How many times do I have to tell you that I don't want to talk to you? I don't want you to hurt me again... I don't trust you anymore, besides, you're the one who broke my trust back then."
"Then let me fix your broken trust... Also, your broken heart. I can fix it myself, just let me do it, please," He said. I just chuckled bitterly and then shook my head.
I turned my back on him because I no longer knew what to say to him. He doesn't want to listen to me! It was the same for the two of us but he still insisted on what he wanted.
As I walked slowly to get away from him, I suddenly stopped because he says something unexpected and I haven't heard that word in a long time.
"I still love you, Blaire... Eleven years have passed but you're still the one I want to be with for the rest of my life."
Why is it like this? Why do I seem to be having a hard time? I want to step on my feet but they don’t want to move. On the other hand, I felt happiness in my heart because, after so many years, he said that he loves me.
But I'm scared! I'm scared he might be lying to me again. That he might fool me again. I can't take it anymore when that happens.
I turn around and looked at him. "Do you really want to fix it? Do you really want to explain everything to me... again?"
He nodded immediately. "Yes, of course! I'm sure of it!"
I nodded, too. "Fine! I let you explain everything. I let you fix them."
His face brightens. "Did you mean it?" He asked.
I nodded. "But don't expect that even if you fix them, everything will be back to how it used to be. Because I assure you that even if you fix them, it is still broken and will still be broken no matter what happens... because there is a trace that proves that it was broken and you can't fix it or hide it whatever you do."
"Blaire," he whispered my name.
"What?" I asked and then sniffed. "Don't you want it?"
He stared at me for a moment before took a deep breath. "Okay. Thanks for letting me do it. I will explain it to you."
He approaches me and he suddenly took my hand and then he pulled me into his car. My brows furrowed because of the touch he made, I tried to remove his hand but he really didn’t want to let me go. He drove his car somewhere. He was also driving too fast so I got a bit nervous.
"Where are we going? Ha?" I asked.
"In a place where you can't get away from me. I’m not going to waste this opportunity, Blaire. So I won't let you get away from me anymore," He said in a serious tone.
"W-what?"
We only lasted a few minutes on the road because of the speed of his car. We stopped in front of a hotel and it was super tall. When he got out of the car, he quickly grabbed my hand again and I couldn't stop him.
"What are we doing here?" I asked again but he did not answer.
We went inside and took the elevator. I don’t know how many minutes we lasted inside the elevator because of the nervousness I was feeling earlier.
We got to the rooftop and I was amazed at the beautiful view. I smiled selflessly as I slowly approached the railings. The stars are so beautiful and I can see them clearly from here. It was very cold and the wind was strong. It feels so good!
"Wow," I whispered.
"Do you like it?" He suddenly asked.
I straightened up and looked straight at him. "Well, kinda." I crossed my arms in front of my chest. "Anyway, you can explain and fix it now."
He chuckled so I glared at him. "Alright! Listen to me carefully."
I nodded. "Okay."
"Everything that happened to us before was planned by Margareth. She wants to ruin my life and my family if I can't go to her either. So she did everything she could to separate us and she succeeded. You broke up with me... Before that, when it was Christmas where I went home to France, we met and I told her that I had a girlfriend and I warned her that no matter what she did she would not destroy us but I was wrong... I was wrong because I remained silent, I was reassured that we will not be breaking up no matter what."
I nodded. "You're right. You didn't tell me. You kept all that a secret from me, so it all happened to us," I said without looking at him.
"I know! And I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I was just scared that you might break up with me. I was just scared that you might get angry. I was just scared that you might be different when I told you. I'm so scared because I don't want to lose you."
"But you still lost me. Don't you know... Do you know how much pain I felt that day? Too much pain that it can kill me anytime. It's like crushing your heart. It's like your heart is being torn to pieces. It's like you're slowly losing strength because of what you saw. It's like the whole world has deceived you, everyone around you. That's how I felt! It hurts! It hurts so much, luke!"
"I'm sorry!"
I smiled bitterly. "Sorry? Okay, continue your explanation."
He went to the place that has small roof and took an envelope out from the table in the small basement near us and handed it to me.
"Here! That's the evidence that proves I wasn't the one in that video, that I didn't do what you thought, that I didn't know what happened to me before," He said.
I took it to her and I saw some pictures of Margareth talking to someone, handing money to someone, putting something in a glass, following me, following luke, and much more.
"I want us to get along Blaire, but if after this, and you still can’t forgive me, I understand." I suddenly looked at him and he smiled at me.
I looked again at the envelope I was holding and saw some more receipts. I don’t understand what they are but based on what I read, it’s a receipt of what and where margareth buys her something something.
My grip on the paper and the pictures tightened until it crumpled. I can't believe she did that. I felt so much pain while I was accusing Luke then and now I know that this is not his fault. Why is fate so cruel to us?
"Blaire?"
"What?" I just shouted at him because of how angry I was feeling. That bitch!
"I'm sorry." He apologized so I glared at him. I laughed a little annoying. I also threw at him the crumpled paper and pictures that I was holding earlier.
"Sorry? Do you think we can fix everything when that woman finally ruined everything? She ruined us! She ruined everything!"
I just bent down and sat on the floor as my tears continued to flow. My fists clenched at the extreme heat of my whole being. But I felt someone holding my hands and it was Luke. He hugged me and there I took out everything I should have taken out before.
"11 years has passed but only now I know the truth. I don't know if I can face you. I've been so harsh on you before, I did say a lot of harsh things towards you, I also hurt you through my words. I'm... I'm sorry." I said still looking down.
"Don't say that. It's all my fault. I should've tell you before it happens but I'm such a coward. I'm really sorry for hurting you," He says back on me.
"But everything... everything won't be back how it used to be,"
"We can start over, Blaire. Everything about us will be all right if I am with you. If we are together."
"I'm n-not sure," I cried even more as I covered my face.
I'm crying not because I'm hurt, but because I'm guilty of what I used to say to luke. I don’t look like I’m going to face him anymore. Whether I admit it or not, I also made a mistake, I didn’t trust the person I leaned on before, I didn't trust the person I loved. I'm stupid in that part!
"Shh! It's okay, Blaire!" He caressed my hair and hugged me so tight.
"Please, stay away from me first and don't look at me," I said and he immediately obeyed.
He walked away and turned his back on me so I slowly stood up and adjusted myself. I wiped my tears in my both cheeks and took a deep breath.
I close my eyes and open and close and open while still taking a breath. I need to calm down first. "Don't look at me. I can see you," I said.
When I was well and I knew I was calm. I slowly backed away, as in there was really no sound. And I don't think luke feels that way. Good then! I can leave without him knowing.
As I approached the door, I turned around and slowly but quickly stepped forward.
I was about to grab the doorknob and was about to open it when suddenly someone grabbed my other hand from behind and pulled me around and closer to him. My eyes widened and my lips parted out of shock.
I stared straight into luke's eyes and so did he. He was holding my waist with his right hand and he was holding my right hand with his left hand. He put my hand on his shoulder.
He slowly approached me while staring at my lips. Until I can feel his soft lips on my lips. I just closed my eyes unconsciously and responded to his kiss. A few minutes later, our lips parted because we needed air.
"Next time, don't try to run away from me again because I won't let that happen again. You're mine." He kissed me again, this time, passionately and a little intense.