Just because I saw those traumatic events, did it make me falter? I feel like I'm being played, my heart and mind are really being played. I... I don't want things like this to keep happening.
 
I stared at the mysterious figure intently. "Hey... are you doing all this on purpose to make my heart waver?" I accused her.
 
The mysterious figure looked at me with a mysterious smile. "Are you sure that I'm responsible for all this?" she said in a low voice.
 
I frowned, confused by his answer. "Who else could have done it? I don't understand why I have to keep being haunted by these traumatic events. Do you want to hurt or test me?"
 
The mysterious figure shook his head, "I am not the cause of all this. I am merely a mirror that shows you what is in your heart. Don't look outside, look inside yourself."
 
Her words made me even more confused. I began to ponder and rethink what she said. After a while, I realized that it was true. The trauma and uncertainty actually came from the decisions and attitudes I had made, and not from external influences.
 
"What you said made me think," I admitted to the mysterious figure. "I really need to look inside myself and face the fears and traumas that are there.
 
"I can't avoid it all the time."
 
The mysterious figure nodded, "Right. Only by facing yourself and mending your own heart can you transcend the traumas and master your mind. You are stronger than you think."
 
In silence, I decided to accept this challenge and take control of my own life. I promised myself to accept all within myself, to strengthen my heart and mind, so that trauma and uncertainty would no longer have control over me.
 
Yet it would have been true if only this heart of mine had never doubted. Unfortunately, I can't do that very well. I harbor too many doubts in my heart. It feels so rotten and filled with wounds.
 
***
 
"I think, you've done well so far, Lily?" I deliberately looked at the figure flatly. "Lily... what did you bring me here for?"
 
The mysterious figure looked surprised. I don't know why she easily became unsteady. Whereas before, she had boldly and confidently shown me how to work in this world.
 
"Lily?" I said in a teasing voice. "I was waiting for your answer."
 
After a moment of hesitation, the mysterious figure finally opened her mouth. "I brought you here because I want you to see this world in a different way. To see everything that's out there and learn to understand it."
 
"Is understanding important?" I asked.
 
"Yes, very important," he replied firmly.
 
"When we understand something, we can find solutions to problems. And that will help us grow and develop."
 
I paused for a moment, digesting the words I had just heard. Understanding to find solutions... that must be very valuable. And it seemed like, to be able to understand that, was always synonymous with suffering hardship.
 
"But, to understand things out there, it's not enough to just look at them. We have to feel and experience it ourselves," she continues.
 
"So, what should I do?"
 
"You have to be open to new experiences. Dare to try things you've never tried before. "
 
I smiled at her words. "Thanks, I'll give it a try," I said, ready to start a new adventure in my life. "But before that, may I know who you really are Lily? I've been pretending like I don't know the truth of what you're hiding behind me. But can I find out from you this time, sweetie?" I said seductively.
 
The mysterious figure chuckled. "I am whoever you want me to be, so I can be anything. I am your infinite source of inspiration. I am the possibilities waiting for you out there." Lily smiled then pointed with her index finger towards her head and chest alternately. "I am your mind as well as your heart."
 
"Is that so... how can I find you?" I asked curiously.
 
"You don't need to search, I am always in your heart. Just listen to your intuition and follow your dreams, then you will find me along the way," Lily said calmly. "Saeran I brought you here to let you know how much I want to show you what the world is like. I want to tell you how, the world really isn't that bad. Can you believe in that?"
 
"I want to believe even though it's not that easy Lily." I looked at Lily closely. "It seems that while showing me all these things. You seem to have deliberately erased some of my memories. Especially about that woman...."
 
"Saeran, I didn't mean anything bad when I did that." Lily tried to be cautious.
 
I shook my head. "All you showed was how the fear that came to haunt me. You acted as if you knew everything. I kind of suspect that what you're doing to me, is a manifestation of your desire to help me. No wonder you look like you know something Lily, though I don't know what you're hiding from me," I said grimly. "You knew that I was scared, and you gave me the right clue to overcome my fear. Maybe I won't be able to forget everything, but I believe it is for my own good. Isn't that right Lily?"
 
Lily nodded in understanding. "Sometimes, it takes someone taking everything away to give you clarity and make you understand something that was confusing before. And I'm glad I could help you."
 
Lily was silent for a moment but soon opened her mouth again. "I love your character, and seeing how tough you are and never giving up, I really do come to admire you," Lily said sincerely. "Even if the darkness tries to swallow you, I will never hesitate to bring you out of there."
 
"Why would you go to such lengths?" I asked curiously.
 
"Because I believe in you. I see you as beautiful in my own way." Lily tried to grab my hand.
 
But once again, I brushed her off, feeling like I couldn't accept her hand. Why did I try so many times to reject her, when I needed her. Isn't this clearly showing the arrogance in my heart at work.
 
Lily looked disappointed, but she tried to hide her disappointment with a smile. "It's okay, maybe now is not the right time. But don't worry, I'm always waiting patiently for you to accept this helping hand."
 
His words made my heart ache. But that nagging feeling, I couldn't avoid it.
 
For some reason, the face of the woman who had appeared many times before now began to fill my head.
 
"My mother... you want to show me how the memories of my mother aren't that scary, so that I can open up, right?"