I raised my hand and saw that there was blood there. My hand was covered in blood...I don't know where the blood came from. But... I'm very familiar with this feeling.
 
My heart raced as I looked at my bloodied hands. It was very difficult for me to ignore that feeling, as if I had experienced it before. Then, my memory suddenly felt so shocking.
 
I vaguely recalled stabbing someone and leaving them seriously injured.
 
This blood on my hand seemed to symbolize that memory again. The pain and sadness associated with that loss felt so strong within me. I felt an emptiness in my heart, as if nothing could fill my life again.
 
The blood on my hands reminded me of a wound that hadn't fully healed. But underneath the sadness, I also felt an indescribable connection to the person who had left. There seemed to be a tenderness amongst this blood, sweeping away the sadness in my heart. I felt a sense of calm in this sadness.
 
Looking at my bloodstained hands, I remembered that life is a journey filled with obstacles and loss. This blood, my own blood, is a reminder for me to stay strong in the midst of pain.
 
Although it will never bring back someone I've lost, it will always remind me of the precious meaning of life. This blood is a silent witness to the feelings I have experienced.
 
I knew, even though I would probably continue to feel that sadness and loss, but obviously those things... I couldn't just get rid of.
 
Poppy walked closer to me, she then touched my hand that was covered with blood. "It seems like you're starting to remember something isn't it, Saeran. Even if you want to cover it up, I think you must be remembering something. Are you going to try to cover it up from me?"
 
My body trembled, my feelings were chaotic. Gone was the sense of calm in my heart. In just an instant, I felt everything come crashing down. I felt like broken glass.
 
Suddenly Poppy hugged me tightly, making me feel calmer. "I'm here for you, Saeran. I will always be by your side, no matter what happens." She said that while whispering in my ear.
 
And strangely with those words, I felt a little relief. Although my heart was still sad, but there was someone who wanted to be with me, did it seem like I missed this kind of feeling appearing. Is this like a gap in my heart that anyone can secretly enter? I'm starting to feel scared now.
 
However, alongside that fear, there is also a feeling that pushes me to open up. Maybe that's what's best for me, right? To let someone enter the gap in my heart and nurture it together.
 
Slowly, I broke away from Poppy's embrace and looked at her intently. Something seemed to fill my mind. I didn't know what it was, but it felt so familiar.
 
Poppy then took out a lily flower. She gave it to me. "I hope you like it." She smiled and looked so happy as she showed me the flower.
 
It was a lily... obviously it ended up being the final clue that led to something.
 
"Lily?" And without realizing it, I finally said the name. And from that, too, came the memory of when I stabbed Lilya with my tangamy and made her fall down helplessly. I killed Lily... I did it with my own hands.
 
My tears flowed freely as the realization hit me again. I couldn't forgive myself for that act. And all that guilt and regret weighed on me like a stone that I carried every day. I wanted to apologize to Lily, but how could I do that if she was already gone? Poppy looked at me with an empathetic gaze, hugging me tightly. "I know you feel guilty," she said slowly. "But you must also know that you must forgive yourself, forgive yourself. And you must have the courage to accept the consequences of your actions."
 
I looked at Poppy, digesting her words carefully. And slowly, I began to understand. Yes, I can't change the past. But I could change the future. I nodded my head, thanking Poppy. She gave me a chance to start my life over.
 
 
 
"I am indeed somewhat annoyed by your careless actions. But I know very well about your mental state, so it's hard for me to really punish you. I can't make you feel any more difficult than this. Be grateful Lily, you will never experience death. Even if you hurt her." Poppy sighed heavily. "When I met you all I expected was a good and pleasant outcome but the opposite happened. You're a bit of a handful," she complained.
 
I just listened intently as she continued to rant even though I had no idea where this conversation was going.
 
Poppy snapped her fingers once. Suddenly we were both back in my room.
 
"From now on, do well. I won't forgive you next time, if you're careless again. I might even hurt you if you do something stupid." Poppy gave me a sharp look, she then turned away. But before it seemed that she was really going to leave this place, she said like this, "Lily will never appear in front of you again. I think you had a bad last encounter with her. You should also remember this... Lily will never forgive you!" she said before disappearing into thin air.
 
After Poppy's departure, I was just silent, feeling confused as well as ignorant. But on the one hand, I felt that I realized that my heart did have its own rotten side.
 
I looked at the Lily flower that Poppy had given me. A Lily flower, where it reminds me of Lily. I will never see her sweet figure again. And the last meeting with her was a bad meeting.
 
Lily has an uncanny resemblance to Poppy even though I never knew what she was like. But my heart was sure that she seemed to be the opposite of Poppy. If Poppy stands in the darkness, then Lily stands in the light. She was white and fit to bear the title of virtue.
 
If she really is a virtue, does that mean that I have been blessed by something good even for a short while? Even when I doubted myself, and felt certain that I had been living in a dark figure. I was apparently protected by something good behind me.
 
Is this how the world works? Now I really can't think about it properly.