IKASIYAM NA KABANATA - tr. CHAPTER 09
Ang Punyál
The Dagger
DIWA
I woke up feeling light, yet my body ached. The Rajah's arm was wrapped around my naked waist as he slept soundly. Slowly, I turned to face him. Indeed, he was in a deep slumber. It seemed to be the early hours, with darkness still outside. And the Rajah...
He truly is magnificent. I had heard rumors that a Rajah from afar was regal, with a gentle face that belied his true nature and actions.
They were not wrong.
Tandang Huray was not wrong.
I gazed at the Rajah. Without the gold and intricate tattoos that usually adorned his body, he appeared just like an ordinary man. His skin was a rich, sun-kissed brown, and his long, dark hair cascaded over the pillows. In his current state, he seemed incapable of harming even an insect.
He was asleep...
Should I strike him?
Especially now, as fatigue weighed heavily on him. We had spent the entire night together, our passions entwined. And yes, while I had stepped away for a bath, I had discreetly acquired a dagger.
To strike...
What difference remains... my conscience? I have already killed two people.
I shifted slightly. The Rajah suddenly tightened his embrace around me, causing me to startle.
But he did not speak; it was evident that he was awake, yet he moved closer to me, his face nestled against my chest.
I could feel his breath, warm and steady, against my skin. My heart pounded in my chest, a drumbeat of fear and confusion. The dagger hidden beneath the pillow was within reach. One swift motion, and it would all be over. Tandang Huray’s words echoed in my mind from when she spoke to me about the Rajah in her visions: "He is the serpent in the garden, the wolf in sheep's clothing. You must be the hand of justice." At the time, I thought Tandang Huray was just joking. She was old, and I didn't realize her visions would come true.
But could I do it?
My fingers itched to grasp the hilt of the dagger, yet a part of me hesitated. The Rajah stirred slightly, his hand tracing lazy patterns on my back, sending shivers down my spine.
“Are you awake?” His voice was a deep murmur, barely above a whisper. I froze, my breath catching in my throat.
“Yes,” I replied, my voice trembling.
He lifted his head, his eyes meeting mine. They were a deep, penetrating brown, filled with an intensity that both frightened and fascinated me. “You seem troubled,” he said, his tone gentle yet probing.
“I just... I had a bad dream,” I lied, hoping he wouldn’t see through my facade.
His gaze softened, and he pulled me closer, his lips brushing against my forehead. “You are safe here,” he assured me. “No harm will come to you.”
The irony of his words was not lost on me. I was the danger in this scenario, the wolf in sheep’s clothing. But as he held me, the lines between duty and desire blurred.
The night wore on, and sleep eluded me. I lay there, listening to the steady rhythm of his breathing, feeling the warmth of his body against mine. The dagger was still within reach, yet I couldn’t bring myself to move.
As dawn approached, the first light of day filtered through the woven nipa walls, casting a soft glow on the room. The Rajah stirred, stretching languidly before turning to face me.
“Maayong aga,” he said, a smile playing at the corners of his lips.
“Maayong aga,” I replied, my voice barely above a whisper.
He sat up, running a hand through his tousled hair. “I have a busy day ahead,” he said, a hint of regret in his tone. “But I will return after days.”
I nodded, watching as he dressed in his traditional attire, complete with a malong and a kris at his side. Each movement was graceful, deliberate, a testament to his regal bearing. As he prepared to leave, he paused, turning to look at me one last time.
“Remember,” he said softly, “you are safe here.”
As the door closed behind him, I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. The room felt emptier without him, the silence oppressive. I reached beneath the pillow, my fingers closing around the hilt of the dagger.
Tandang Huray’s words echoed in my mind once more. “He is the serpent in the garden, the wolf in sheep’s clothing. You must be the hand of justice.”
But as I held the dagger, I couldn’t help but wonder: who was the true serpent here? The Rajah, with his gentle touch and kind words? Or me, with my hidden blade and deceitful heart? But he did manipulate me into marrying him.
A knock at the door interrupted my thoughts, and I quickly hid the dagger back beneath the pillow. The door opened to reveal Bulan, the Rajah's right hand. His stern face hardened slightly as he saw me.
"Diwa," he greeted, his voice firm but not unkind. "The Rajah has given orders that you are to stay here, in his home. You are forbidden to work outside."
I blinked in surprise. "But... why?"
Bulan's gaze was steady. "The Rajah wishes for you to be cared for. He has instructed me to provide you with dresses and jewelry. You are to be treated with the utmost respect and care."
My mind raced. This was unexpected. The Rajah's generosity confused me even more. Was this another layer of his manipulation, or was there genuine care behind his actions? But on the other hand, I will be his wife. This is appropriate.
Bulan stepped aside, and several alipin entered, carrying an array of beautiful malong and exquisite jewelry. They laid them out before me, each piece more stunning than the last.
"These are for you," Bulan said. "The Rajah wants you to have the finest garments and adornments. You will want for nothing while you are here."
I nodded numbly, still trying to process everything. The alipin began to help me dress, their hands gentle as they draped the luxurious fabrics over my body. The weight of the jewelry felt foreign against my skin, a stark contrast to the simple garments I had worn as a slave.
Among the alipin was Lila, her eyes wide with shock. She remained silent but her concern was evident in every hesitant glance she cast my way. As they worked, I caught her eye, and she gave me a slight nod, a silent promise of her support despite her disbelief.
As they worked, Bulan stood by, his eyes never leaving me. "The Rajah trusts you, Diwa," he said quietly, but there was an edge to his voice this time. "Do not betray that trust."
His words sent a chill down my spine. Did he know? Did he suspect my true intentions?
Once the alipin had finished, Bulan stepped forward, his expression unreadable. "You look beautiful," he said, his voice softer than I had ever heard it. "The Rajah will be pleased."
I managed a small smile, though my heart was heavy with the weight of my decision. The dagger beneath the pillow seemed to burn with the intensity of my inner conflict.
Bulan turned to leave but paused at the door. "Remember, Diwa," he said, his gaze piercing. "The Rajah's home is now your home. You are safe here."
With that, he left, the door closing softly behind him. I was alone once more, surrounded by opulence and luxury, yet feeling more trapped than ever.
I walked over to the window, looking out at the bustling courtyard below. The Rajah's words echoed in my mind: "You are safe here." But was I? And more importantly, was he safe from me?
The dagger was still hidden beneath the pillow, a constant reminder of my mission. But as I stood there, dressed in finery and adorned with jewels, I couldn't help but question everything I had been told.
Who was the true serpent? It is me.
Just as I thought I could breathe, another knock resounded at the door. I opened it, and there stood Bulan again, his expression now harsher, his eyes cold.
"There's something else you need to know," he said, stepping inside without waiting for my invitation. "The Rajah has decided to marry you."
I kept my expression neutral. "I am aware."
He sneered, his lip curling. "Good. Then you know that your life is bound to his. Every breath you take is a gift from him."
"I understand my place," I replied evenly.
Bulan's eyes darkened, a dangerous glint appearing in them. "Do you? Do you really? Because I know what you did, Diwa. Vray and Magat. Their blood is on your hands."
My stomach twisted into knots, but I forced myself to remain calm. "I did what I had to."
"There's always a choice," he snapped, stepping closer. "And you chose to kill. Just remember, the Rajah might be blinded by whatever it is he sees in you, but I am not. Step out of line, and I will be there to end you myself."
A chill ran down my spine at the cold fury in his voice. "I won't forget."
He moved even closer, his face inches from mine. "See that you don't," he hissed. "The Rajah's trust is not something you want to betray. You might think you're safe here, wrapped in his protection. But remember this, Diwa—every shadow has eyes. Every whisper carries weight. And every betrayal has its price."
With those ominous words, he turned and left the room, leaving me standing there, the weight of my mission heavier than ever.
I walked back to the window, looking out at the world beyond the Rajah's home. The dagger beneath my pillow seemed to pulse with my heartbeat, a reminder of the choices I had made and the path that lay ahead.
I knew that whatever choice I made would shape my destiny. Would I be the serpent, or would I rise above my past and forge a new path? The decision loomed before me, and with every passing moment, the stakes grew higher.
But there is only one answer.
I will be the serpent.
*****
MEANINGS:
In modern Hiligaynon and Waray, the phrases for "Good morning" are as follows:
Hiligaynon (Ilonggo): "Maayong aga"
Waray (Waray-Waray): "Maupay nga aga"
alipin - slave
Malong: A traditional tubular garment from the Philippines, particularly associated with the Maranao and Maguindanao ethnic groups in Mindanao. It is versatile and can be worn as a skirt, dress, shawl, or blanket, often featuring colorful, handwoven patterns.
Kris: A traditional asymmetrical dagger known for its wavy or straight blade, significant in various Southeast Asian cultures, including the Philippines. It serves as both a weapon and a spiritual object, symbolizing power, bravery, and heritage.