"There is nobody around. I was hallucinating", cried Aastha. It is the side effect of the medicines that I am compelled to take.
She took a glass of water and drank it after keeping the knife down on the slab. Suddenly, she was amazed by a voice -
"What are you doing here?"
"Oh! I was just drinking water”, she replied and laughed at her hallucinations.
"How can there be somebody at this time of the hour to ask me anything? "I must be hallucinating again", she thought. She played with her thoughts for some time and started humming a tune. After a while, Aastha turned around only to find Harlyn's instrument standing in front of her. Aastha wasn't sure if she was Catherine or Harlyn. She confirmed the same through her inner voice which was immediately responded to by Catherine.
"I am Catherine. Our masters have left. Only Menal is yet to leave".
"What are both of you doing here?" a voice came from behind Catherine which startled both of us. It was Bela.
Aastha began - "I was drinking water in the kitchen and Catherine came to see who was in the kitchen".
"Is it the right time for you to chat or go off to sleep?" Bela showed her anger.
"Don't act like a strict warden, lady," replied Catherine. We are going to sleep. She kissed Bela on her cheeks before leaving for her bed".
"Tell that moron to sleep. She was about to commit a dastardly act, suicide without writing any note for us. You know how important she is to everyone. Catherine communicated her message to Bela through her inner place so that it doesn't reach Aastha's ears.
Turning to Aastha, Bela began "Should I send an invitation letter to you so that you go off to sleep?
"No," replied Aastha
"Hey, what's this? A knife on the slab".
"What were you doing with the knife? Were you trying to hurt yourself with it?"
"I wasn't doing anything. I swear by your name, Mom".
"Okay. Just don't play with it. Did you take your medicines as prescribed?"
"Yes".
"Okay. Now go to sleep. Your everyday dream is our reality", she murmured.
"What did you just say?"
"Oh. Nothing that you cannot understand”.
On 15th May 2020, Aastha heard it for the first time while reading Bhagwad Gita. She heard the word ‘Shri Krishna’ in the left ear which was partially affected during the game. She felt some warmth within and her eyes swelled with tears of joy. At first she looked around to see who took the name. However, there was no one around. Everyone was in the room and it was time for their tea.
"Aastha, please prepare tea for us?" shouted Bela
"Can I make tea in ten minutes?" Aastha requested.
"I am on the verge of completing a chapter of Bhagwad Gita. I cannot leave it in between," she thought.
The words of wisdom are like pearls of a necklace that must be woven intricately. She read beautiful lines somewhere and scribed the quotes in her diary.
Routine reading of different scriptural doctrines and research on the internet became a habit she gradually acquired. Adhyatam Ramayana, Bhagwad Gita, Vishnu Purana, Garuda Purana and her most favorite two - The Bhagwatam and Kalki Purana were few of her cherished readings. A marked change occurred whereby quietude and inner peace replaced timeless restlessness.
Aastha gradually progressed to a better phase. She could now wish to lead a better life. Her wishes and desires were not subject to the rules of the game.
Her success with a steady composure is attributed to her affinity toward saintliness and saintly objects. She began research on topics of spiritualism like that of six enemies of the mind when she found the following shloka (verse) -
Kama Krodascha Lobhascha Dehe Thishtanthi Taskarah Jnana Ratno-paharaya Tasmat Jagrata Jagrata.
It means desire, anger, greed, attachment, pride, jealousy—these dacoits are residing within your own body. They are not outside. They are residing as fifth column enemies within you. And, why are they there? To loot you of the Jnana-Ratna, to rob you of the precious gem of spiritual wisdom or atma-jnana, to loot you and deprive you of the precious gem of Self-awareness and make you forget your Self and weep and wail and be in ignorance. To deprive you of this jewel of atma-jnana, they are there. Therefore, oh man, oh Sadhak, Jagrata, Jagrata. Beware, beware. In this way, from the submerged level of the chitta or the deep within, various samskaras and vasana are brought into activity.
— Adi Sankaracharya
To everyone's amazement, her aggression and unsteadiness in speech and actions were verily replaced by kindness and stability. To the detriment of magical gaits, they couldn't make their food.
Her attachment from material objects and sensual pleasures gradually decreased with more indulgence into reading spiritual scriptures. Her attachment to everything and everyone around decreased to a minimum. This couldn't be tolerated by her mates, who were magical gaits. Hence they had to interfere again.
This time, it was Garima who took the place of Menal for she was the only one left in the group who had to be made in due time. She approached Aastha at the behest of Parth, who wanted her restlessness and anxiety more than anything else. Parth was one of their masters. He was making his food through the girls every day.
"Why do you pray to God? There is no god where you stay. She began politely."
"Every "body" has it's day. When will my day come? Perhaps the last day of my life will be my new beginning, also the best day of my life," Aastha wondered.
"I asked why do you pray to some God of yours," Garima repeated. "This is not a place where your god can ever come. You are imprisoned with us, as our slave for a lifetime. Why don't you understand our language, our world?"
"I just understand Shri Krishna and no one else."
"Who is he, your Krishna?"
'Shri Krishna. He is not a God but a superhuman. He is the supreme controller of the universes. He is in me. He is what you are. He is everywhere, omnipotent and omnipresent. He is the supreme consciousness in everyone. For the material world, he is an incarnation while in the spiritual world, he is the highest saint and the source of all material souls. Your world is also formed from him. In the Celtic or magical world, the supreme source of power and magic is him. He is the source of both black and white magic, that is, magic as a whole. He is the biggest magician and the source of all magicians of all the universes.
"I didn't want to know so much about your Shri Krishna, Aastha," began Garima. We just know one Kishan which is our master's other name. "However, I see the name is quite popular," she chuckled.
"Shri Krishna is my master while Kishan is yours," Aastha replied. That difference will remain always.
"Why do you love someone whom you have not seen?" queried Garima. I am sure you haven't seen your Krishna. He is a piece of shit. All gods are.
"Mind your language, Garima. He is not your gait," angered Aastha.
"Don't get angry, chick. We are also not your gait. We are magical gaits, all bisexuals indulging in free sex and sin. How will we know about your Krishna? He is just literature or some information for us, nothing more.
Neither you nor your god is of any interest to us except that you are of use to us by all means. This way Garima ended an hour-long conversation.
They, her family members stopped paying her well. With an amount of Rs. five hundred per week they came down to rupees two hundred which bore heavy on the girl. Aastha couldn't thrive on so less money. The only spending she had was on food articles like cakes, chocolates, and chips. At times, she would save money to indulge in some sinful pleasure like her favorite food from a favorite restaurant. Earning more than a penny was now necessary. Hence, she searched for a job suitable for her placement that she could take upon her terms and conditions and which would give her not much but satisfaction and some fillers for her pocket. "Work from home" advertisements didn't do well for her. It was now that she realized how difficult it is to survive. Survival of the fittest was the law of this land but only for her. She had to earn and live her life on meager terms while others who laughed at her, enjoyed their earnings through illegal means like betting, lottery, gambling, prostitution etc. Their survival, though dependent on her, wasn't at all difficult. It was made easy by Harry, who was the head of their clan.
There was no one for Aastha, except faith, herself, and Shri Krishna whom she had started loving little more than herself.
By Shri Krishna's grace, she used her abilities to make test series for students, an ability which she acquired at Aim Law Institute. Upon advertisement on social media, a person by the name of Amit Shah approached her for making test series for his students on a contract basis for various states for which he would pay rupees two per question. It was a non-negotiable bargain that she inevitably had to lose to gain some contract.
Her work was burdensome but gave her immense hope for good and some faith in the stability of finances.
In the meanwhile, Ankur approached her for help. He was her ex-student and friend at Aim Law Institute. He approached her for teaching some subjects for his exams through telecommunication. She would now be pressured into teaching him through phone calls.
He was known to be attracted to Aastha since the time he met her in the Institute. That is what he confessed. His likes or dislikes for her were never an issue. It was always an attraction that followed him to connect with Aastha.
He requested Aastha to be his teacher, guide, and mentor for his exams. He asked - "Can you teach me? I am appearing for the upcoming judicial service exams."
Aastha connived and allowed her entry into her, not-so-interesting life.
Their friendship blossomed into a bonding that turned out to be short-lived. He displayed his erotic feelings for Aastha which was responded to negatively in the beginning. She had never had sex with anyone throughout her life. She was thrown into a den at an age when she could have one. At this den, intimacy with any gait was impossible as all were magical gaits.
Ankur's conversation would often begin with -
"Hi, love. How are you doing? Can you kiss me?"
"That is not possible through phone would be the obvious reply that would come through Aastha. Can we talk about something else?"
"He would be persistent and indulge in erotic talks that would raise both of their piques and lead them into a different romanticism with each other. It would fizzle out soon as studies would come in between them. Their friendship also saw all levels of high and low due to this."
Once, at night, when he was in a mood for some friendly talks he asked "Do you know what is masturbation?"
Aastha's reply was innocent. She didn't know anything except that she had learned something about it from her ex-boyfriend Ankit which she forgot. It was purely theoretical.
Changing the topic back to studies, Aastha would teach him certain topics of law which would jeopardize her time. She felt her interests got thwarted by teaching him free of cost.
"Can you pay me some money for teaching", she once thought of asking him. But their friendship came in between.
Her interests had changed. She wanted to buy time and invest more of it in learning some spiritual and metaphysical concepts. She became more inward and silent than ever. The only restlessness in her life was Ankur and his erotic talks. However, she soon learned something more valuable to her in her spiritual development. "Lust is nothing but a material contamination of love". She learned about lust and love both at the same time.
Her participation in online competitions was eyed upon by her family members who used to mock her penury now and then. She had to beg for some money every week when they stopped giving her anything for weeks to come. In due time, she completed the first contract that she successfully submitted to her client. After that, she saw through some financial stability with no time for any recreation. Alternating between work, studies with Ankur, and her research, she found no time for herself.
Garima intervened in her career endeavors more than her family members. All were one on one point, which is, her downfall. They were asked to play with her and stop her from winning any competition or any financial dealing at the behest of Parth. Garima harassed her while she attained new heights with her spirituality, which took everyone by surprise.
Garima and her gang of girls used to make fun of her. "What use are you of, you moron? We are superior to you. We are magical gaits. What are you?", they used to say.
Bullying her was a usual routine for them. However, they crossed their line of morality, when they roared - You will never become a mother. What ill-fated person are you? You will never be taken up.
Once Aastha became tensed on these questions - "What if I die here? There are no last funeral rites for a Hindu in a magical world inhabited by those who can never die. Will I be ever picked up? If yes, then when? I don't want to grow old with the magical gaits."
At once, a voice came, "You will not grow old till the time you are in the magical world'. She researched immensely on topics of death and the last funeral rites and read through Garuda Puran. On the concepts of nature of soul, she read a whole book and found that her age, decay, and death are all interlinked. She, though being in a magical world will grow, decay, and die like other mortals for she is not an immortal. Her heart is.
It will belong to Harry and the community after her death. That is what she once heard from Garima and the gang. They said -
"You are Harry's food. His protein. Die soon and give him your heart".