The moment we arrived at the palace, Cecil immediately welcomed us – me.
“Princess! I missed you!” With that, the maid who assisted me outside the carriage gave me to Cecil.
“Ce!” I touched Cecil’s face and hugged her.
I, too, miss her so much. Before going on a vacation, we hardly saw each other.
“I can truly see that the princess is very fond of you,” Emilia and the others walk toward us.
Immediately, Cecil made her greetings to each one of them. Even the Dukes went straight to the palace and not to their individual mansions. So Cecil also made sure to greet them properly.
“We will be staying here for the night and not at our mansions, are the chambers ready?” Emilia asked no one in particular.
Miss Floren, the head maid, stepped forward and greeted all of us.
“Everything is set, Your Grace. You can now rest easy and wait for the banquet without any interruptions.”
“Good, let’s go,” Emilia then looked at me and Cecil then towards Nix, “Nix, let’s go.”
“Do take care of her, she may still be tired,” Lucil smiled at us and looked at the twins.
The children are still talking and recounting their adventures while the two Dukes are engaged in a deep conversation meters from us.
“See you later Fifi!”
“We’ll see you around Ria.”
When the Dukes noticed that Emilia and Lucil are now walking in different directions, they hurriedly shook each other hands and bid farewell.
Everyone almost left, except for me, Cecil, Finnian, and Miss Florence.
“Young Duke, I will arrange a carriage for your safe return to your mansion.”
Finnian only looked at her and nodded.
Miss Florence offered her hand towards Finnian. Finnian looked at it then looked up at me.
“Come on now, your father must be worried.”
Florence took his hand, then looked at Cecil.
“Take care of the princess. She must be tired from her journey.”
With that, she left together with Finnian. Finnian kept on looking at me while walking away. Florence made small talks with him which cause him to look at her.
“Let’s go, Princess.”
“Wait,” I told Cecil, I want to watch Finnian walk away safely until I could no longer have a glimpse of his back.
Cecil only smiled at me and then waited patiently as I continue looking at Finnian.
He’s going back to his father’s mansion. Will he be alright? We found him at the marketplace with no guards with him. He either easily slipped past everyone at the mansion or the people over there just don’t care about him.
During our brief moments together, I saw scars all over his back and shoulders. I bet the maids also saw it but made no comment about it.
When he holds my hand, there’s a gentle but firm grip as if telling me to always hold them as he continues to live on.
Or maybe I’m just overanalyzing a child’s casual and normal behavior.
“Princess, the young duke is already out of sight. Let’s go?”
“Okay,” I continued hugging Cecil and resting my head on her shoulders.
I want to close my eyes for a bit.
*****
I found myself in a dome where everything is black. At the center, there were writings on the floor and torches encircling the writings.
It is some kind of ritual. The Magician I saw during my first night here, was in front of a goblet that is placed in front of the writings.
He’s chanting something to it.
I looked around and saw a few imperial guards and the emperor. He’s standing on one of the seats above focusing on me and on the ritual.
“We present this blood in front of thee, as a symbol of peace and unity. With this blood, give heed unto our plea, to continue to lead and guide this world, these people. With this blood, we call upon the greatest of all the greats. With this blood, we call upon the realm of the dragons. We humbly ask you to bestow us a gift.”
With that chant, although we were located indoors, the wind is blowing through the torches and I watched the fire dance through the wind without going out.
One of the people in red robes guided me towards the magician and carried me.
The magician pulled out a dagger and gently held my hand.
“Endure it, Princess. This is part of who you are.”
With that, the one who was carrying me covered my eyes gently as I felt immense pain in my palm. Something sticky glided over my palm. I bet it's blood.
My body responded by itself. I started crying and wailing.
“Grandpaaaa! It hurts!” I struggled and wanted to get away from this ritual. I looked up at the emperor for mercy but all I received was a cold stare.
I have always looked forward to this day, to prove myself that I am someone, I am of imperial blood but all I felt was agony.
I felt bitter inside. After years of not talking to me, years of always giving me that cold stare, he suddenly wanted me to undergo the Vinculum ceremony.
I thought he did not care about me, it was pretty clear that he does not consider me as one of his grandchildren. He does not even think I have imperial blood within my veins so why am I undergoing this ceremony?
I learned through my classes, that when a child undergoes the ceremony, their parents would be the ones holding them. Would be the ones consoling them, this would lessen the pain for the parents would also take upon them the pain.
But I have no one, this does not apply to someone I am not related with. Only grandpa can share the pain with me but he chose to just speculate.
The person holding me continued to calm me down and cover my face but I ripped my face out of his hand which was preventing me from seeing the blood on my hand.
I stared at it as my blood dripped onto the goblet.
The room became quiet, the wind has died down and we waited for something to happen.
Seconds became minutes but nothing happen.
The magician looked at me, looked at the writings on the floor, then at the emperor.
He shook his head, disappointment written all over his face. He then looked at me pitifully.
“The child is not of imperial blood!”
He declared boldly and this echoed through the dome.
After the declaration I heard someone slam the door, I looked up and the emperor was no longer there.
He slammed the door on his way out.
Am I not really of imperial blood? The dragons did not respond with my blood, in itself, is already proof that I am no one. My father was not really my father, and my grandfather was not really my grandfather.
Although it’s not really shocking, I kept on recalling the moments when the maids and other nobles would talk behind my back about me, being a fake. Everyone would look at me with those hideous eyes, always shouting at me that I don’t belong here.
I felt so much bitterness inside of me even misery.
“I am no one,” I whispered to myself.
All I wanted was to be loved by the people I love but after years of living inside the palace, all I ever received was complete and utter silence.
It’s like I kept on reaching my hand towards a mirage. I kept on thinking maybe today is the day that grandpa will look at me lovingly, the way he looks at my cousins, but I would always end up with cold empty hands.
I could not help myself but cry. I’m crying from physical and emotional pain.
The world is so unfair, why was I even brought here in the first place.
I looked around, again.
Come to think of it, the vinculum ceremony was supposed to be held outside with the public eye. Since this would also serve as a display of power when a dragon is born. And if a red dragon is born, the ceremony will also serve as a crowning ceremony for the next emperor or empress. It is when the crown prince or crown princess will be announced.
But my vinculum ceremony is held somewhere where no one else can witness it. Only people from the tower are here and a few guards.
The emperor already expected that no dragon will give heed to my blood since I am not really of imperial blood.
I kept on crying, I’m feeling everything at once. Disappointment towards myself and anger towards the emperor. Why can’t he just love me even though I am not truly his granddaughter?
I grew up with him, why didn’t he learn to love me after all those years of being together? He never showed me an ounce of love but I kept on hoping that one day he would look at me – not just someone who will one day be beneficial to him but as someone whom he truly loves?
Am I really that hard to love?