Luna's POV
I sigh as I watch Devon from afar. He was sitting in front of an urn.
His best friend's urn.
Apparently, the last task that my aunt was talking about was for him to face his fear.
It all started with her, his best friend, that fellow idol who died then.
He loved his best friend too much but she hated him in the end. They got into a relationship but in the end, things did not work out but it had gotten worse.
She was battling with depression and her being closed to him had become a factor on why some people were bullying her.
You know how there are some weird and insecure people who doesn't have anything good to do with their lives.
Until now, I don't understand why she needs to be hated because of being close to a male idol. The fact that they were in a secret relationship before came out too but only with a few people.
Was it jealousy?
Devon didn't know about the bullying initially but she ended up blaming Devon for everything.
I knew the girl probably didn't mean to but of course, I can't imagine what she's been going through that time especially since Devon isn't aware of what's happening to her then.
I bit my lip after I saw Devon crying.
I can't hear what he is saying but it was clear that he's having a breakdown.
No matter how much I'd like to run into his arms and hug him, I can't.
After our little drama at my aunt's office earlier, we barely even talked on our way to the columbarium.
I don't know what our status is right now and my heart is restless.
I feel like he still cares for me but it's obvious that he'd been avoiding me.
He was even a little distant when we arrive at the columbarium as if he was afraid that someone would see us together.
Is he ashamed of me?
I flinched as I heard him whimper.
My hands automatically covered my lips as I stare at his current state.
He was bawling his eyes out.
My heart shattered into pieces as I hear him cry. He was hurting so much.
"Devon..." I whispered.
This so heartbreaking.
He must have held all these tears for so long and he was finally able to release all of it.
I decided to call Jiro.
I don't think Devon can do this alone. And this time, no matter how much I'd love to stand beside him, I don't think it's my place to do that.
He had been hurting for so long.
I heard someone answered at the first ring as if the person was waiting for my call all along.
"Luna, is there something wrong?"
I smile at his worried tone.
Ever since we'd made up, he'd been the best cousin ever and I appreciate him taking care of me a lot. However, this time, I think a different person needs his help more.
"No. I'm fine. But," I looked at Devon and sigh. "Devon needs you. He needs all of you right now."
I heard the other line went silent and soon enough, Joshua oppa's voice was heard on the other line.
"Is there something wrong?" he sounded worried.
"Where are you?" Noah added.
"Is he okay?" Joseph chimed in.
A sigh escaped my lips.
"He's not fine and he needs you." I told them as I added the address of the columbarium.
"Okay, just stay with him and we'll be right there." Sylver stated.
"Luna?" I heard Jiro call.
"Yes?"
"How about you? Are you really okay?"
My voice seemed stock at my lungs as no sound escaped my lips.
I felt my throat hurting as I try not to cry.
"Luna..." Jiro whispered probably now aware of my current state.
"Oppa..." I muttered as my voice cracked.
After hearing my voice, I heard him sigh.
He knew.
I never call Jiro oppa.
"I'll be there." he muttered and the line was cut off.
Because of this, I can no longer stop myself from crying.
All the pain that I've been keeping, it all went down on me.
I had never asked for love. Not even once.
But then again, I guess it's my fault for getting into this situation.
I mean, I was just supposed to go and work at our store but then I had an episode with Sarah which leads to me meeting her brother.
I should have stopped at that point. But no, I thought it would be fun to see her brother.
I fell in love.
My heart fluttered.
And now my heart is broken.
Who said love is an easy thing?
It was never easy. It's not like I will meet him. We'll fell for each other and we'll live a happily ever after. It doesn't go like that.
But then, a part of me was wishing that it would.
The feeling that I had over those times that we've been together had been the best moment of my life.
Every time he brushes my hair while my head was on his lap, allowing me to sleep, I felt like I was the luckiest girl in the world.
All those back hugs, pecks on the lips and him kissing me on the forehead, it made my heart go crazy.
My life had been more than of a roller coaster ride when I am with him.
Before I knew it, my feet had lead me to his direction and now, I am standing behind him, watching as he now silently weep by himself.
Staring even at his back this close makes me realize how much I miss him.
All those moments that we've spent together, it all keeps flashing on my mind.
If I can only turn back time, I'd wish I had wake up that time and attended my cousin's wedding so I won't have to meet him.
But I knew my heart would say otherwise.
Regardless of how much hurt I am feeling right now, I'm still glad that I met him.
He must have felt my presence so he turned around.
Once his eyes landed on me, he stood up from the ground and moved closer to my direction.
"Luna..." his voice hoarse from all the crying.
He automatically reached towards me and engulf me in a hug.
It was too strong it felt like he was crushing me but I let him. His mind seemed to be blocked for a second.
I want to savor this moment.
Him being close to mine.
Him being close to my grasp.
Him being mine.
My heart broke at the thought.
After a while, I felt his arms loosen up a bit but he doesn't release.
I don't even know how long we stayed like this, no words coming out from the both of us and the silence undistinguished whether a good thing or not.
"Luna!!!" Devon immediately released me from his hug once we heard Jiro calling out my name.
The boys rushing in towards our direction.
My hands immediately wiped away the tears streaming through my cheeks.
Jiro rushed towards me and pulled me in a hug.
I buried my face in his chest as I silently whimper.
"Devon, are you okay?" I heard Noah asked.
I was already spacing out as I block everything around me.
"Luna, let's go." Jiro pulled me away fron them but before we even reached his car, I pulled my hands from him.
He looked at me worriedly as I stare flat on the ground.
"What's wrong?"
I looked up and stared back at him.
"Please go back to him." I muttered and he looked at me like I am some crazy person.
"Please... He needs you. He needs his friends." I pleaded him.
"Are you crazy? Are you actually asking me to leave you here alone?" he said bewildered at what I was saying.
"Please. I can manage in my own. I called Yessa. We'll be meeting so please go back." my hands clasped together.
"Aisssst" He looked at me dejected as he messed up his hair.
I looked at him helplessly.
"Aaarrrgghhhh!!!!!" he screamed and I had to stare at the ground, afraid to look at him this time.
"Park Luna..."
I stopped myself from looking, afraid I'd give in once I looked back.
"Okay." he gave up. "I will go back but promise me you'll call me once you're with Yessa, okay?" he said as I felt him moved towards my direction.
He slowly lifted my face until our eyes met. "Be safe, okay?"
I just nodded.
He stared at me for a moment before I watch him turn around and run back to where the boys are.
Is this how it is supposed to feel when you let go?
"It was his dream. His friends had been waiting for more than two years. I'd be foolish to stop him when he's born to stand on that stage. It's where he belongs, not here. Not with me." I told to myself before I turned around leaving them all behind.
My feet slowly moved forward as I walk away from the columbarium.
It's already getting dark.
I decided to hide on the corner until I saw their car passes, afraid they might see me once they go home.
Once I saw their car passing by, a went out to where I was hiding and walked my way home.
I needed some fresh air.
I stare at the sky in front of me.
There are not so many people around.
Again, I started spacing out, no longer minding the people I was bumping with.
It doesn't hurt anyway.
Bumping shoulders with people isn't much compare to what I am feeling righ now.
The pain that I'm keeping inside, it's unbearable.
I feel like I was falling down on an endless pit of fire and the pain isn't going away.
It's never-ending.
And then I felt a drop of water on my skin.
I stopped from walking and spread my hands in front.
Another drop.
And another.
Wow. Even the sky is sympathizing with my pain.
Soon enough, water started drizzling, and I did not go and went to some place to keep myself from getting wet.
Until the drizzle became stronger. It's now raining.
It doesn't matter.
At least people wouldn't see me crying pathetically.
I still walked forward, not minding the weird stares that I'm getting from other people.
My hands surrounded my arms as I felt the cold night.
My body shivered a little but I still walked forward.
I should be happy because he'll finally be able to do what he loves to do.
But why do I feel so broken inside?
It feels like I'm breathing but I'm no longer alive?
Why did I have to meet you, Kim Devon?
Why?