Haiden's POV
"Lisa?" I called for my girlfriend's name, my hand feeling the empty space beside me.
She didn't come home? I thought to myself.
I bite my lower lip. Slowly, I started getting off of her bed, my hand reached for my hair as I try to fix it from being all over the place.
Was I too mean to her? Was she upset?
I can't help but think a lot of things.
Lately, I've been so busy and all the stress is starting to eat my system.
Normally, I don't really share the boys my problems and I wouldn't with Lisa but sometimes I find myself being grumpy and she takes it all.
I feel so bad about it especially since she doesn't utter a word.
I wouldn't be surprise if she suddenly breaks up with me because I have been treating her like shit and all.
As I open the door on her room, I was greeted by her lovely face. Her hair was tied in a messy bun, her body hugging a loose shirt that I was sure was missing on my closet. Or did I leave it here?
Her face brightened at the sight of me and I bowed a little when I saw Jessie talking with her. They were sitting on the couch.
"Babe," she greeted before walking straight to me, her arms immediately wrapping around my body and I did the same.
My cheeks blushed a little when I saw Jessie smirking.
Between the two of us, Lisa was the showy one. She was never afraid to show her affection towards me even though someone is with us. And I am thankful for that.
I don't want her to feel unloved but my insecurities are always eating my system and the courage I thought I have seemed to disappear every time.
"Did you sleep well?" she asked as she pull away a little, her beautiful face catching me off-guard as always.
"Lisa..." I called her name.
Why isn't she getting angry?
"Are you going back to the office? Do you want to go together? Or do you want to go out on a date?" she smiled and I know I'm getting attach to her even more.
"Stop being too clingy Lisa. Let Haiden breathe," Jessie chuckled and I started coughing.
Lisa pouted and I cupped her face immediately, a smile emerging on my face.
"How about we grab a breakfast on the cafe across the office?" I told her and her face immediately brightens.
My hands pinch her cheeks and she grins.
"I'll pick you in twenty," I told her and she jumped over me for a quick peck on the lips. My eyes widened as she caught me off-guard Jessie's laughter echoing across the room.
"I, ahm, I'll go," I stuttered and Lisa giggled. She always does whenever she realized how I am getting flustered.
As I open the door, I heard her teasing which earned another set of laughter from Jessie.
"I'll wear something sexy," she shouted and I grunted internally before going out of their unit.
I shook my head in amusement as I stare blankly on the door of the unit next door which is ours.
I wonder if the boys are inside.
As I push the doorknob open, I was greeted by a very gloomy atmosphere.
The boys were all gathered in the living room, Samantha was sitting beside Josh and Rosie does the same with Jake.
Rome was pacing back and forth in the middle.
"Something wrong?" I asked and all heads turned towards my direction.
Vash's face looked pale and so was Jason's.
Yohan hyung was looking elsewhere but me while Josh hyung looks so worried.
"What's with this atmosphere?" I asked awkwardly.
Something isn't wrong and I can feel it.
"What?" I asked again and this time, even I noticed how stern my voice had been. I sat on the empty couch opposite of Vash's and I felt my stomach churning.
I have this feeling that whatever the boys are hiding concerns me.
"Hyung, you tell him," I heard Vash whispered as he pushes Josh hyung a little.
"Yah, Lisa said it's fine. And why should I do it? There's Rome,"
"Coz you're the oldest, you idiot,"
"Aww!" Josh hyung snickered after Samantha hit him on the shoulder.
"What do you mean Lisa said it's fine?" I asked again. I'm starting to get pissed off.
I hate being left in the dark. Actually, almost everybody hates it.
"Ah, you see, someone posted pictures of you and Lisa," Rome started and I can easily tell that this will head to something that will make me mad.
"And?"
Jason started coughing. "I don't think you should actually read the comments," he started and I immediately pulled the phone resting on my pocket.
Once I did, I saw a lot of notifications on my screen which I never noticed since my phone was in silent mode.
Every scroll, I felt my hands tightening it grip on the phone.
"Hyung..."
"Stop reading Haiden," I heard Rome stated and I gritted my teeth in anger.
All of these are hate comments towards Lisa. And apparently, some rumors came out that she's working for Healing Heart Entertainment and that she's using me for fame or something.
"So," my voice broke a little, which they know only happens when I am angry, "You're telling me Lisa had seen all of these?" I asked and I saw them lowering their heads.
"And she said it's fine?" I exclaimed. "They are calling her names and she's fine with it? Yah, Rome-ah, did our boss said anything?" I asked and he looked at me in worry.
"I think he and Lisa talked. He wanted to talk to you but Lisa handled it earlier because you're sleeping,"
"Aist," I sigh in frustration. "Why does she have to handle it herself? I should be the one fixing this!" I growled in anger and that's when the front door open. Lisa came in wearing a pair of pants and a black shirt tucked in on her pants. Her hair was still dripping wet and I was sure she went here in a hurry.
"You haven't changed?" She asked and I know she knew why but she's acting like nothing's happened.
"You saw all of these?" I asked her, my voice getting louder than the usual. I stood up as she walks closer, her face serious and that made me even angrier. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"You're sleeping. I took care of it and it's no big deal. Why are you shouting?" she answered calmly and I can feel everything building up inside me.
"It is a big deal to me Lisa. What do you think I would feel seeing my fans calling you names and all?"
"They are not your fans if they can't accept what will make you happy. And I don't give a fuck on whatever they call me because I only care about you. I don't want you getting stressed out over these things so I told Bang PD that everything is cool," she stated.
"What?" I lifted my gaze on the ceiling to ease my frustration. "You can't just do this Lisa. You think they will stop? They won't. And trust me, It'll only get worse,"
She looked at me exasperated.
"So what? You want the company to release a statement that we aren't dating? Or do you want to break up with me? Is that what you want?" she stepped closer and I can feel her starting to get angry too.
"Guys, calm down. Let's talk it out," I heard Rome but my eyes were focused on her.
"It's not like that Lisa. What I'm trying to say is, let me do my job as your boyfriend. You can't just decide about things like this. You shouldn't, "
"And why not? So you can get stressed over it than you already are? Tell you what, let me do my job as your girlfriend too. Because the way I see it, your other job is keeping you occupied so I thought I can take the burden off your shoulder by stepping up. They are calling me names and not you and I'm telling you I don't mind so what's your problem?"
"Whatever, you won't listen. Let's talk some other time," I told her as I walk my way towards my room.
"Go change because we're having breakfast," she stated and I turned around.
"We are not. People will see us together and that'll make things worse,"
"Don't make me repeat myself Haiden. I'll wait for you there," she said before turning her back.
"Go to your unit Lisa. I have work to do," I told her and I know she heard me.
I just wish she'd listen.
She walked out of the unit and a sigh escaped my lips.
I continue heading to my room and didn't bother looking back even though my members are calling me.
Should I do a V-live to calm them down? I don't want people attacking her because of me.
Lisa, what am I going to do with you?
---
Haiden's POV
"I'll do a V-live to calm them down," I told my manager and he just let out a sigh.
He moved towards the front to set it up.
"Haiden, actually I don't think that's a good idea. I mean, you're not feeling particularly well," Rome stated but I didn't answer.
Lisa went to the cafe like she said and Samantha had to fetch her along with Jessie and Rosie.
She had been sitting there for two hours and I only found out after I saw her photos in social media when a few of our fans called out that she looks like the girl with me on the previous photos that were posted online.
I tried calling her but she ignored my calls and now I'm in our office. Bang PD didn't say a word. They don't actually restrain us from being in a relationship but if things get out of hand, that's when they step in.
"Rome, I'm fine. Just, let me do this," I told him and I heard Josh hyung snickered.
"Stop acting all tough Haiden. It's okay to feel hurt. Don't do the same mistakes that I did with Samantha. You very well knew how I almost lost her, for the same reason," He stated, his arms cross as his back rested on the wall.
"Hyung, this is different. I don't want to drag her with me. She'd already had too much pain in her. I don't want to cause even more of that,"
"Tsk, you think you're not hurting her by not listening to what she wants? It's so obvious that she meant it when she said she doesn't care. Is it hard to understand that she only cares about you? That she doesn't give a single fuck about those hates? Is it hard to understand that you found a girl who is selfless enough to put up with everything despite all this?"
"Yah!" I moved closer and Rome stood up between us.
"Haiden," He warned. Being together for so many years, we've fought a lot. Josh hyung was never strict with us despite being the oldest and we never crossed the line even though he was always friendly with us.
However, I am starting to get really piss off. Not because of what he is saying but because he was actually right. And that I get his point.
"Is it wrong for me to worry for her?" I asked in defeat. My knees shaking a little unable to handle the emotions I have inside.
I had never broken down in front of my members. My emotions are always enclosed, and I know they were worried.
"It isn't. But because you always worry about people, you forgot they worry about you too. It's okay to let people worry for you Haiden. Because a lot of people care about you..." he stated. Gone was the sternness in his voice. All I hear is sincerity and I know he mean what he said.
"Haiden, you can't always be the happy pill that everybody knew. We all know it's starting to be a burden for you and I'm sure Lisa knows it that's why she's doing that. You've protected us for so long..." Rome stared at me in worry, "Let other people protect you too,"
Our manager went out after setting up my live.
"Think about it Haiden. If this continue, you might regret the consequences," Josh hyung stated before turning his back. Rome gave me a lingering look before following Josh hyung as he pulled the door shut.
A sigh escaped my lips.
My eyes landed on the phone before me. The sound of it beeping getting my attention.
"Have your breakfast,"
My stomach churn at the message before me. It's from Lisa.
I very well knew that she cools down easily. No matter how angry she is, she's always the first to put down her guard and reach out. That's one reason why we easily made up whenever we have a fight.
However, we never really fought this big before. Our arguments mostly consist of simple things, like disagreeing on opinions about movies, what food to order for takeout, and how she almost have every piece of my shirt. But the last one I don't actually mind because I love seeing her on mine.
My hands balled into a fist. Without even thinking, I started my V-live, a fake smile showing on my face, something I do rarely but I still have to do it because people knew me as Haiden, the happy pill of VOELEVARD.
Sometimes, I have to fake a smile even though I don't feel like it. I have to show I'm happy even though I'm hurting inside. And I know Lisa can feel it. If there's one thing I was sure about, it's that Lisa can see through my emotions very well.
She knows when I am not okay even when everybody thinks I am.
My eyes caught the comments continuously popping on the V-live. I spaced out I totally forgot I am already online.
"Hello," I smiled before waving to the viewers. The smile once again forming on my lips.
This time, it's genuine. Seeing the comments asking me if I'm fine and not to worry about everything makes my heart flutter. Truthfully, not all fans can accept everything about their idols and seeing comments that says they will support us whatever happens, whatever we like, makes us feel all over the moon.
"I miss you guys," I told them.
But of course, like I said, not everyone will be happy for you.
Yesterday was too bad. Because Healing Heart Entertainment did not release any statement about my dating news, a few fans were frantic about it.
"Is that girl really your girlfriend, oppa?"
"But you can't date. Jake and Josh oppa are already dating,"
"She looks like a doll, oppa. I'm happy for you!".
"I love you oppa!"
"Where are the others?"
"Can you call the other members?"
"She's not your girlfriend oppa, right? You only love us, right?"
"She's a slut oppa, stay away from her,"
The comments keep coming in and it made me silent.
The smile still showing on my face but deep inside, I can feel my anger starting to build up.
"How are you guys?" I tried to change the subject but a few of the fans keep on asking questions about Lisa.
The last one catching me off-guard.
"I'll make sure to leave a bruise on her face if I see her,"
That made me snap.
"Don't,"
My eyes closed for a moment, my breathing started to be irregular.
Don't get mad Haiden.
---
Haiden’s POV
I was trying to calm myself when the door suddenly burst open revealing a very worried Jason.
"Jason," I called and he looked at me like he wants to tell me something.
"Hyung!" he started acting being jolly but I know why he came in.
They must have seen the live and wanted to draw the attention to him.
I smile to him in gratitude.
"Hello everyone!" he greeted giving out a wink to our fans.
I stood up for a moment to calm myself so I went out of the frame, Jason's eyes following my movement.
He was talking to our fans as I drink a zip of water before getting back on the frame, a smile now showing on my face.
My chest tightened.
I don't want this. I don't want to show a fake me to the people who loves me.
And when I get back on the frame, the comments about Lisa came in again and I can feel myself about to explode.
And that's when I saw a username that is so familiar with me.
She was leaving multiple messages with the same comments. And I know she did it so I can see it in case there are a lot of comments popping
"I'm fine... Keep calm, I love you,"
Lisa...
My eyes closed for a moment.
Even after all of these, all she thinks about is me.
She knows I'm at my limit so she stays with me there so we can climb back together.
Lisa, she's always there for me, loving me at both my best and worse.
And I love her the same way.
A smile suddenly shows on my face.
Lisa doesn't give a fuck to what my fans would say about her because she only cares about me.
"Hyung..." Jason asked in worry.
I opened my eyes and looked at him, a smile now showing on my face.
I guess it's time I don't give a fuck to what they say too, huh?
I faced the screen and didn't mind the comments showing.
I knew not everyone of our fans hates the person we love because we knew it from Josh, Jake and Yohan hyung's situation.
There are a lot who loves us the same way with or without a girlfriend.
"Jason, I think you will have to continue my V-live," I told him and he looked at me confused.
"My girlfriend is having breakfast without me," I stated and his jaw dropped.
I chuckled at his reaction.
"Guys, sorry for not telling you sooner but yes, oppa has a girlfriend and she's the most wonderful person I ever met," I started.
I know this will be on every fucking article in five minutes but I don't care.
I need to do this. I don't want to lose myself over all my insecurities.
I can't let all of these eat my happiness away.
Like everybody else, I have every right to be happy. And I won't if I won't start within myself.
Lisa had always made me feel loved but now I know why despite that I wasn't fully happy. Coz I forgot to love myself too.
I forgot to check what will make me happy.
Soft chuckles escaped my lips as realizations hit me.
"Lisa, that's her name. She dances so well she might be better than me. She's sweet and always cares about me first before herself. She's selfless and pure. She's an angel. I know this is too much to ask but I hope you'll send your love to her the same way you guys do to me,"
I heard Jason chuckle and felt him patting my shoulder.
"I'm sorry but I'm going to have to leave you guys with Jason for now but I promise to see you guys soon. I just have to make up with Lisa for ditching her for breakfast twice. You all know how bad it is to let a girl eat alone, right?" I wave goodbye to the screen and didn't even bother checking the comments.
I gave Jason a high five and slowly, my feet draw me towards the door.
I have never felt so light like this before, like, all the bricks on my chest had been lifted.
It feels...wonderful.
One step
Two steps
I was rushing.
I need to see Lisa. She must have been worried for me.
But I was just about to pass the door for my studio when her figure suddenly emerged from the corner, the beads of sweats showing on her face made me realized that she run her way here.
I stopped from my tracks and stare at her.
She's really fucking beautiful.
In a swift, we were both in each other’s arms, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Baby, why are you crying?" I whispered, pulling away a little as I cupped her cheeks.
She was pouting.
"I'm just," she whimpered and I had to give her a kiss on her forehead to calm her down. "I'm proud of you baby. I am so so happy," she stated and that's when I know I made the right decision.
"Thank you baby for always being there for me. For making me feel so love and for patiently waiting. I know you've selflessly stayed with me at my darkest state. You've stayed even though I sometimes push you away. You waited until I can learn to love myself too," I whispered, my forehead meeting hers.
My chest was filled with so much emotion I feel so overwhelmed.
"I love you Jung Haiden," she whispered and I smiled.
"I love you too, Lisa," I told her a smile now showing on her face.
I gave her pecks of kisses on her face which made her giggle.
"Ahm, sorry to break you very intimate moment but can we pass? I need to see Samantha because it's that time of the month," we heard Josh hyung's voice and we both pulled away in shock. He smirked as he passed by us.
"Tsk, that's quite some drama you did there Haiden," Yohan hyung snickered before passing over too.
"Stop making out on the hallway, I swear to God, Healing Heart Entertainment will have to take down every fucking camera in here since you guys keep eating each other on the hallways. And this goes to all of you guys," Vash growled before turning his back, probably to head to Jason and join him on the V-live.
"You're just jealous because you don't have a girlfriend!" Lisa screamed and Vash made a finger without turning back to us, and that made Lisa and I laugh.
Soon enough, it's just us that is left on the hallway.
"So, about that breakfast," Lisa started and slowly, I moved towards her once again, a playful smirk now showing on my face.
"How about we have a different breakfast?" I lick my lower lip and I saw her gulped.
She closed her eyes for a moment as if contemplating over something, I can't help but get amused.
"Fuck it," she mumbled before pulling me by the collar, her other hand opening the door over my studio and the next thing I knew was her pushing me inside, the sound of the door getting locked is what I heard next.
"You better fuck me really bad Jung Haiden. At least you owe me that for ditching me yesterday," she growls and I so love the wild Lisa.
Actually, I love everything about her.
"My pleasure baby," I told her before pulling her for a hungry kiss.
This time, it's just you, my only rock-bottom.
---
Lisa's POV
"You've got to be kidding me..." I turned my attention at the direction of the front door when I heard my boyfriend's voice.
"Whooop! That's some kind of ass work right there," Haiden smack the back of Jason's head at his words.
A smile came across my lips.
In no time, I was already running towards my boyfriend's direction, my arms open wide ready to have the biggest hug ever.
"Ahmp,!" soft chuckles escaped my lips as I heard him gasp for air after the impact.
"I miss you, baby!" I pulled away a little and gave him pecks of kisses all over. I heard the boys laughing at my action.
They just arrive from their tour and the boys came straight from the airport.
"You're seriously not going to dance that in front of so many people, are you?" Haiden pouted as he guided me towards the corner where the chairs are.
"Why? Is it that ugly?" I whined and we heard Vash laughing.
"It wasn't, Lisa. But I'm pretty sure that's going to cost both of you a lot of trouble. Who made those steps by the way?" he laughed and Haiden glared at him.
"I did," I said, very proud.
I've been choreographing a lot of dance and some groups are using my choreography for their songs. I couldn't get any prouder.
Haiden groaned and I smiled at him sweetly.
"Can't you like, remove that part where you were pouncing the goddamn floor, ge'ez Lisa," I laughed even more at his reaction.
"I don't like where this conversation is heading, let me go and find my girl instead," Yohan waved us a goodbye and in no time, the rest of the boys followed.
Rome had to pull Vash by the ear to keep him from staying. As always, that ever so adorable guy.
I heard he's in some relationship with someone from Red Velvet though.
He lifted me from my seat and have me sitting on his lap instead, my arms wrapped around his neck.
"Baby, that fucking dance will be the death of me. It's getting me turned on," he whined and I smiled cheekily.
"You are?" I teased and I started tracing every feature of his beautiful face to my satisfaction.
"Ge'ez, Lisa. I just came back and you're trying to test my patience," I saw him close his eyes and I felt the bulge on his pants getting harder.
"Ooops?" I giggle and he scowled at me.
"How about we go on a date?" he asked and I shrieked out of happiness. It's been months since we last went out and that was just right before they took a flight out of the country.
Sometimes I find it hard that my boyfriend is a goddamn superstar. Not just in Korea but all over the world.
I get people getting jealous of me but I don't give a damn. They can get jealous all they want but I won't give Haiden up.
It's been two years since we started dating and things didn't go all sugar and sweets but it's okay.
I love how our relationship wasn't perfect. But at the end of the day, each of us pulls each other from our rock-bottom states.
"Yeah, let's go out. I miss my baby," he leaned forward and gave me a peck on the lips. A groan escaped my mouth. It was just a peck but I felt my core tightening.
God I fucking miss this sunshine.
I grab the back of his neck and started kissing him deeper. I felt his hands landing on my waist, slowly, his other hand moved slowly cupping my breast along the process.
"Shit, Lisa," he was growling and I shifted through my position until I have him in between my legs.
"Fucking..." he moaned out loud when he felt my tongue meeting his. "Miss this!" I started grinding over him and we were both lost on the sensation before us.
He bit my lower lip and I felt him lower his hand off my chest.
"Damn it, baby. We have CCTV's over here," he whispered in between kisses and I bit his lip harder.
"Fuck, Lisa. Stop or I'll take you here. I don't even care if we have people watching us now," his voice was hoarse and I was fucking ready for him to take me here.
If it wasn't the sound of someone knocking, the two of us wouldn't stop.
"Ah, hyung! I know this is probably not the best time but the security wants you two to know that it's not a scene they wish to see..."
Haiden pulled away from our kiss with our forehead resting alongside. Soft chuckles escaped our lips at what Jason had said.
"Go away Jason..." Haiden teased the younger guy and I raised an eyebrow.
"Hyung, you know it'll be awkward if they ever saw your dick, right?"
The two of us started laughing at what Jason said next.
I pulled him for a hug and he did the same.
"Baby, you make me go crazy..." he whispered on my ear. He then buried his face at the crook of my neck and I have never felt so satisfied in my entire life.
"You do the same to me baby..." I whispered.
"I love you, Lisa. I will never get tired of telling you that," he added and I hummed in response.
I pulled away a little so I can see his face. His expression masked with so many emotion, lust, longing, love.
"I know baby. And I love you all the same. God knows I love you so much more than I did yesterday, the other day, and all those past days. I'm loving you more everyday it's scaring me," I smiled at him and I knew that gave him peace.
Haiden, he has so many fears within him and I will do everything to make him feel that I love him. That he's worth it.
Maybe sending that message was the best decision I made in my life.
And having Haiden beside me, is the best ever gift I can ever hope for.
Because with him, I feel so complete.