Homepage/Blossom Series l False Impressions l Book 1: Lee Heeseung/
Chapter 26: Truth Unfolds
"I'd rather spend my time with no one else but you."
Aerin was completely caught up, surprise was seen on her face. She didn't expects those words to come along, not soon enough. It sounds like a wonderful tune, like the summer of June. It goes so beautiful, and yet seemingly fearful. Startling and clearly confused, there's an ongoing battle between her silly heart and her wayward mind, defeating the former.
She wanted to close her eyes and feel the warmth of his skin. It still feels familiar - his ruggy hands, the tightest clasp but the moment she'll surrender into a reminisce, hurt will again flow, and it's taking over, it's taking her down low.
What they had is like a beautiful dream came true but on a spur of the moment, it turned into night terrors haunting in them in their sleep. Aerin stepped back, hearts open, she's out for a cry. Questions filled her mind and was caught in the middle where the answer is just the same. He didn't come home. He left her all alone.
"I-I've waited for you but you never came back--" she mumbled as the long kept tears finally found it's way out.
Heeseung was stunned from the answer he had got. The outpour of emotions, it's too much to take. Seeing Aerin in the verge of tears is like sharp knives bringing more pain and isolation. She's fighting a sob, desperate in pain that keeps on slicing deeper.
"I know, I was an idiot. I-I was selfish." he again tried to reach for her face.
But instead, Aerin stepped back a little farther, not wanting to be touched. Looking at her startling face, it's as if she'd quickly built a wall, preventing herself to get hurt even more.
"Aerin--" Heeseung was extremely caught off guard. Her, drawing away, is the last thing he thought she'd ever do. "Hear me out, please?"
How fast she shook her head making Heeseung mind clank in disbelief. She refused to listen. She's scared to hear him out because he might say things she's afraid to hear. The shudders covered her in the time when he least expects it.
"I get it, Hee. I get it. You don't need to say anything. Maybe it's better this way. Look at you now." saying it created a nudge in her heart and that tear finally rolled upon her cheek.
She was not a priority. Never was. Never will. Loving Lee Heeseung is like choosing between a two way path that eventually guide you to only one end. Aerin comes to realize, loving him before, they didn't survived the odds. How much more now, when he is on top of the world.
"Aerin--" he was out for words looking at her sluggish tears.
What have he done? Leaving her alone just like that creates a damage he couldn't mend. Heeseung can't hold it anymore. He pulled her close and clasp her tight into his arms. In that moment of embrace and stillness, he let her cry. It's as if those nonstop tears she held in for too long finds it's way out finally. He can feel Aerin fighting with his hug but he's not letting her go even if she pushes him away.
"Stop it. Stop pushing me away." he closed his eyes feeling the pain in her hurtful cries.
Aerin wept like a river. It's the only way her eyes speaks when her heart cannot. She again broke down in Lee Heeseung's arms, not for comfort but pains of the past.
"I'm so sorry I couldn't get to you sooner." Heeseung whispered as he tried to clutch her tighter in her shrugging cry.
All he's asking is forgiveness, so eager to fix everything and start again. If Aerin accepts it, he'll do the best he could to love her more than he used to do, without any room for mistakes this time.
"Hey--" he loosened his arms to get ahold of her sight. "It's okay. We can work it this time. I know I promised you before and I broke it. And it sucks like hell. I can't promise now but I will try. I will try harder, Aerin. Just tell me you feel the same way, that you love me still."
Aerin's eyes are full of wonders. It was the big, pretty eyes that captured his heart that easy. It's like a ball of shining crystal, so clear and vivid and always smiling, but looking at her eyes that's soaked in tears, it was clouded with fright. And Heeseung was devastated even before she could say a word.
"We didn't make it the first time. How can you be sure we'll make it the second time?"
She finally said it and Heeseung stopped breathing for a moment. The shattering of the hearts that's being broken is the loudest quiet ever. He looked straight into her eyes, and fastly, his eyeballs were dampening, more soaked than Aerin's eyes. It's not the answer he wanted to hear.
"I still love you, Hee." she said in between sobs. "But is love enough to make this work? We tried once but failed. We're just going to hurt each other over and over again."
That one, single mistake completely turned his world drastically. Heeseung thought he made the right choice. He left Aerin to protect her from the company's wrath, to save her from turmoil and to have her normal life back. His reason are valid but to her it's not.
"This talk is long overdue. I'm glad we finally get to straighten things out." Aerin bite her lip to stop another cry.
"No, Aerin." he shook his head abruptly. "Don't do this, please--" he begged like it was his last resort.
She pulled away and Heeseung felt like he's facing a gradual death. He's strangulated, like sharp needles pinching through his solid base, and he was out for air.
He survived the days away from her by clinging to happy memories they've made together. Putting an end to everything, it crumbled into fragments. It's falling apart, tearing him apart.
"You deserve the world, Hee. I won't take it away from you. As for me, I found my home here in LA. What we had, I'll forever carry it with me. I will always be cheering for you silently." Aerin pushed her words despite the hurtful cries.
How could she ever say that when she is his world? Did he came late to fix everything? How can she gave up that easy? Questions filled his mind while watching her drawing away.
They say, the most painful goodbye is the one that left unsaid but it goes different for him. The most painful goodbye is letting go of someone you loved the most because you cannot fight the forces that's bringing you apart.
Taking her biggest stride to escape Lee Heeseung's confused and streaming eyes, Aerin finally crumble in the dark corner of her car. She cried, hopelessly, breathlessly, painfully. Her heart dies in a slow death. Did she made the right choice? Probably, yes. Most definitely, yes. She's fooling herself, yes.
Aerin madly punched the wheel, stinging the sides of her tiny hands. The punching took it hard to roll up the sleeves of her inner coat. That tiny little silvery thing sways it's way catching her wet eyes. She's wearing that wristlet like forever, instinctively hiding it from the man who took her stuff away, holding it close and for so long. Behind that thing comes a promise. She didn't take it off, she stands to it. But living up to the promise, she failed herself.
She failed her promise. Loving Lee Heeseung 'till the very end, despite the fears, amidst the uncertainty, beyond the chaos, is set to break. Because loving a famous man, believe it or not, it's doomed to fail.
__________________________________________
"Aerin?"
She never know how long she was spacing out. Aerin faced the puzzled Maddie with a startling face.
"Y-Yeah?"
"Are you okay, dear?" the concern in Maddie's eyes is apparent.
"Of course." Aerin gave her back a stiff smile.
"Your phone is ringing for three times now. Aren't you going to answer it?"
She jolted seeing her brightened screen. Aerin couldn't believe she missed a call when it wasn't put into silent all along. She grabbed it fast and quickly went out of her desk. Maddie's stares is making her feel a little bit sicker, she needs some air.
"Aerin Choi of Starlight Magazine. How can I help you?" she finally answered and pushed herself to sound casual.
"Wow. Your English accent sounds amazing, Ms. Choi." the other person on the line commends.
Aerin was caught off guard for merely ten seconds and chuckled after realizing a familiar voice.
"Ms Kim! It's been a while. I-I'm so glad to hear from you!" Aerin couldn't help to exclaim.
"Likewise." Ms. Kim answered with her usual superior tone. "How's LA?"
"Good, good. I found my new home here. Thanks to you."
"I couldn't believe you're thanking when I forcibly dragged you out of Korea, scared, broken and unprepared."
Aerin's brows knots in confusion. Ms. Kim sounds apologetic, not her usual personality, and she was puzzled by her former editor in chief sudden cop-out.
"I apologize, Ms. Choi. I forced you out against your will. I know how it's hard for you to--"
"Ms. Kim--" Aerin puts her fast on halt. "It's okay. Please, don't feel guilty about it. I am enjoying myself here in LA, really."
"Aaah." Ms. Kim groans. "You cannot take the guilt away from me but this is not the reason why I called. Yunah quits and the senior editor position is up to take. I cannot give it to anyone but you. Are you considering of coming back? The situation here is quite steady now. The netizens already forgot about the mishap. And your dating scandal with Lee Heeseung didn't even hit the headline so--"
"Ms. Kim--" Aerin stopped her once more. "I'm sorry but I think I need to decline. Better give the position to Hong Jiah. Give her a chance. She'll do well, I know it. But thanks for considering me."
"You not saying that because you still have a hidden grudge on me, right?"
"No. Of course not." Aerin laughed.
She heard Ms. Kim clicked her tongue and let out a heavy sigh. She's so eager to have her back but Aerin made up her mind. She's not coming back to South Korea.
"You know, every night, the guilt keeps haunting me." Ms. Kim muttered again. "But I guess you need to learn the truth now. Thinking about the strife with Hybe, I need to send you out. I received your restraining order the morning before you left for LA. Hybe is really serious to press charges on you that time, Ms. Choi. They're going to turn the tables against you when you ran away with Lee Heeseung. You ran away with the Enhypen's ace, what do you expect?"
Aerin was stunned, more like being hit by a running truck. She don't have the slightest idea it's been running crazy in their own companies before. They created a mayhem out of their brainsick, silly heads.
"I-I don't have any idea it was that catastrophic before--" Aerin let out a gasp.
"Of course. You're both in love. Crazy, right?" Ms. Kim lightly chuckled. "But you know what, I praised Lee Heeseung for taking his stand. He loves you so much, Choi Aerin. I cannot express my admiration to that man."
"W-What?"
How many times she's been struck she cannot able to count. Ms. Kim's unexpected confession is stirring and she was thrown into the edge. Aerin thought she's done with the past but her silence goes like a signal that she wanted to hear more.
"I don't know if these statements will fix what's already broken. I can see you have both moved on but--" Ms. Kim heaved another sigh. "Lee Heeseung saved your butt off, did you know that? He made a deal with Hybe not to touch you or else, they'll lose him forever. Bang PD was hesitant to take the call at first but eventually agreed. They took Lee Heeseung back to Hybe. And then, surprisingly, I received call from him. He sounds devastated and he told me take care of you. That's when I proceed to the plan to take you to LA without him knowing where you are. You see, Aerin, I once believe he's a loser. But no, he's a keeper-- Hello? Ms. Choi, are you still there?"
She didn't bother to answer for she have heard enough. The truth unfolds in the time when she thought they reached the end. Aerin stormed her way back to her desk and nervously searched for Enhypen's timetable for the day. She cannot get ahold of the tab, her fingers are shaking like crazy.
"Dear, are you okay? You looked so stressed out." Maddie worriedly asked.
"Do you know if Enhypen's still here? Or where they are right now. Please, Maddie, I need to know." she muttered in panic.
"Oh, wait. I think I have some info here." Maddie uttered back while she checked on her screen. "Yep, they're still here but about to fly back home this afternoon. They're filming an episode for their reality program in a carnival--"
"I think I know where it is. Thank you, Maddie! You're a lifesaver!"
She sprung out of the room quickly, almost fled her car to the maximum limit. She cannot waste a minute and needs another talk with Heeseung. Aerin is cursing herself recalling what she had said last night. She's so stupid to say those things. If Heeseung is thinking of working things out, she needs to catch him before he takes the plane back home.
She rushed inside the carnival without losing another second. She stopped after getting a sight of Sunoo, Sunghoon and Jungwon talking to a staff near the humming whirligig. She breathes in relief when the three members looked her way.
"Aerin-ssi!" Sunoo greeted while waving his hand.
"Yahl Aerin-ah! Come over here!" Jungwon called her up.
Aerin sprinted fast. Her heart is pounding hard but hell, she doesn't care. She's panting and out of breath the moment she reached the three.
"Are you okay, Aerin?" Sunghoon worriedly asked.
"Yeah, yeah.." she nervously chuckled. "Jungwon-ah, where's Heeseung? Please, I need to talk to him."
It's so funny to plead. And she may look stupid, but she's not thinking about anything but to see Heeseung and straighten things out. She looked at Jungwon and his smile quickly fades. Aerin was puzzled looking at their shoulders dropped so suddenly.
"Heeseung Hyung--" Sunghoon started. "He--"
"He took the flight back home last night, Aerin." Sunoo sadly uttered.
"He needs rest for a little while." Jungwon added, face looked so downcast like Sunoo. "Heeseung Hyung requested a three month long hiatus because of personal reasons."
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