Funny, all hope drains even before it starts to bloom when I look at you.
-By anonymous.

We didn't look back when we saw the gate. I was... Possibly considering letting myself cry ugly when I was greeted by Dylan's worried look within the metal fence, waiting with Sarah who already poured everything into his sleeves, her sobbing echoes as people gathered together. 
The moment I reached them, they engulfed me in a tight hug. While Sarah cussed me out, Dylan laughed with a tear in his eyes. My chest tightened up, refused to have this feeling anymore in the future, the pain searing my chest, my throat felt like there was a brick, blinded my eyes until I poured the tears I was holding.
Blythe came before he mocked the hell out of me. I turned to glare with my eyes still wet.
"Shut up, I wasn't the one who got put on a stretcher and was afraid of heights!"
He laughed again.
"This kid is good at holding a grudge, Better be careful next time."
He replied before getting dragged by Dylan out of my sight. 
Sarah wiped her tears off before pulling me to the house. Silently working her way to the kitchen with me followed her like a little lost duckling. She reheated all the food before making me slurp on them all. 
It's a nightmare in the woods, defenseless. Not knowing what will attack you and what kind of strength they pose. Until you see nothing but yourself to fight, either you kill or be killed.
It's a situation which I don't like. Whether killing or getting killed. The outcome somehow only worked for one side and there's no in-between.
And in between my fear for Blythe and my fear of dying, the fear I have for Blythe conquered my head. All thought wasn't about me, but Blythe. I was worried for him especially since he was in a very vulnerable state. Crazy, I know. But, it's true. From where did I get the strength to drag a whole muscle man who was bigger than me, climbing and going up that far? 
Tell anybody, they would call me crazy, how the fuck forty feet up there was possible. Even Dylan after a few days questioned his sanity, asking if he remembers right. At that time I was truly about my own survival. Something doesn't feel right, I feel like I shouldn't die, I have something to do yet I don't remember any pieces to fix or be capable of lending some help.
It's all mysterious...
Ironically, I found myself scary too...
___________________...
It has been two weeks since the last incident. Yes, Blythe still calls me monkey boy, even after Dylan gave me a name, a proper name, Walter. 
Needless to say, Sarah getting more protective of me. She refused to let Blythe make me step outside the residence. If Dylan successfully convinced her otherwise, she would make Blythe bring three to four other people with extra weapons. She would wait for us to come back, and make sure we make it alive before the sunset.
She would make me busy on purpose so I can forget about getting out, she said. I have been gardening, so damn real. I have never gardened since... As far as I remember, which is a bit, and all I remember was the river and this resident. But, I tried to be as positive as I could be. I think of this, as my second life which I want to enjoy to the fullest.
Some residents came to meet me after Blythe went around and told the people about the tree incident, I thought he was embarrassed about it, but oh how I was wrong about that. He said that was an experience he shouldn't hide. And all the people that came said the same thing, you look small to carry Blythe, and forty feet up the tree with that. And I would reply the same, maybe the adrenaline since I was terrified and all I wanted was to survive.
They accept that answer though.
Today is the day of memorials, where we caught fish and wild vegetables to eat in memory of those who can't enjoy the safety and food we have now. For that, about two people or more selected each house to go fishing, and about twenty people were duties to protect while we were fishing. Actually, they don't care if you bring the whole family, but someone really needs to see the situation in the residence though. And of course, half of the residents followed along to the lake. 
Two days fishing, and bonding secretly for the whole two days. 
As we went separately in a different car, we drove with Dylan as the lead. It didn't take too long before we reached there after ten minutes. The wide field, and a bridge to a secluded cabin on the small island in the middle of the lake. I heard it was abandoned but it's too beautiful and well cared to say the least, and I doubt it was abandoned. There's a swing on the left of the house. 
Even though they said it was rumored to be abandoned, not even one person stepped further to the house except the bridge to fish. As if the invisible border was at the end of the bridge near the house and they mutually agreed to not go beyond the bridge.
Dylan started walking after admiring all the men who took their spots, they chose those spots for two days, they couldn't change their spots before getting the major agreement. 
After scouting, Dylan chose the spot on the bridge where only three family duos were there. He placed all the fishing rods, a heavy plastic box, and a big cooler bucket with ice on the side before we sat side by side. 
The air was cool, the sunlight was warm. The chatters invade the silent unmoving world we are in. The tranquility feels wrong to be enjoyable when some people wouldn't feel this anymore even though their bodies were still moving, and some were hiding from the aggressive moving body. It feels wrong but it's what was needed right now. 
For a second I let my head lean on the bridge wooden rails behind me, taking as much as I could. Who knows when I would feel things like this? Comfortable to the core. 
I heard the shuffling of metal from the box disturbing my peace. Looking over, Dylan was busy trying to find bait within his box. Watching him proceed, he looks over, giving me a sheepish smile. 
"Do you mind getting me some bait?."
I looked at him, confused. He needed to elaborate more because I knew nothing about fishing. I was here because who would go with you?. Sarah refused to have to spend her time too long under the sun.
"Where can I get them?"
He nodded to the end of the bridge where other villagers were chilling with their fishing rods.
"I supposed to have some in the car."
I looked over to the space he nodded at. He kept it in the car, not in the box?. What kind of bait? Without wasting any time I got up to fetch it for him. On my way, I was again lost in my thoughts.
Something bothered me lately. I was a guest, someone who shouldn't cross anything without their permission because I was the burden here and I basically stayed over at their house and they accommodated my needs, I felt I should do something at least because they do so much for someone who you don't know and have no memories, no nothing except... I can't give anything back.
They had to give their child's room to me, having another serving which has to add one more to everything for me, food amount? Increased. Clothes? Increased. What about the bill? Or water supply? Everything needs to be added more since I was there. 
I rubbed my neck, feeling guilty creeps in. But, I have nowhere to go. Is it right for me to do so?
I opened the car, the creaking door was so loud that I feared I would make others watch back to me. Worried heavy on my shoulders I feel a burning stare and chatter slowing down. They always looked at me as if I was some piece that made their curiosity spike in.
However, Dylan and Sarah treat me well, I barely feel uncomfortable being with them. Blythe on the other hand getting terribly obsessed with me. He would drag me into any missions he got. And end up bickering with Sarah, the strong 50-year-old woman.
Thumbs up to Sarah though.
After taking my time shuffling in the truck, I found a small transparent container just behind the truck with others Dylan's equipment. I jogged my way towards Dylan, handing him that container before sitting back beside him. 
Two days... 
Bet we only eat fish for the whole two days, now Sarah wasn't here. 
"Dylan, how laketown residence was built?"
I asked, trying to fill the silence. I mean, the topic wasn't too odd, right?. Right?... Well, he was the chief, bet he did something big to get that position, right?.
Dylan looks over before he places his fishing rod nicely. He slapped some dirt from the worm, which was used as bait on his dark brown pants. 
"Uhh..."
He delayed for a second. 
"Laketown actually is the name of our town somewhere around, some miles from here. We were a big community before the zombies attacked. Since we hadn't expected for them to be quickly infected within a week until they reached us."
I nodded, understanding.
"Within that week, we were trying hard to build the fence, security, you named it, but we didn't have enough time. There were a lot of people who died that day, and it took a few hours for them to ensue chaos. We fled, these three hundred people find safety within the gate."
He paused as his fishing rod moved. He pulled a fish, just a small one, smaller than his palm. He put the fish in as bait this time. Hmmm, I wasn't in a place to question him though... But, that's questionable...
That only meant I wasn't even an amateur, I knew nothing about fishing. 
Dylan pulled my fishing rod, seeing I was too dumb since I placed the rod within the bait, dumb enough...
" At first we started with the warehouse, and someone needed to scout the place, Blythe volunteered. Thanks fuck, we had him back then, he arranged the squad as I tried to contribute and formed some squad with everyone's cooperation, I would be lying if we hadn't bickering at all there's one time it almost cost some life and murder because of misunderstanding and family loss. But, it's worked somehow, we built the residence, and we protect each other, I would say, we are the hope for those who couldn't have the opportunity to be saved that day. I told you, man, it's all chaos that day."
"That... That sounds traumatizing..."
I looked at the blue water, strangely clean. My mind is empty for a second as if I understand how it feels, the chaos, the moment you look around when everything falls and crumbles into ashes, screaming for help, screaming of terror, screaming for someone's name. The fear of getting caught, the reminders of death flashing in your head but somehow you wish to survive for some reason. You don't know where to run, where to hide, where to go, even if you don't know who you run with, you hope they make it alive.
The aggressive growl, and the violence of the undead, make you try to choose to survive or to help others. Watching the motionless bodies, you want to cry because of their lost life, but also you want to puke over the violence of the zombies, the tissue, the skin, and even the whole body part-
"Walter?."
Dylan called. As if the fog had cleared up with him calling me, I turned to him, who had a worried look on his face, his forehead wrinkled, making him aging ten years more than his age. 
"Are you okay?."
"Yeah, just something in my mind. Somehow, I know how it feels, that's odd since I don't remember any events like that happening to me."
I nervously laughed. He gave me a pitiful smile, however, that made me shiver, why? Was it the feeling of knowing you're vulnerable and people just confirming it for you?. My memories lost were a blessing but also a curse.
"Do you know why we give you the name Walter?."
I shook my head, more than happy he averted from that topic. Having people remind me I lost my memory wasn't what made me feel good, so I was more than thankful for him being thoughtful.
"That was our son's name."
What?!
I snapped my head real hard, I heard my neck make a sound of snaps, the sudden move made my neck stiff, and painful at that, just for a second. 
"Your son?! Would he get angry if he found out? I might be dead at his hand, Dylan..."
I laughed nervously. But, he wasn't even smiling, taking the hint, I forced myself to shut my mouth, mentally slapping myself too. 
"He... Long gone. He was killed."
He sighed. Under that sigh, it wasn't about tired or something similar. It almost sounds like he gave up hope, maybe one day he would come and hug them, and say he's fine, he just hides somewhere to survive.
Oddly, I also understand how it feels, so much that my chest once again tightened and I have that need, to pour all my tears, my frustration, as if I had enough, and I just need to rest from all of this. But, I can't remember why, I have no idea why I feel like that.
I waited for him to continue, he took a deep breath as if peeling open the wounds. And it's bleeding again.
"It's okay Dylan, don't continue if you don't want to. It's hard, I know."
He nodded.
"It's hard, yes, that's true... But, I feel like I'm wrong to you somehow. Bringing you home is a hope for us. A new happiness, as if Walter did send you here, the day I met you, Sarah dreams of him. He laughed, he smiled, he is happy wherever he is, that's what he said."
My heart couldn't hold it, the way they were both trying so hard to be strong. My eyes watered as he continued. Sarah looks so nice, and so does Dylan, getting their son killed wasn't what they deserved.
"Damn, boy. When I saw you up there, I almost saw you with him. My heart knows you need help, and he brings me to you, so I can bring you home. You are now our source of happiness. Well, to be honest, I am a bit selfish, I think of you like my own son, without asking whether you're fine with that or not."
He laughed, loudly. I was next to him, wiping my tears like a waterfall. 
"I have no one currently. So, even if you want to arrange for my marriage, I'll gladly accept, if you want to be my wife then no."
He laughed again, louder than before, earning a few glances. Even those who were far from our spot took a curious glance.
"Nah, man. Sarah is more than enough. Honestly, Walter was a scientist junior. He suddenly came home, with a terrible fear. He refused to share what bothered him, but he wouldn't sleep at night, and if he did he would have a terrible nightmare causing him to have a seizure. We worried, of course. Until one day, he went out, for weeks, and when he came home, he gave me a property, a land. He said, "If anything happens, take the whole people here, and go to this place for safety.""
He sighed.
"That's a few months before the apocalypse breaks out. He went out almost every day, and when we asked where he was going, he always replied, build the safe place for you guys. And when we reached the warehouse, there was already a tall wooden wall surrounding it and some unfinished work. That's when we knew, what kind of safety he meant. By the time we were there, Walter wasn't even Walter, he barely spoke, barely eating, if he did talk, he would say, "I have wronged them, I have made a sin, the biggest sin. I made them like that. I did that." And cried, and cried, Sarah begged me to find a cure, but, where, when the world collapsed, all our need was limited."
He suddenly stood from his seat.
"Ah, that fish escape with my bait!."
He grumbled as he worked on another bait., and plopped down again. 
"Where were we?. Oh... That..."
He chuckled.
"Then, I saved this boy, I was hunting for our food, with some men. Walter refused to take a step outside of our house, and I don't remember how long that kid I found was there. What was his name again?. Ughh."
He rubbed his stubble beard. 
"Something with k, or is that his name?. Ka, ke, kae, kale?"
"That's bastard name is kaze, also called as k."
Someone suddenly interrupted. We looked at that person only to make Dylan stand and smack his head. Blythe rubbed his head, giving Dylan his infamous 'wtf look'.
"You left my wife there alone?!."
Dylan started, as he locked Blythe's head in his arm. I just laughed considering I might die if I interfered with these two. The bridge shakes a little to their tantrums.
"She said I need to see how Walter is doing and protect him!"
That makes Dylan freeze, his eyes widen and the same goes with his lips. Blythe saw this opportunity, shoving Dylan, and causing him to release Blythe's neck.
"She did?. What about me?"
Blythe just shrugged and came over to sit beside me.
"You can take my seat, Blythe."
I stood before he pulled my arm until I fell onto my seat back. 
"Nonsense! Just sit there you monkey boy."
"Be careful with your words Blythe."
Dylan argued. 
"You are the first to call him so."
"That's his father's privilege!"
"That's absurd. He deserves a better father!."
They both seething angrily.
"Call down you old men."
I called before this argument made the little bridge collapse. Really collapse, the other families on the same bridge start sweating already, and one family chooses to move with others' silent agreement.
I thought these two would take offense at me calling them old men, but no, Dylan took his seat and attended to his fishing rod again. Blythe just coughed awkwardly.
"So, what are both of you talking about until that bastard name comes out?. What topics is this?"
Blythe inquired. As he folded his arm to his chest. He grabbed my fishing rod which was ignored by both the fish and me. Before any of us answered he took his chance to mock me.
"Ha!. You, an amateur, as expected from a monkey boy, not even a small fish took his bait!."
He laughed, unaware of Dylan's stare.
"That, about kaze. Dylan found him when you guys went hunting?"
I tried to make a start for any of them to continue where the conversation left off. 
"Dylan did. We argue about that for some time, and I make myself busy with the scouting squad, which I regret so much."
Blythe sounds sad for some reason. All his playful demeanor switched off immediately.
"I invited that dude to my house, and Walter met him, which wasn't a good idea, Walter screamed, you make me do that, you make me kill them. None of us understood what was happening. Until that guy who I took as an innocent and good guy, suddenly laughing menacingly, goes, something like, I found you, or something, and proceeds to shoot Walter in the head and leaves with a laugh. I still remember that laugh, as if he was mocking me for trusting and losing my only son."
"That's why Blythe disagrees you brought me home that day?"
"Yeah, I did. But, it doesn't take me long to see that you're not just a virgin but a pure dumb man who would never do such a thing. And you're the reason Sarah is happy again and this man too. So, I am sorry monkey boy."
He gave a sheepish smile.
"A virgin huh?."
I looked at him, really done with his nonsense. Or perhaps it's true, who knows but I don't want to admit it!.
"Yeah, you avoid any woman who tried to woo you."
He pointed out before Dylan laughed out loud. 
"He did!. Do you remember when Melanie, the girl who worked at the farm, approached him and asked him out, he ran, no, more like almost flew without giving her answer?"
Dylan continued. These men... I sighed. 
These men will be the death of me.