“ Don't settle for less than your true potential, attempt great things. ”
***
— Cecile –
Later,
    “ Why did you defend, Jemmy? ” I paused my steps to stare at Joel who was walking beside me as we made our way out of the school premises. 
It’s been over three hours since the incident happened, yet it still felt vivid in my memory as if it had just occurred.
 I hadn’t been expecting Joel to come to my rescue, it came as a shock to not only me but the girls who glared hatefully at me before walking away. 
“ I just had to. ”
“ Why? ” He stared at me as our gaze locked and I knew instantly that it was going to be a long conversation, as he wasn’t going to give up without a proper explanation. 
“ Let’s take a seat first. ” I pointed at an iron bench in the middle of the school garden. 
“ Okay. ” He glanced at his wristwatch. “ But just for a few minutes, say 20? ”
“ Sure. ” We moved in sync and dusted off the bench before taking a seat side by side.
 “ I lost my twin to sickle cell anemia two years ago. ” I watched his expression move from normal to shocked and then wonder. 
“ Wow. ”
“ Yeah. ”
“ What was her name? ” I smiled bitterly at his question, no one had ever asked me that when I talked about her, probably because they thought it wasn’t required or necessary. “ Celine. ”
“ Oh. Were you identical? ”
“ Sadly no, if we were I would probably not be here or we’d both be alive and kicking. ” I grinned. 
“ Do you look alike? ”
“ In a way, yeah. But our personalities are completely different. Celine loved people and enjoyed partying and socializing. I was more secluded and preferred books to people. ”
 “ Oh. ” 
“ Won’t you say, “ I’m sorry. ” like most people do when they hear of the story? ”
“ I’d love to say that, but you’ve probably heard it a thousand and one times and it didn’t change anything, did it? ”
“ It didn’t. ”
“ Celine wasn’t only my twin, but she was also my girlfriend and best friend. As the first twin, she was the sensible one despite her partying nature. She acted more like my big sister many times. ” I smiled when Joel reached out and grabbed my palms and gave it a little squeeze. 
How come he knows how to comfort someone despite being in pain himself? 
“ Celine was my world. Our parents were working class and barely had time for us both, but Celine was always there. ”
“ I can still recall when I had my first crush at age ten. Celine didn’t mock me like other girls in my class would. Rather, she told me how normal and beautiful the feeling was. She reminded me to embrace it as it was a part of growing up. ”
“ She was too mature for her age. ” I chuckled as a memory flashed before my eyes. “ I remember how well she handled hearing that our parents were going to be out of town for two weeks, leaving their two thirteen-year-olds all alone at home. ”
“ Celine was too beautiful to be sick. ”
“ Just like Jemmy. ” I squeezed his palms, sensing the pain in his words.
“ I never knew she was sick, as she was an expert at hiding it. ” I smiled as another memory hit me. 
“ I had woken up in the middle of the night to pee when I started hearing sniffing sounds coming from the other room which was my sister’s. I paid no attention at first, but it only got louder as time passed. ”
“ Curiosity had gotten the better of me and I was out of my room and in front of my sister’s. The door was unlocked as always and I moved in with ease. ”
“ The room was dark, yet I could make out her form. “ Celine. ” I’d called out only for the sniffing to stop and the lights came up almost immediately. ”
“ Her eyes were slightly dry, but upon a closer look, I figured just how reddish and rosy they were. ”
“ You were crying, Celine. ” I advanced towards her and knelt by her bedside, taking her palms in mine. “ I was not. ” Her voice betrayed her given how hoarse it sounded. 
“ You were. ” I gave up arguing and instead studied her reflection under the light. Then I noticed it. “ Why are your ankles red and swollen, Celine? ”
“ It’s nothing. I am fine. ” She attempted to cover it up, but I was faster. 
“ No, you are not. ” I shook my head violently and before I could control myself I’d burst into tears. 
Weird, but she joined me and we both cried till we couldn’t anymore. “ Tell me. ” I managed to say after we’d calmed down a little. She did and I couldn’t believe my ears at first. 
How come we had different genotypes despite being twins? It’d only dawned on me then that we weren’t one hundred percent the same, unlike identical twins. 
I’d stayed with her that night and many more nights and on one occasion I’d asked her why she’d hidden her pain from me. “ I didn’t want you to get hurt. ”
“ But I had to know, didn’t I? ”
“ Yeah. ” Her lips were pursed as she said her next words which never ceased to ring in my head. “ I don’t want to be a burden to you, Cec. ”
“ You are not, Cel, and never will be. ” I’d held her tightly and from then on, we became closer than ever. We barely fought and did things in unison. 
  
  While she helped me become more social, I made her nights easier by helping her get comfortable and reducing her workload.
We’d spent so much time together that when she left, it felt as if a part of me had died and never to be risen anymore. 
I got into numerous relationships after her demise and tried to move on just as I’d promised her on her deathbed, but couldn’t. 
  I just couldn’t live when a crucial part of me was gone. 
“ I just couldn’t, Joel. ” By now I was already in tears and didn’t realize how shaky I was until Joel pulled me into his arms and embraced me tightly. 
  I felt my collars become damp and then it dawned on me that he was also crying. 
Had I unintentionally reopened his wounds?
….
“ Pain either brings people closer or separates them. ”
***
   — Joel —
As she spoke, it felt like my heart was being twisted by a knife. 
  Her words were so raw and relatable. I understood it all; Pain mixed with longing. 
The what if and if nots.
The inability to be able to move on, due to how much it still hurts even after so many months had passed. 
   “ I still miss her, Joel. ” Her words were raw and vulnerable, this was the very first time she would be this way around me and it was so heartfelt. 
Her words carried so much power and depth, that I wouldn’t have been able to comprehend them If I hadn’t gone through loss myself. 
   “ Yeah… ” I patted her back comfortingly. 
“ It still feels like yesterday when she left. ” I smiled at how familiar her words were.
“ Would I sound crazy if I say that I still feel her presence around me? ”
“ You wouldn’t. ”
“ Someone accidentally called me Celine and I felt her responding to her name. ” The more she spoke, the more poignant her pain became.
Then it dawned on me how lost I’d been in my pain to actually notice hers. How could I be so stupid and totally selfish as not to? 
I’d wrongly assumed she lived a perfect life given how loving and caring she was. How wrong I was. 
It made me wonder how possible it was for her not to lose herself in the midst of the pain. Does that mean she healed better than I’ve been struggling to? The truth is definitely not too far-fetched. 
“ Jemmy reminds me so much of my twin. They were both beautiful and deserved to live a long healthy life. But couldn't attain that. ”
“ Yeah, it sucks. ”
“ Very. ” We remained in that position for minutes, until my alarm went off. 
Cecile retracted herself from my embrace and my heart broke seeing just how reddish her eyes were. “ Hey. ” I handed her a handkerchief which she took gracefully. “ Thank you. ”
“ It’s my pleasure. ”
“ Thank you for listening to my story, Joel. It means a whole lot. ” 
“ Yeah. It’s my pleasure. Thank you for sharing. ”
“ Yeah. ”
“ Shall we? ” I stood up and reached out my hands to her. 
“ Sure. ” She took it and was pulled up by me. 
We strapped our backpacks behind us and slowly made our way out of the garden and school gate where Cecile had a vehicle waiting for her. “ See you tomorrow, Joel. ” I waved back at her as she made her way into the luxurious jeep. 
“ Same here. Bye. ” As I watched her car leave, I found myself wondering what fate awaited me at home given how late I was to leave the school premises. 
  I just wish I could escape it all and have a good life, but as always.
If wishes were horses, I wouldn’t be here, right? 
….
A/N : Awn…What do you think, guys?