“ What’s the point of love if it isn’t proven? ”
***
— Joel—
Cecile has feelings for me? How could that even be possible?
The duo’s words echoed in my mind. I couldn’t shake the thought, no matter how hard I tried. I kept replaying the scene, each repetition driving the realization deeper into my consciousness.
From the corner of my eye, I caught her glancing in my direction, her gaze soft yet intense, a warmth I could almost feel. My instinct was to look back, to meet her eyes and understand what lay behind them. But I forced myself to look away, the struggle between desire and restraint tightening in my chest.
I wanted so badly to talk to her, to see her smile and maybe even be the reason for it. But a part of me recoiled, holding me back. I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t.
“ Do you like her? ” Essy’s voice from earlier, so casual yet piercing, replayed in my mind, the question latching onto my thoughts like a thorn.
I’d never been so at a loss for words. Do I like Cecile? It was a question I hadn’t allowed myself to answer, not even in the quietest moments when the world was still, and the only voice I could hear was my own.
Sure, I enjoyed her company. There was an ease in being around her, a comfort that was hard to find. But did I really like her? That was a different question altogether.
“ Always listen to your heart, Joel. What does it say? ” Those words haunted me as I stood on the sidelines during sports, watching Cecile join the others in a game of basketball. 
Up close, she was striking in a way I’d never fully appreciated. Her movements were fluid and powerful, each step and jump filled with a quiet confidence that only came from someone who knew their own strength. How had I missed this before? 
Our eyes met briefly, and in that fleeting moment, I saw something in her gaze—an intensity, a question, perhaps even a hint of vulnerability. But before I could decipher it, I looked away.
“ I can’t. I just can’t. ” The words echoed in my mind, over and over, a mantra of self-denial. “ I really can’t. ”
Later, I isolated myself from the others, letting the sounds of the world around me fade as I put on my headphones, trying to drown out my thoughts with music. But the melodies did little to distract me, and eventually, I found myself in the studio, painting. I hoped the colors and brushstrokes would provide an escape, but they only led me deeper into my thoughts.
Midway through, my hands betrayed me, setting down the brush to pick up a pen instead. I began to write, letting the words spill onto the page in a chaotic rush.
Jemmy,
I always thought you were the one, 
my one and only, and that I’d never think of anyone else. 
But now, how do I find myself doing exactly that?
I miss her.
I miss our time together.
I miss hearing your voice.
But I can’t tell her that.
I can’t approach her.
Our relationship is going nowhere.
I am incapable of loving her. 
Why not end it now, before it becomes something stronger? 
Why not do that?
***
“ Hey Cecile! Pass the ball! ” Stacy’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts, pulling me back to the present.
“ Yeah. ” I called back, reluctantly returning to the game. I watched as Stacy darted towards the line, my eyes searching for the place where Joel had been moments ago.
He had been watching me. I was sure of it. But now, he was gone, his presence like a ghost in the wind, there one second and vanished the next.
“ Hey, ” A soft voice pulled me out of my reverie. I turned to see Essy standing beside me, her arms laden with books. Her nerdy glasses perched on her nose, the lenses reflecting the sunlight.
“ You okay? ” She asked, her gaze piercing through my facade, as if she could see every thought, every emotion I was trying to hide.
“ Umm. ” I began, but before I could finish, she reached out, her hand gentle as it wrapped around my shoulder.
“ Love sometimes sucks, doesn’t it? ” Her words were simple, yet they struck a chord deep within me, resonating in the silence that followed. I stared at her, wide-eyed, trying to make sense of what she was saying.
“ What do you mean? ” I asked, my voice barely more than a whisper.
“ I know you like him, Cecile, ” She said with a certainty that shook me. “ Maybe even more than you think you do. ”
Her words hit me like a wave, crashing over me and leaving me breathless. I knew I had feelings for him, but was it more than just a crush?
“ This is why I hate love, ” She muttered, more to herself than to me. “ It sucks. ”
I smiled, whilst staring at the beauty in front of me in awe, then at the books in her hands. Why am I not so surprised? “ But you will fall in love one day, won’t you? ”
She didn’t answer right away, her gaze drifting ahead as if lost in thought. I followed her line of sight, spotting a shady spot beneath the trees, the perfect place for a quiet conversation.
“ Let’s go there, ” She suggested, and I nodded, falling into step beside her.
“ I’m not as talkative as my sister, ” She admitted, a faint smile playing on her lips. I couldn’t help but smile back, understanding exactly what she meant.
I waited for her to continue, her words hanging in the air between us. “ But I do like you, Cecile, and I care about you more than I’d like to admit. ”
“ Yeah. ” I replied softly, unsure of what else to say.
A rustling among the leaves caught our attention, and we turned to see a small squirrel scurrying up a tree, its fur a mix of black and white patches that made it both striking and adorable.
“ I’d love to have one of those as a pet, ” I mused, watching the squirrel disappear into the branches.
“ Me too, ” Essy agreed, her tone light, but then she turned serious again. “ So, you like Joel? ”
Her sudden shift in tone caught me off guard, and I hesitated before answering. “ Yeah, ” I admitted, the words tasting bittersweet as they left my lips.
“ He likes you too, ” She said, her eyes locked on mine. I whipped my head around, staring at her in shock. “ Really? ”
“ Yeah. ” She nodded, dropping her books onto the ground between us. She placed her hands on my shoulders, her gaze intense. “ But he won’t admit it to you or to himself. ”
“ Why not? ” I asked, even though I already knew the answer. But I needed to hear it, to confirm the thoughts swirling in my head.
“ He’s broken, Cecile. ” Her words hit me like a hammer, each syllable a blow to my heart. I knew he was broken, but I’d never fully considered what that meant, what it entailed.
“ He’s incapable of love, ” The tears came then, unbidden and unstoppable, as her words cut through me. They touched a part of me that I had tried to keep hidden, a part that was now exposed and vulnerable.
“ But he loved Jemmy, right? ” I stammered, trying to keep my voice steady, but the tears made it difficult. I didn’t want to cry in front of Essy, this seemingly unemotional girl who was now seeing me at my weakest.
“ He did, and he always will, ” She replied, her voice soft but firm. Her words echoed in my mind, and I wondered if I was willing to share the one I loved with someone else.
‘ You will always have me, Cel. ’ My sister’s words came back to me, as they always did in moments of doubt. They had always made me feel safe, secure. But now…
“ So, what’s the point?” I asked, the question slipping out before I could stop it.
“ He needs you, Cecile, ” Essy said, reaching out to pluck a leaf from my hair. “ But you will get hurt if you stay. ”
I watched as she twirled the dried leaf between her fingers, forming it into a small ring.
“ Yeah. ” I murmured, the truth of her words sinking in.
“ So, what do you suggest? ” The question felt absurd, but I asked it anyway. Essy wasn’t one to believe in love, yet I couldn’t help but feel she was the right person to ask.
“ Listen to your heart, Cec, ” She said, rising to her feet and extending a hand to me. “ Believe me, it knows what to do. ”
I nodded, taking her hand and letting her pull me up.
“ You might get hurt, ” She added, her voice gentle, “ But you will be fine. ”
How ironic, I thought sadly as I followed her, feeling the weight of her words settle in my chest. “ Do I really want this? ”
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A/N: What do you think, guys?