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Chapter 26 Broken dreams
“ Love isn’t something you seek. It’s something that finds you. ”
***
— Cecile —
“I love him, Dad... I really do.” The words slipped out in broken sobs as I sat by the beach, nestled in my father’s arms, his embrace as comforting as ever.
“Baby,” he whispered softly, his voice tender like always.
“But he doesn’t feel the same. I look at him with all the love I have, but he just stares back with empty eyes.” The words flowed out like an unstoppable flood as tears fell.
“I love him so much that it hurts, Dad... but he doesn’t. The most I’ll ever be to him is a friend.”
“It’s so unfair…” My eyes locked on the sea, blurred with tears. And then, out of nowhere, the memory of Joel on that first day came rushing back—the moment it all made sense. His eyes, so full of pain and sorrow, had drawn me in from the start.
“Baby...” My dad’s simple words wrapped around me like warmth in the cold.
I remembered everything—Joel’s tenderness, how he reacted when he saw me getting bullied, the way we spent hours in the studio painting side by side. Had I imagined the connection we shared? Could I have been wrong?
It couldn’t be just coincidence, could it? That I transferred to his school, met him on the very first day, and we became close friends… even though it led to this?
“Cecile?”
“Yeah?” I stayed still, the silence between us thick with unspoken thoughts.
“When I met your mom, I felt an instant connection. She was everything I’d imagined, beautiful in a way that took my breath away. But she hadn’t yet achieved all her dreams... and she wasn’t quite the woman I’d pictured for my future. But I knew, without a doubt, that she was the one.”
He paused, letting the weight of his words settle. “The problem was, she didn’t feel the same about me.” A small smile touched my lips—somehow, I wasn’t surprised. I’d often wondered what my mom saw in Dad, with them being so different.
“They say opposites attract, right? But still… your mom had dreams, big dreams, and admirers. She was so focused, so determined.”
“Yeah, she was,” I said softly, recalling how she’d told us about her dreams—dreams that never came to be.
“I wanted to be an astronaut, to see space and explore the stars,” she had once said. It was a dream that seemed almost too big, too daring.
“Why didn’t you make it?” I had asked, immediately regretting it as her answer broke my heart.
“My scholarship was canceled out of the blue… I couldn’t continue.”
“What level were you at?”
“I had finished university… I thought I’d be funded through space school, but it didn’t happen.”
“And then?” Celine had pressed, eager for more.
“I got married and had both of you.” Tears had filled all our eyes that day. “You two were my dream come true… you filled a void I didn’t know could ever be filled.”
Her words echoed in my mind, especially after Celine passed. Mom had wanted so much—a twin wedding, twin sons-in-law—but that dream shattered with Celine’s death.
“Take care of Mom for me, okay?” Celine had told me in her final moments, almost as if she knew something I didn’t. That was her, always the one who knew more, always ahead.
“I will,” I had promised. But sometimes, I wonder if I did or if I am. If I had, maybe things wouldn’t have turned out the way they did… or maybe it was inevitable.
“I had a crush on her despite how different we were. She was introverted; I was extroverted,” Dad’s face lit up with a soft smile as he talked about Mom, and I found myself wondering why it had all gone wrong. Why couldn’t they have stayed together? Why had it ended?
“We were in college together, but I never worked up the courage to tell her how I felt until one day…”
He paused, taking a breath. “I was on my way to a football match when I saw her, walking in the rain, looking completely lost. Her files would’ve been drenched if not for the thick folders protecting them. My heart ached seeing her like that. I canceled my plans to understand what went wrong.”
I watched him wipe away a tear. “Broken dreams hurt, you know…”
I smiled, understanding. I’d felt that pain when I lost Celine, watching her take her last breath. Her death shattered my world, and the days that followed were a blur of grief and loss.
“I hated seeing her like that, but I knew I had to accept it.”
“Where do I even start?” Mom had repeated those words over and over, lying in his arms, utterly broken.
I related to that. After Celine was gone, that question haunted me for months. How do you keep living when your sunshine is gone? Where do you even begin?
“After losing her dreams, you and Celine were what kept her going,” Dad continued, his voice heavy with the past.
“Did she ever love you?” The question slipped out, sharp and unfiltered.
Dad looked at me, pain flickering in his eyes. “Not as much as I loved her.”
Unrequited love. I sighed deeply.
“We dated for three months, and one night, we went to a party, got drunk, and… well, Celine and you were the result of that night.”
The revelation hit me hard.
“So, you didn’t plan to get married?”
“Not as early as we did.”
“Wow,” I whispered, my heart softening toward him. I’d blamed him for so much without fully understanding.
“You don’t have to feel guilty,” he said, reading my thoughts.
“Yeah…”
“Do you still love her?”
A smile crept onto his face, as if he’d been expecting that question. “Yes. And I always will, until the day I die.” He paused before adding, “True love never dies, Cecile. We just learn to live on, with or without it.”
His words echoed in my mind, lingering like a haunting melody.
Had I found the answer I’d been searching for?
Maybe I had.
***
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